Slut-shaming is judging, harassing or bullying someone for their perceived promiscuity or the way they express their sexuality. It can be overt and calculated, like calling someone a degrading name or starting hurtful rumours. But it can also be subtle and covert - like someone raising their eyebrows when you state the number of sexual partners you’ve had.
On Made In Chelsea, Inga Valentiner has been a victim of this, from the moment she stepped on the show, at the hands of some of the men. However, in the most recent episode Inga was on the receiving end of hurtful comments from both the men and the women on the show.
While neither is acceptable, for many viewers it felt more personal coming from women – the very people who suffer the most from these kind of degrading comments. We know just how much these comments can be internalised and can go on to affect our self worth and mental health.
For context, Inga kissed Emily Blackwell’s ex-boyfriend Harvey Armstrong.On hearing about their kiss, Ruby Adler labelled Inga 'desperate and thirsty' despite the fact that Inga was a single woman when she kissed Harvey. Emily and Inga are also more like acquaintances rather than friends - only crossing paths during large social events.
Fans of the show instantly took to Twitter to call out her behaviour - particularly in comparison with how Sam Prince was treated when he cheated on Inga. 'Why do the girls in #MadeInChelsea always attack each other. Why can the guys cheat and all the girls defend him, but when a girl doesn’t cheat, but does kiss a boy in the group they all attack her like vultures! Come on girls! Do better!'
Another viewer commented, ‘Don’t like the slut-shaming bully fest against Inga from Ruby and Emily.'
The comment from Ruby was disappointing. What moves us to bring down our own kind? Does it stem from genuine dislike? Or is it just how we have been conditioned by the patriarchal setup of society? 'Much of it may come down to simple insecurity,' says Ashley Grinonneau-Denton, a certified sex therapist and founder of Cleveland Relationship Therapy in Ohio. 'Some women may project their insecurities about their sexuality or appearance onto other women,' she added. It would be nice to see some comradery from the other girls rather than jumping to tear Inga down.
As for why men feel the need to slut-shame? It’s all about power and feeding their ego. Harvey claimed he felt ‘used’ by Inga because they shared one kiss and then she changed her mind about wanting to peruse him romantically. It's almost as if women aren’t allowed to change their minds. Men do this all the time – as did Harvey on the show itself when he decided to cheat on Emily. The tantrum he is having is all about the loss of power over Inga.
When Inga rightfully confronted the men about their comments she was instantly condemned by Tristan Phipps, Harvey and Reza Amiri-Garrousi for seeing multiple people. God forbid a single woman goes on multiple dates and is sexually free! Tristan had the most to say about the need for Inga to 'communicate' her feelings with both men. Lest we forget, remember that time when he was secretly dating both Olivia Bentleyand Nicole Berry? He doesn't really have a leg to stand on. As Olivia said, ‘People in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones.’ None of them are perfect and to condemn Inga for something they have all done is so hypocritical.
This has been a consistent theme directed at Inga and the slut-shaming needs to stop. It’s not nice to see a woman being condemned for her every move. We would also like to see more of the woman on the show sticking together instead of bringing each other down…
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