We Need To Talk About The Toxic Men On Love Is Blind

Cole Barnett, Bartise Bowden and Matt Bolton are all red flags.

love is blind

by Aaliyah Harry |
Published on

Where do we even begin with the men on Love Is Blind?As the episodes progress, they are just becoming more unhinged (minus SK Alagbada and Brennon Lemieux ..we love you!)

Last series we had Shake Chatterjeeand this series we have Cole Barnett, Bartise Bowden and Matt Bolton. They are all toxic but in different ways. Each of them have been called out for their shocking behaviour and we are questioning why the women on the show have to put up with this.

The internet seem to agree with these sentiments too, with many women taking to Twitter and TikTok to share their opinions. One fan commented: Love is Blind are not even attempting to choose good men for these women ... they just want drama.' Another said, 'Love is blind is a show about beautiful women and the men who don't deserve them.' Here's why most of the men on Love Is Blind are red flags:

Bartise Bowden and Nancy Rodriguez

Bartise Bowden is a 27-year-old senior analyst and he proposed to 32-year-old Nancy Rodriguez, a speech pathologist. Despite his initial attraction to pilates instructor Raven Ross, Bowden and Rodriguez left the pods together.

Things took a turn when Bowden met Raven in-person during the retreat. In episode five, Bowden was seen chatting to Raven in the pool when he told the pilates instructor that he was 'very impressed' with her physical appearance. Raven instantly shut things down and told Bowden that they wouldn’t have an emotional connection as a couple. However, he still continued to ponder (and became a bit obsessed) on the idea of them together.

The worst part was when Bartise told his fiance Nancy he still had feelings for Raven and called her a 'smoke show.' He then started to slowly pull away from her and stated he was not 'physically attracted to her.' Bartise is so fixated on Nancy not being his usual type that he is sabotaging the relationship. Watching Nancy's self-confidence plummet each episode has been so heart-breaking to witness. He continues to manipulate and gaslight her into thinking she's not enough or that him pulling back emotionally is all in her head - which is not the case.

A HUGE red flag almost blinded the nation when they discussed abortion.The two were discussing their timelines for children when Nancy explained that she has an increased chance of a higher-risk pregnancy than women who have children at a younger age, considering she is currently 31 years old. She then asked Bartise what he would do if he found out his child had a birth defect and abortion was an option. 'I could not, f**k no,' he said.

Nancy explained to him that because of her career, she’s been exposed to many different medical and learning complications, which has informed her stance on abortion. When she asked Bowden if his view on abortion would change if the pregnancy was unplanned, he said that 'you can get one pass' for an unplanned pregnancy 'but you can’t do it again.'

Rodriguez said that she doesn’t believe you can put a number on the amount of abortions someone has, specifically in the case of non-consenual sex. Bartise agreed, but maintained that an unplanned pregnancy between consenting partners is not an excuse for an abortion. I think it should be up to a woman what she does with her body.

Another worrying moment came after Nancy showed Bartise all her properties. His eyes lit up and his whole demeanour changed once he realised Nancy's wealth and successful real estate portfolio. Suddenly, he was even more into her than before...how convenient.

After a bitter split wit her ex-husband it is clear Nancy is just holding on to the idea of love. However, she is a woman that has so much going for herself. She is beautiful, has a successful career and a loving family. Bartise will not be a positive addition to her life and their relationship just dosen't make sense.

In a TikTok video Bartise responded to a comment saying he resembled Andrew Tate. He said, 'He's top G but I don't know how I feel about this one. It is what is is though.' Dare I say more? The fact that he didn't flat out distance himself from this resembelence tells us everything we need to know about him.

Cole Barnett and Zanab Jeffrey

Cole is a 27-year-old realtor and Zanab, 32, is also a realtor. Cole proposed to Zanab after a bumpy ride in the pods. Cole also had a connection with Colleen Reed during their time in the speed-dating experience but he eventually proposed to Zanab.

When Cole saw Coleen in person - everything changed. The contestants were at a pool party when Cole admitted to Colleen that she was physically more his type than Zanab. He even repeatedly told his fiancé that he finds Coleen more attractive - going so far as to tell Zanab that he rates her a 9/10 but Coleen a 10/10.

He also said to Zanab 'Do you think I thought a girl with the name Zanab would look like the other girls I’ve dated with names like Lily.’ This is clearly a microaggression. It's clear Cole has a type and that's fine but to continually highlight that Zanab will never be enough for him is so cruel. It is a tale as old as time for women of colour in the dating world. To watch Zanab pick her self apart because she will never fit the eurocentric standard of beauty Cole so desperately wants is hard to watch.

Zanab has even started to internalise Cole's thoughts and believes that she is not up to his standards. In episode seven she admits, 'Coleen is a knock out and I will never look like her.' Adding, 'I unfortunately will never look like Coleen.' Which was so heartbreaking to watch.

When she brings it up to Cole again - because it has clearly deeply hurt her - Cole was in shock that she wasn't 'over it.' How could she be? The gaslighting is at every turn with Cole. Zanab then begins to question if she's just insecure which isn't okay. If your partner is repeatedly telling you that someone else is more attractive of course it would effect you. Cole is the root cause of the tension and is mentally breaking Zanab down.

It's not just that Cole and Bartise are making their fiancé's feel less than perfect but the fact that they are trying to convince them that this is a healthy discourse in a relationship. News flash: it’s not.

Matt Bolton and Coleen Reed

Now, some people might be surprised at me saying Matt is also a red flag. His worrying behaviour wasn't apparent from the start he was able to slide under the radar (partially because many of us forgot he was on the show until he proposed to Coleen.) However, after watching episode seven the theme is: Coleen, run!

Matt is a 28-year-old private charter sales executive and Colleen is a 26-year-old ballet dancer and digital PR strategist. They were the last two to get engaged and their relationship was going well until episode 5 at the pool party.

As we know Cole and Colleen both expressed they were each other's type at said party. 'For sure you would be the person I go to in a bar,' Colleen said to Cole, before the pair engaged in some more flirty banter. At the end of the episode Matt asked Colleen about her 'little conversation' with Cole and it got heated. One fan noted, 'After that outburst Matt had and the stone faced aggression he pointed towards Colleen, continuing to eat his food while she's sobbing in the bathroom, it all made me extremely uncomfortable.'

The anger and aggression Matt has towards Coleen is very worrying. While he was right to hold Colleen to account about her disrespectful conversation with Cole he needs a compltley different approach. Matt also spoke to Cole about the incident, and some fans claimed out it was 'misogynistic' that he didn’t believe Colleen until Cole confirmed there was nothing going on between them.

At the end of episode seven Matt was ready to fly off the handle again. After coming home from a group event to find Coleen out hat wasn't there, he angrily called Bartise and Nancy and demanded to know where she was. 'Where the f**k is Colleen?' Matt yelled down the phone to Nancy, who informed him that she had gone to another club with some of their fellow contestants. 'A club's more important than coming back to your boy? 'he questioned. Matt then started furiously packing his bags, demanding he was 'f**king done.'

With Matt his first reaction is always anger and hostility when it come to his fiance and that sets a dangerous precedent for their relationship. There is no communication and he goes from zero to 100 within seconds. No relationship can work or blossom through fear.

We are just praying and hoping these women can see beyond the rose-tinted glasses of a 'fairytale romance' and say NO to these men at the altar. Their mental health and self confidence will be damaged in the long run.

READ MORE: Love Is Blind Season 3’s Most Unhinged Moments So Far

READ MORE: Love Is Blind Season 1: Where Are They Now?

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