If you’ve kept up with any of the Love Island cast this year, chances are one of them is Casa Amor’s Coco Lodge. She might not have been in the series for long, but the 27-year-old made such a splash on the series that she’s still stirring up headlines today.
Coco, who has a combined 470k followers on Instagram and TikTok, has become a social media sensation since Love Island – known for her raw honesty and hilarious self-depreciating videos. The most recent example of that? Her realising that she’s a ‘pick me girl’.
If you’re unsure of what a ‘pick me girl’ is we have a full run down with examples for you here, but it’s essentially a woman who seeks male validation to the detriment of other women around them. They might point out to men how little make-up their wearing compared to ‘other girls’ or how easy-going they are compared to their up-tight girlfriends – all in an effort to differentiate themselves from other women, subsequently shaming their female counterparts in the process. As the saying goes, they scream ‘PICK ME, CHOOSE ME, LOVE ME.’
Thankfully, Coco doesn’t want to be a ‘pick me girl’ – but that doesn’t change that she is one. ‘I only just learned what it is and I actually think I might be one,’ she admits.
‘I don’t really wear much make-up because when I try I look like Pete Burns, but I constantly tell guys “Oh yeah I don’t really wear make-up”’ she admitted on TikTok. ‘I’ll go on FaceTime with concealer on my spots, my brows are micro-bladed and I’m like “Oh my God I look so ugly” even though I know I look good… that’s giving “pick me girl” so I need to stop that.’
Other examples Coco references include telling people how ‘tiny and cute’ she is all the time (at 5ft2), farting and burping in front of men saying ‘Oh I’m just one of the lads’ and using the line ‘I’m not like other girls’ to get dates. ‘Please don’t hate me but I am a pick me girl!’ she confesses at the end of the TikTok.
Honestly, it’s the kind-of self-awareness few will admit on social media these days – and perhaps that’s why it’s so refreshing. ‘This is the first step to recovery babes, proud of you,’ one user joked on the app. ‘I love the way she admits it,’ another added.
And it’s true, because not to go too feminist theoretician over a 30-second TikTok, but ‘pick-me girls’ are borne from the same internalised misogyny that makes many of us feel we need to wear a ton of make-up, or we can’t fart or burp in public without being deemed unladylike. We’re all fighting the same battles; we all grow up with that patriarchal weight that essentially brainwashes you into seeking male validation throughout your life. So, acknowledging that you seek male validation in a way that could perpetuate harmful stereotypes about women is necessary self-reflection.
We’re all learning (and unlearning) every day the ways internalised misogyny manifests in each of us and being self-aware is the only way to analyse that behaviour - and where it does have the potential to harm others, stop. It might just be a funny TikTok, but Coco is demonstrating an evolution of thought all of us can relate to at one point in time.