What Is A Pick Me Girl? The Meaning Behind TikTok Trend Explained

We all know one...

Mean Girls

by Georgia Aspinall |

Oh TikTok, the latest trendsetting app beloved for its ability to entertain yourself with mindless scrolling for literal hours. TikTok’s can be funny, TikTok’s can be educational, but most of all, TikTok’s can be absolutely fucking savage. In fact, the app is fast becoming known for toxic comment sections and viral trends that can escalate into to bullying and harassment. One example? The trend towards bashing the ‘Pick Me Girl’.

What is a ‘pick me girl’?

Allow us to the meaning of a ‘pick me girl’ first – because don’t get us wrong, they are bloody annoying. A ‘pick me girl’ is an evolution of the ‘cool girl’ – they seek male validation above all else, to the detriment of other women. The female foot soldiers of the patriarchy, their interests are designed solely to impress men, their opinions moulded to the man of the moment – be them sexist or not - and crucially, they have no time or respect for other women. As the name suggests, everything they do screams ‘PICK ME, CHOOSE ME, LOVE ME’ to the men around them, a woman with so much internalised misogyny they might not even notice how truly cringe they are coming across.

Being so cringe then, making fun of ‘pick me girls’ is an easy content opportunity for TikTokers. Mimicking their behaviour, many a content creator have gone viral for their ‘pick me girl’ POV videos. For examples, just scroll…

In fact, ‘pick me girl’ content is so popular it’s sparked intense Google search trends. ‘What is a pick me girl?’ is currently a breakout search term on Google, as well as ‘pick me girl meaning’ and – thankfully – ‘what is a pick me boy’. Because that’s the thing, ‘pick me’ behaviour isn’t exclusive to women, women have just bore the brunt of the trolling.

What is a ‘pick me boy’?

 In men, ‘pick me’ behaviour typically inverts the trend of seeking male validation, rather these men do everything they can to impress women, but usually with ill-intent. ‘Pick me boys’ are the modern-day fake feminist guy, ‘nice guys’ who typically love-bomb women, pretend to have the same interests only to emotionally manipulate them later on. They’ll put themselves down intentionally to seek validation from women, fishing for compliments by comparing themselves to other men. Just check out these examples…

The problem with the ‘pick me’ trend

But the thing is, the meaning of ‘pick me’ behaviour is becoming skewed on social media. What started off as an innocent and often funny trend that forces those who might be partial to ‘pick me’ behaviour’ has spiralled out of control. Now, it’s primarily used as another stick to beat women with, the term thrown at anyone who shows an interest in male-dominated hobbies or dares to call themselves ‘weird’. While some have used the ‘pick me girl’ trend to legitimately call out sexist behaviour displayed by other women, others have simply used it to escalate said sexism and harass women on the app. It’s become the insult of all insults, used against women for the slightest thing when actually, pick me girls in their fullest form rarely exist – at least after a certain age.

We might all know someone who’s partial to the occasional ‘pick me’ comment, but in the main being a ‘pick me girl’ is a phase of adolescence that many grow out of when they realise… men are really not worth all this. Certainly by your late 20s – particularly in the current dating landscape – it’s a common female experience to look back on all of the ways you sought male attention as a youngster and well… cringe. Yes, there may still be ‘pick me girls’ at 40, 50 and 60 even, but it’s wise to remember that there would be no ‘pick me girls’ at all if it weren’t for the patriarchy in the first place – so perhaps we should be bashing the men that uphold it rather than the women falling victim to it, even if they are, admittedly, bloody annoying.

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