If you, like us, are obsessed with mindlessly scrolling through TikTok, you'll most likely have come across the phrase 'Pick Me Girl'. TikToks can be funny, TikToks can be educational, but most of all, TikToks can be absolutely savage. One example? The trend towards bashing the ‘Pick Me Girl’.
What is a ‘Pick Me Girl’?
Allow us to explain the meaning of a ‘Pick Me Girl’ first – because don’t get us wrong, they can be annoying. A ‘Pick Me Girl’ is an evolution of the ‘cool girl’, the 'not like other girls' girl – they seek male validation above all else, to the detriment of other women.
The female foot soldiers of the patriarchy, their interests are designed solely to impress men, their opinions moulded to the man of the moment – be they sexist or not - and crucially, they have no time or respect for other women. As the name suggests, everything they do screams ‘PICK ME, CHOOSE ME, LOVE ME’ to the men around them, a woman with so much internalised misogyny they might not even notice how truly cringe they are coming across.
Being so cringe, making fun of ‘Pick Me Girls’ is an easy content opportunity for TikTokers. Mimicking their behaviour, many a content creator has gone viral for their ‘Pick Me Girl’ POV videos.
What is the origin of the 'Pick Me Girl' trend?
The term 'Pick Me Girl' first appeared on Twitter - now known as X - in 2016 with the hashtag #TweetLikeAPickMe, with people mocking girls who called themselves ‘wifey material’, drawing attention to their traditionally ‘feminine’ virtues and habits. Since then however, the term has since evolved to mean almost the opposite.
What are 'Pick Me Girl' traits?
Here a list of the common behaviours that a 'Pick Me Girl' exhibits:
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Constantly seeking validation from others, especially boys.
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Putting other girls down.
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Desperation for a relationship or just male attention.
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Dismissing other women's experiences and opinions.
What are examples of a 'Pick Me Girl'?
Still not quite got your head around the 'Pick Me Girl' TikTok trend? Here are some of the best examples of 'Pick Me Girls' in their natural habitat.
In fact, ‘Pick Me Girl’ content is so popular it’s sparked intense Google search trends. ‘What is a Pick Me Girl?’ is currently a breakout search term on Google, as well as ‘Pick Me Girl traits', 'Pick Me Girl meaning’ and – thankfully or not as the case may be – ‘what is a Pick Me Boy’. Because that’s the thing, ‘Pick Me’ behaviour isn’t exclusive to women, women have just experienced the brunt of the trolling.
What is a ‘Pick Me Boy’?
In men, ‘Pick Me’ behaviour typically inverts the trend of seeking male validation, rather these men do everything they can to impress women, but usually with ill-intent. ‘Pick Me Boys’ are the modern-day fake feminist guy, ‘nice guys’ who typically love-bomb women, pretend to have the same interests only to emotionally manipulate them later on. They’ll put themselves down intentionally to seek validation from women, fishing for compliments by comparing themselves to other men.
What are examples of a 'Pick Me Boy'?
Oh the second-hand cringe that we get from watching some of these 'Pick Me Boy' TikTok videos...
What's an example of a 'Pick Me Girl' in movies?
Whilst, of course, bestowing someone with the title of 'Pick Me Girl' is subjective, users on one Reddit thread named Jo from Mean Girls 2, Elle in The Kissing Booth, Bianca in 10 Things I Hate About You, Julianne in My Best Friend's Wedding, and Sam in A Cinderella Story as examples of 'Pick Me Girls'.
The problem with the ‘Pick Me’ trend
The sad thing is, the meaning of ‘Pick Me’ behaviour is becoming skewed on social media. What started off as an innocent and often funny trend that forces those who might be partial to ‘Pick Me’ behaviour’ has spiralled out of control.
Now, it’s primarily used as another stick to beat women with, the term thrown at anyone who shows an interest in male-dominated hobbies or dares to call themselves ‘weird’. While some have used the ‘Pick Me Girl’ trend to legitimately call out sexist behaviour displayed by other women, others have simply used it to escalate said sexism and harass women on the app. It’s become the insult of all insults, used against women for the slightest thing when actually, 'Pick Me Girls' in their fullest form rarely exist – at least after a certain age.
We might all know someone who’s partial to the occasional ‘Pick Me’ comment, but being a ‘Pick Me Girl’ is a phase of adolescence that many grow out of when they realise… men are really not worth all this. Certainly by your late 20s – particularly in the current dating landscape – it’s a common female experience to look back on all of the ways you sought male attention as a youngster and well… cringe. Yes, there may still be ‘Pick Me Girls’ at 40, 50 and 60 even, but it’s wise to remember that there would be no ‘Pick Me Girls’ at all if it weren’t for the patriarchy in the first place – so perhaps we should be bashing the men that uphold it rather than the women falling victim to it, even if they are, admittedly, bloody annoying.