Remember 10 years ago when ending a relationship meant blocking their phone number, banishing all good memories to the darkest corners of our mind and pretending said person never existed? Yeah, we can’t do that anymore. More than that, we seem to be embracing the absolute opposite and actually rehashing our relationship mistakes with our exes. At least, Ariana Grande reportedly is.
The global treasure was spotted hanging around with Big Sean, Ricky Alvarez and Graham Phillips in the weeks running up to her Sweetner tour, which kicked off this week. Why has she suddenly decided to get back in contact with the very men we assumed she was leaving in the past a la ‘thank u, next’? Well, according to Us Weekly, she’s seeking closure and wants to know more about why the relationships failed for her own self-awareness.
‘After “Thank U, Next” came out, Ariana was really living her single life and being with her friends, learning about herself,’ an insider reportedly told the publication, ‘she didn’t want any bad blood holding her back from the next phase of her life. She has reached out to her exes to have a positive place in her life right now and for peace of mind, so she can focus on herself and this tour, which is the only thing on her mind right now.’
At first glance, it screams classic Ariana. Despite her commitment to being onto the next again and again in the global anthem that took over our playlists for months last year, she is vocal about her journey of self-discovery and taking time to learn more about herself. It’s why her positive attitude in the song was so heavily praised, and what led her to promote the importance of therapy to her fans when they asked who had gotten her to such a healthy place emotionally given the tragic death of her ex-boyfriend Mac Miller and soon-after called off engagement to Pete Davidson.
But with further investigation, we must ask, is rehashing old relationships for ‘closure’ really the healthy thing to do? According to psychologist and Counselling Directory member, Philip Karahassan, it can actually serve the opposite purpose.
‘It might seem like a good idea to get back in touch with an ex to learn why things didn't work out,’ he said, ‘However, by getting back in touch, it is igniting those feelings of love and lust from the past, which could stop you from feeling able to dissociate from that relationship and move on.’
Click through to see Ariana's full relationship history...
Ariana Grande's relationship timeline: Her complete dating history SLIDER heat
1 of 8Ariana Grande and Graham Phillips (2008-2011)
Ariana and Graham met at 15 years old when they were both starring in the Broadway production of 13: The Musical. They dated for three years and released a song called Stick Around together in 2010. Ari continued the trend of duetting with partners later in her career, but more on that later.Is he on thank u, next? Nah, mate.
2 of 8Ariana Grande and Jai Brooks (2012-2014)
Ariana dated Jai Brooks - a member of Australian prank-pop band The Janoskians - between 2012 and 2014. Things didn't end on good terms, though; as Jai accused Ariana of cheating on him with The Wanted's Nathan Sykes very publicly on Twitter. Ariana denied the claims, before the pair briefly got back together for a couple of months in 2014.Is he on thank u, next? Nope.
3 of 8Ariana Grande and Nathan Sykes (2014)
Following that Jai Brooks drama, Ari and Nathan got together as they collaborated on the track Almost is Never Enough; taken from her debut album. The pair split just months later, with many reports claiming Ari wrote Break Your Heart Right Back about the split.The pair are still on good terms and released a second duet - Over and Over Again - in 2016.Is he on thank u, next? No, but he's fine with it. In an interview with TMZ Nathan explained it's 'good' he didn't get a mention, whatever that means.
4 of 8Ariana Grande and Big Sean (2014-2015)
Ariana and Big Sean made their public debut on the GRAMMY red carpet in 2015. Much like Nathan and Ari, the pair have two duets together; 2013's Right There and 2014's Best Mistake. The couple reportedly split due to busy schedules, but they remain 'good friends' and Ari confirmed he heard thank u, next ahead of its release.Is he on thank u, next? Yep, the opening line 'thought I'd end up with Sean, but it wasn't a match' is about him.
5 of 8Ariana Grande and Ricky Alvarez (2015-2016)
Following her split from Big Sean Ariana dated one of her dancers, Ricky Alvarez, for a year. He's the guy she's hanging out with in that infamous doughnut shop video, remember? Neither party have explained the cause of the split, but they remain on good terms.Is he on thank u, next? Yup. The line 'wrote some songs about Ricky, now I listen and laugh' refers to many tracks on her 2016 album Dangerous Woman; including Knew Better/Forever Boy. He's cool with it, though; taking to his Instagram story to praise both Ariana and the track.
6 of 8Ariana Grande and Mac Miller (2016-2018)
Ariana dated the late Mac Miller (real name Malcolm McCormick) from 2016-2018. The pair originally collaborated on her debut single The Way back in 2013 and released another track - My Favourite Part - in 2016. Mac famously supported Ariana at her One Love Manchester concert in 2017 following the Manchester Arena terror attack and split earlier this year after she debuted No Tears Left to Cry at Coachella.Mac tragically passed away on 7th September 2018, and Ariana has since paid tribute to the rapper.Is he on thank u, next? Ariana describes Mac as an 'angel' on the track in a fitting tribute to the late star.
7 of 8Ariana Grande and Pete Davidson (2018)
Ariana and SNL comedian Pete Davidson proved the whirlwind romance of 2018. Just weeks after getting together, the pair announced their engagement in June 2018. The pair split in October 2018 but remain on good terms.Pete addressed their break-up on SNL, saying: "The truth is, it's nobody's business. Sometimes things just don't work out. She's a wonderful strong person and I wish her all the happiness in the world."Is he on thank u, next? Yep. 'Even almost got married, and for Pete I'm so thankful' is obviously about their whirlwind romance.
8 of 8Herself. YAAAS.
In thank u, next Ariana serves some unapologetic feminism as she claims she's now in a relationship with herself. YAS, queen.
However, in a world where we tend to see our exes strewn across our social media feeds, viewing our Instagram stories and even seeing they’re activity on accounts we don’t even follow online that pushes us towards the need to contact an ex. ‘Just seeing your ex’s name or a familiar situation that you associate with them will lead your brain to elicit dopamine,’ he continued, ‘which is what gives you the "need" to contact an ex.’
And it’s not just a case of blocking your ex or muting their online profiles, because actually, Karahassan says, social media in general is forcing us to need validation in every area of our lives. It’s why even after a brief fling or casual date that didn’t go anywhere, some people feel the need to contact you to find out what went wrong. Essentially, the way in which we now treat dating as if it’s a career, conducting exit interviews and requiring feedback is an indicator of just how needy we’ve become from posting our lives online.
‘We are used to getting validation through social media, whether that is likes on Facebook, followers on Instagram or retweets on Twitter,’ he says, ‘Therefore the act of sex or a date is no longer enough. Many feel the need to be praised and validated by others. In the past, you would only get validation from a handful of people. Now we have the whole world to give it to us through social media. This has had a knock-on effect to the way we seek validation - not just online but throughout our lives.’
Of course, that’s not to say that Ariana – or any of us, for that matter – are seeking validation. She, and we, could genuinely want to reconnect and understand how we may have harmed others. However, it’s worth asking – if you’re ever on the verge of messaging an ex to find out what they really thought about your break-up, or asking a Tinder date why they ghosted you – what, and who, are you really doing it for?