Can You Ever Blame A Man’s Friends For Him Cheating?

This season of Made in Chelsea has seen some serious drama. From interrupted proposals, to friendship fallouts and unlikely couples, it’s been one of the most chaotic yet. The most talked about of all? Harvey Armstrong and Emily Blackwell’s breakup.

ICYMI, Harvey was revealed to have cheated on Emily after a big night out at Raffles earlier this year, with the pair breaking up after Harvey admitted his misdemeanour to Tristan Phipps. Tristan went on to tell Reza Amiri-Garroussi, who told his girlfriend Ruby Adler and naturally the news quickly got back to Emily.

But that’s not where the drama lies now. Oh no – the biggest debate came after Gareth Locke-Locke encouraged Harvey to think about who he surrounds himself with, stating that Tristan and Rez aren’t the best influences on him. What ensued was a major argument about whether or not Harvey’s friends should bear any blame for his reckless behaviour.

While much of Twitter appears to agree with Gareth, Tristan and Rez don’t seem to think they’ve done anything wrong. Defending their position, the pair told Gareth they had no idea Harvey was acting inappropriately on their night out and aren’t responsible for his behaviour. Logically, you would have to agree – no one is to blame for Harvey cheating but himself.

But of course, so many women have been in an uncomfortable position with their partner's friends knowing how deep ‘lad banter’ and the culture surrounding it goes. We’ve heard the ‘ball and chain’ jokes, we’ve seen the way men celebrate when they can get their partnered friend out on the lash for a messy night out and most importantly, we know how men protect each other at all costs - Rez himself agreed he wouldn’t tell Emily if Harvey had cheated.

So there’s no wonder some might take issue with their partner's friends encouraging certain laddish behaviour or not holding their friend accountable when they overstep the line – that seems to be the issue Gareth has at least. And there’s validity in that, in questioning whether the people around you have your best interests at heart, and your long-term happiness, as opposed to their short-term fun night out.

But the issue is, it’s Harvey who made the decision to cheat and went on to lie about it. Ultimately, whether Tristan and Rez are good influences on Harvey is irrelevant, he chose to risk his relationship knowing how it would hurt his partner. It’s more nuanced than blaming one party then, because we can agree that certain men’s friends might not bring the best out of them while also acknowledging they themselves are responsible for their behaviour – but what we can’t do is excuse one man cheating in the name of ‘bad influences’.