Granted, Carrie Bradshaw has never had exemplary taste in men. In fact, she has a knack for dating some of the most toxic, pretentious and emotionally unavailable men in New York City. The exception, or so they’d have us believe, has always been floppy-haired ‘nice guy’ Aidan Shaw. But halfway into season three of And Just Like That and loyal fans remain entirely unconvinced.
Whether he’s nonchalantly lobbing stones through the vintage windows of her multi-million-dollar town house – the one she sold her beloved apartment to buy to accommodate his three sons, only to be told he was putting their relationship on a five-year pause – or simply wearing a waxed trial master jacket, Aidan is not to be trusted.
At 6"5, he has the leg span to always have one foot in Carrie’s life (even if via ‘romantic’ blank postcards or waking her up for unsolicited phone sex) and another kicking up the dirt in his Norfolk, Virginia sprawl while pretending to be a passionate parent. We’re tired of it, Aidan – and we don’t buy it either. Unlike your Steves or your Harrys, Aidan presents as a ‘nice guy’ whilst persistently refusing to see Carrie for who she truly is. Is there any greater crime in a romantic relationship? We think not.
Without further ado, here are the endless icks of Aidan Shaw…
The faux 'nice guy' act
It's best to kick off with the most obvious one: Aidan has a way of framing himself as a victim. Whether repairing a window he smashed, complaining that Carrie isn't closer with his children but taking exactly zero steps to help them bond, or taking her back after the Big cheating scandal and punishing her eternally, Aidan always wants us to feel sorry for him. He's a giant cocker spaniel of a man that wants us to keep throwing him bones.
The infamous waxed jacket
Imagine you decide to go out on a limb and meet up with your long-lost ex and he turns the corner in a cinched in, waxed hunting jacket with enough pockets to house a pistol and back-up bullets. Aidan's comeback outfit in season two of AJLT became a bigger cultural talking point than the reunion itself. As Rachel Handler wrote for Vulture, 'What in the f**k is Aidan wearing??? [...] Is this technically a safari jacket, and if so, is the safari going to the Matrix? Did it belong to a gay Confederate soldier? Is it Criss Angel for Zara?'
He hides behind his 'good dad' image
After rekindling with Carrie, Aidan was too anxious to sleep in, let alone visit, her apartment because of the memories of their past relationship. He therefore persuaded her to find somewhere new so that they could have a fresh start and his children could be more incorporated into their relationship. As soon as she did that he decided he needed to prioritise his children – one of whom was in a crisis – and did not invite her to join him, leaving her with an empty family mansion. He compartmentalises his life to the extent that the one time Carrie was allowed to stay at his home in Norfolk she was exiled to the guest house, and as soon as she saw said family crisis in action she was told it would be best not to come back.
He is a hypocrite
On that note, legacy fans will remember Aidan was always the first to whinge and moan about Carrie not having enough time for him. Cut to AJLT and he's casually asking her to wait for him for FIVE YEARS.
The vigorous pre-wank hand lick
It would be remiss not to mention one of the most standout moments of season three so far – Carrie and Aidan’s phone sex. Not only did Aidan break their ‘no contact’ rule because he was feeling horny and had a few beers, but he allowed for approximately zero minutes of foreplay or vibe checks, licked his hand like a dog, then finished in about 10 seconds without realising Carrie had barely started. Ick.
Throwing a stone through an irreplaceable window
You’d have thought a furniture designer, someone intimately acquainted with textiles and materials, would know lobbing a stone through an expensive front-facing window is not a wise idea. Apparently not. In trying to be romantic, Aidan cost Carrie a pane of glass that can never be perfectly replaced, and then proceeded to spend hours fixating over his mistake. Why? Because he felt guilty about sleeping with his ex-wife in a moment of shared mania over their son while still (in his mind) committed to Carrie. She handled the news well (for now), with no thanks to him whatsoever.
He cheated on his wife with Carrie when she was at home with their infant children
While we're on the topic of this messy love triangle, lest we forget the lesser known (or better forgotten) second Sex and the City film, where Carrie and Aidan bump into each other in Abu Dhabi whilst both married to other people. Given that this was in 2010, Aidan’s ex-wife Kathy was probably looking after their three infant sons at home while he was asking his married ex-girlfriend out for dinner, telling her she’s ‘not like other women’ and then kissing her. See: previous faux good dad image.
He's always trying to change Carrie
It’s no secret that Carrie is a ludicrously self-indulgent, hyper-romantic, whimsy sort of character. We’ve all seen her hats, for crying out loud. She likes what she likes, she is who she is. Carrie's personality divides the internet to this day. But is it not the job of your partner to, at the very least, accept you for who you are? Aidan can’t seem to do that. Whether he’s forcing her to stop smoking (a core facet of her personality) and passive aggressively whacking nicotine patches on her arm, or encouraging her to wear floral gowns from a local boutique and ride tractors around his garden, he wants her to be someone she's not.
He gaslights Carrie
We all know Carrie is not guilt-free in this union. She cheated on Aidan with Big (after they had been dating for two months) and even after they got back together she insisted on keeping Big in her life and even invited him to Aidan's cabin, which most people would not be cool with, but this was ultimately Aidan's cross to bear. He is the one who took her back and wanted to rush into lifelong commitment. He then became possessive and pushy and punished her at every available opportunity.
He opened a bar with her best friend's boyfriend after their break up
Before Carrie and Aidan got back together (the first time), he decided to start a business and open a bar with Miranda's boyfriend, Steve, making their lives intimately and inconveniently intertwined. This was a lowkey (or high key) manipulative move to stay in Carrie's orbit. As Grazia's senior editor Ruchira Sharma said of this undeniable ick: 'This by far is the worst thing to have ever happened to anyone after a breakup.’
He judged her for having an abortion
Once they were back together, Carrie confided in Aidan about Miranda being pregnant and that she was considering getting an abortion. When he asked her if she’d ever had one, she lied and said she hadn't and Aidan was visibly relieved. She later told him she did in fact have one after a one night stand when she was 22, but it's a huge ick that he cast any sort of judgement over this topic in the first place. No wonder Carrie felt unsafe to be honest.
Pear-shaped engagement ring gate
Speaking of not understanding your partner, in season four, after being told from the horse's mouth she wasn't ready, Aidan pressed on with his plans to propose to Carrie with a turquoise, pear-shaped stone on a gold band. This might not seem like the worst of his crimes, but this is Carrie we're talking about, and when she saw the ring she literally threw up. There is a reason a lot of people seek months of counsel before buying ‘the ring’ or opt to design/ choose one together if they're unsure. As Dua Lipa said: ‘It's nice to know the person that you're going to spend the rest of your life with knows you very well.’ Aidan could never.
His dog ate her shoes
Sometimes the ick extends to pets. So vast and wide-reaching are Aidan's icks that we had to include his dog, Pete. At the end of season four, unbeknownst to his master, Pete ate Carrie's blue-soled Manolo Blahnik sandals and Aidan tried to play it off as no big deal. Let's just say they broke up two episodes later.
He's a perpetual time waster
If you ask us, it didn't work the first or second time or when they kissed in Abu Dhabi for a reason. Sure, their ludicrous height difference and opposing interests seem to provide a healthy dose of sexual chemistry, but Carrie and Aidan are not a good match for each other. He wants to chop logs in the woods and she wears six inch heels to walk around her own house. As the most recent episode of AJLT teaches us, when Carrie and Miranda lock horns about whether Carrie was flirting with her downstairs neighbour, Aidan is living rent free in her head and adding nothing but stress to her life. It's time to oust him once and for all.
Nikki Peach is a writer at Grazia UK, working across entertainment, TV and news. She has also written for the i, i-D and the New Statesman Media Group and covers all things pop culture for Grazia (treating high and lowbrow with equal respect).