Last week, a survey from the technology newsletter The Hustle found that respondents spend about £335 a year online while drunk. This is no surprise to me whatsoever because, honestly, what could be more fun than hitting the virtual shops after two margaritas? Absolutely everything seems like a brilliant idea and money is no object.
Pre-internet, we were pretty limited as to what we could spend while really pissed – but now, with modern technology, the sky’s the limit. The Americans do it best. Another recent survey found that they spent an average of $448 (£339) per person on drunk purchases in 2017 – double what they spent in 2016. Generation X spent the most while on the razz, averaging $738 last year – more than triple the spend ($206) of Millennials. Industry experts reckon the US drunk-shopping industry alone is worth $50bn – though how you can get any accurate information out of a bunch of drunks is beyond me.
Alison Loehnis, president of luxury fashion giants Mr Porter and Net-A-Porter (my number one drunk-shopping paradise), has in the past confirmed that the evening is one of their busiest times. ‘It’s that kick-back moment at 9pm when we notice a big surge in sales,’ she said. Surely she was being polite – because we all know that ‘kick-back’ means ‘throw back’ (of wine, that is). Indeed, The Hustle survey notes that some retailers are actively trying to capitalise on this surge by offering late-night flash sales.
I reckon I make my most brilliant decisions online after one-and-a-half glasses of something very cold and white. Had I not been tipsy in front of my laptop, I would not now own a £350 check blazer from Rag & Bone, a £289 pair of wireless Bose headphones or a £180 black Ganni cocktail dress – all of which I wear all the time. Let’s just forget about that time I bought 500 plastic syringes after my daughter was born because I didn’t like the ones supplied with medicine bottles. And those horrendous cutwork stripper heels and that absolutely hideous boiled wool dress. (The stripper shoes and the dress were both returned; I’ve still got the syringes, if anyone wants one? Or 10?)
It’s a pastime that even has its own Instagram hashtags – #drunkpurchase (3,000-plus posts) and #drunkshopping (10.5k posts). A survey of my own friends reveals that Katie Wright (@wrightdawe) accidentally bid £9,000 on eBay for a £40 sold-out Zara top; luckily, the next highest bidder was only at £100, so in the end she paid £101. ‘It was a fit of drunken panic, 10 seconds before the end of the auction,’ she says. ‘I really wanted that top, though. And I still love it.’
Then there was Kat (@kat_shawl), who bought a £150 wedding dress from H&M – she’s already married but she thought it would look cool on the school run. ‘It had to go back but I still laugh thinking about it,’ she says. Perhaps the best part of drunk shopping, though, is that you forget what you’ve bought, so when it arrives, it’s like a miraculous gift from your drunk self. Now top me up...
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