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Season 3 of Succession is finally here and we’re already obsessed in a million different ways. Logan’s holed up in a Sarajevo hotel trying to avoid getting the shits (Bosnia being one of the countries in the world that doesn’t have an extradition treaty with the US),Shiv trying and failing to get her close personal friend and hot-shot lawyer of the moment Lisa Arthur to represent Logan, only to discover that for once her brother Kendall got in there first and secured a meeting with her himself, Greg temporarily overseeing Kendall’s media monitoring ’The Pope followed you. No, it’s a Pope, not the Pope.’
But, BUT, the absolutely golden moments of the episode all entered around everyone’s favourite couple, Roman Roy - Logan’s youngest son, played by Kieran Culkin, and Gerri Kellman, Waystar Royco’s Chief Counsel and ultimate inside woman, played by the sublime J Smith-Cameron. Despite a 30-year age gap, and the fact that Gerri will presumably have watched Logan Roy’s troubled but spoilt brat of a son grow up, the pair’s off-the-charts sexual chemistry and mutual support of each other in what’s otherwise a nest of vipers have made the evolution of their relationship one of the most compelling couplings in recent TV history.
If you need any more convincing, here some of our favourite Gerri and Roman moments from the last three seasons
1. When Gerri gave Roman advice on earning his father’s respect.
After yet another humiliation at the hands of his father, Roman turns to Gerri for advice. She suggests he goes back to basics and joins the Waystar Management Programme, become more grounded, and learn the prices of a gallon of milk. To which Roman responds…
“What the fuck is this obsession with milk? You know who drinks milk? Kittens and perverts.”
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2. The one where Gerri finds out she’s the acting CEO of Waystar Royco, in a hotel room with Roman
3. When you realised that Gerri and Roman have been secretly plotting in the background THIS WHOLE TIME
4. When Roman rang Logan and backed Gerri for CEO (but only if Logan didn’t pick him)
5. When Gerri buttoned up Roman’s shirt in on the of sexiest moments on TV evrrrrrr
6. When Roman rang Gerri up for phone sex and got more than he bargained for
Gerri: You're acting like an over-excited little boy.
Roman: You know, technically, I'm your fuckin' boss.
Gerri: Got to bed, Roman. Go to bed and masturbate all your ideas out, and let's see how excited you feel tomorrow.
Roman: Well, maybe I will. Maybe I'll just leave you on the pillow so you can hear my brilliance cascading.
Gerri: Fine. I've heard plenty more than a spoiled brat ejaculating on himself.
Roman: Oh yeah? You sure about that? I could be doing it now for all you know.
Gerri: Well get going. Chop chop. [listens] You disgusting little pig. You're pathetic. You are a revolting little worm, aren't you?
Roman: Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I am. [groans]
Gerri: You little slime puppy.
Roman: What else am I?
Gerri: You're revolting, Roman.
Roman: Yes! Yeah!
7. When Roman turned up at Gerri’s hotel room door and they both got more than they bargained for
In short, Roman masturbated in Gerri’s hotel bathroom while she stood at the door and talked dirty to him. It wasn’t necessarily the direction we saw Gerri and Roman’s relationship developing when we met them in season 1, episode 1, but it felt kind of right for those star-crossed lovers.