Getting back with an ex, whether it be for one night or forever, almost feels like a rite of passage. There’s a reason it’s the subject of so many songs, TV plots and real-life love stories. Of course, the lives of the chaotic cast of Made in Chelsea are no different.
Series 27 kicked off on Monday night and featured more than a few familiar themes. Sam Prince and Yas Zweegers face cheating rumours, Maeva D’Ascanio is repulsed by her new husband James Taylor, and Ruby Adler and Rez Amiri-Garroussi may or may not be getting back together.
After ten years of being on again, off again, the exes have started flirting, kissing and sleeping together in secret. Being stars on one of the longest running reality shows in the UK, it’s now not so secret anymore. While this is ultimately their business, whether they like it or not, their behaviour does impact their close friends, which is something we saw play out in the first episode.
While Rez’s friends were encouraging him to confess his love for Ruby before someone else comes and sweeps her off her feet, Ruby’s friends have reservations, including Emily Blackwell, arguably the most rational and level-headed person on the show, being the chief sceptic.
Ruby, 28, and Rez’s, 37, secret rendezvous first came to light during the winter series of Made in Chelsea: Sydney, which Emily did not feature in. So when the cast returned to London, Emily expressed that she missed her close friendship with Ruby and felt out of the loop. It turns out that Ruby and Rez had even kissed at James and Maeva’s wedding in December, which Emily attended, but she didn't realise.
This is a complex issue in any friendship – it’s fair for Ruby to avoid telling people who she knows will discourage and likely judge her behaviour, and it’s understandable that Emily would be hurt to find out something significant is happening in her friend’s life without her knowing.
It therefore came to a head at Lauren Sintas’ birthday party when Emily approached Ruby to say she missed her and to ask what was happening with Rez, pointing out that ‘friends don’t kiss’ when Ruby maintained that her and Rez are 'done' and that there's 'nothing romantic there'. Ruby was then on the defence and said she didn’t want to confide in someone she knew would judge her, and that she’s entitled to kiss whoever she wants.
It wasn’t an argument that anyone could win, but the bottom line is that real friends always have your best interests at heart and are sometimes the only people to hold a mirror up to your actions and make sure you’re knowingly entering a situation that has repeatedly made you unhappy in the past. Emily has been there for Ruby through the highs and lows of her relationship with Rez – something Ruby herself referenced as the reason they shouldn’t end up together ‘because they’ve tried so many times before and it’s never worked’.
As Kensington Osmond, a marriage and family therapist, divorce counsellor, and breakup therapist at Growing Self has said: 'Losing an important relationship naturally triggers grief, and a normal part of the grieving process is questioning whether ending the relationship is really the right choice for you.
'These feelings can be especially confusing when the relationship was toxic or just not entirely positive, as rationally, you likely know that the breakup was for the best. You can be addicted to a toxic relationship, or an unhealthy one, and powerful attachment bonds will keep you missing your ex, despite what you know rationally.'
From what we saw of the confrontation, Emily tried to approach the situation from a place of care having seen firsthand how toxic Ruby and Rez's relationship was in the past. As a good friend, she will ultimately have to support Ruby in whatever choice she makes, but Ruby would be unwise to completely push away someone who only wants the best for her. And if history is anything to go by, that doesn’t include Rez.