Love Island: Why Do Men Only Want You When They See You As Another Man’s Property?

It seems like on every episode of Love Island this year, there’s a new theme of toxic male behaviour. Last night's? Men only wanting you when they see you as another man’s property… oh romance.

It started with Toby Aromolaran, who admitted that his feelings for Chloe Burrows returned when he saw she had recoupled with Dale Mehmet after returning from Casa Amor. It was the plot-twist of the season – who thought anyone could top Liam Reardon cheating on Millie Court? – as viewers had previously been convinced Toby was choosing between Abigail Rawlings and Mary Bedford.

Honestly, Toby has become quite the endearing villain of the series – with fans convinced that he is simply too chaotic to mean any actual harm to the women he’s messing about. But the fact remains, he only seems to want women when he can’t have them – notably, when he’s jealous that another man might swoop in on them.

The theme continued with Tyler Cruickshank, who also brazenly acknowledged that he did not like seeing Kaz Kamwi with new guy Matthew MacNabb and thus began his attempts at grating both her and his Casa Amor partner Clarisse Juliette.

Yes, we have just reeled off an entire class register of names all adjacent to only TWO men in the villa. This season might as well be named Orgy Island.

What’s telling about both Toby and Tyler’s behaviour in the villa is that while they might believe their feelings for Chloe and Kaz are real, they clearly do not stem from a place of actual love and respect. Rather, the respect of the men in the villa that they believe to have ‘stolen’ their women.

When men only ‘realise’ they want you because you’re with someone else, it’s not about ‘you only know what you’ve got when it’s gone’, as Chloe Burrows stated. If that were true, Tyler and Toby would’ve realised their feelings a lot sooner, given they had zero communication with both women for a good four days while they were at Casa Amor. It’s not even just about wanting what they can’t have, although that clearly plays a role in the thrill and ego of it all.

In actuality, it’s about men seeing women as objects – property owned by either a father or boyfriend – and thus feeling insecure when another man has taken a prize they feel they should own. It’s toxic masculinity 101, and it’s something so many women are familiar with.

We’ve all had that one annoying ex that seems to pop up every time you move on with someone new, or the f*ckboy that checks in every few months to remind you he exists – I swear men’s brains reset with each financial quarter – and that yes, he is raring and ready to gaslight you all over again with the swift reply of an Instagram DM.

Men like that don’t actually value what you had together, rather they fear losing their power of your emotions and thus the control they have to keep you in their life in whatever manner they please. Seeing you with another men then, not only strikes jealousy that they’ve lost their shiny little toy, but that they may no longer be able to use you for whatever needs you filled – from stroking their ego to sexual desires.

Ultimately, if Tyler and Toby were serious about Kaz and Chloe, they would have ‘realised’ said feelings a lot sooner, preferably before another man was involved. They both expected the women to pine for them, and instead they’ve been played for fools by realising they’re just as replaceable to the women as they were to them. Unfortunately, it appears both Chloe and Kaz may still fall foul to the whims of these beautiful but unhinged men – but here’s hoping for a last minute swoop by the other Casa Amor boys, we’re rooting for Irish Matthew most…

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