It’s the romance that launched a thousand tweets, when Toby Aromolaran and Chloe Burrows’ recoupled last night and they immediately got hot and heavy under the duvet that evening. Not for the first time either, we were treated to more kissing sounds than we needed the night before and to be honest, a whole lot of PDA ever since Chloe Megan-Barton-Hansoned Toby right from Kaz Kamwi.
Of course, they’re allowed to get as frisky as they want, that’s not the issue. In fact, it’s about time we saw some actual physical chemistry on Love Island after two weeks of very lacklustre couplings. The problem is though, it’s proving a very depressing point about the way men behave. Depressing, but enlightening all the same.
Viewers picked up on it last night, noting the extreme difference in Toby’s physical affection and effort towards his new relationship compared to when he was coupled up with Kaz. For two weeks we’ve watched him avoid contact with her, sleeping as far apart as possible and only kissing her once outside of a challenge.
At the same time, he was telling her that he was in it 100%, clearly hoping a physical connection would develop. It’s why Kaz was so taken aback by his new crush on Chloe, and why Love Island viewers aren’t exactly the biggest fans of the new couple.
Because what Toby’s actions prove is something anyone who dates men needs to learn: when it comes to making an effort with you, if they want to, they will.
It sounds simple, but it’s a phrase women often find themselves repeating when they – or their friends – are dating someone that’s not matching their energy. They might be telling you they’re ‘really into it’, they might be acting as though they are when you’re together, but as soon as you’re not it’s another story. Effort levels drop, the relationship begins to feel one-sided, and you’re left questioning what changed, why they don’t seem to care as much as you and whether it’s something you’ve done.
When you’re having to convince yourself a man actually does like you, it’s time to move on.
Kaz is living proof that it never is. She’s beautiful, bright and looks to be everyone’s best friend in the villa – her value as fun, loving and loyal partner is clear. Her and Toby just aren’t very compatible, and that doesn’t diminish either of their worth as a potential partner. But what it does show, is that when you’re having to force it with someone or convince yourself they like you, when you’re making excuses for their lack of effort or bad behaviour, it’s time to move on.
Toby’s tactile nature with Chloe may be a lot to do with how forward she is, but there’s no doubt that he is making a stronger effort with her than he ever did with Kaz. Because before he didn’t want to, and now he clearly does. There goes the saying again: If he wanted to, he would.
So, while it’s sad to see our favourite Islander being mistreated in the villa, Kaz’s experience is certainly teaching all of us a very valuable lesson in dating – or at least, reminding us of what we should be taking into every romantic experience. That we should never settle… because there’s a ‘hopeless romant’ out there willing to cut melon into the shape of your initials, and isn’t that just loves young dream?
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