Oh Tanyel, sweet, adorable Tanyel. How we wish your quest for love was as prioritised as certain other Islanders'. Just last week the 26-year-old saw her only crush move swiftly on after an argument out of nowhere, and her new potential bae booted from the villa in order to keep said ex-crush around as he’d begun chatting to fellow Islander Olivia Hawkins. How did Olivia respond to this act of kindness? With some suspect digs about Tanyel’s authenticity and friendship with villain of the week, Ron Hall.
Allow us to explain if you’re yet to catch up (and we wouldn’t blame you, this season is a hard one to keep on top of). Tanyel and Ron expressed some interest in each other in early episodes but that was quickly quashed by their relative crushes on other people. Now they’re ‘best friends’, with Ron saving Tanyel from eviction from the villa last week.
Their friendship is sweet to watch, and one of the only examples of respectful love we’ve seen in the villa this year. Now, it is borderline flirty (and some viewers are hoping they might rekindle something), but so far, it’s all been above board and respectful. In fact, Tanyel even confirmed last week that if she had to choose sides between Ron and female best friend Lana, she’s firmly team Lana.
Despite that, Olivia has been making comments about them – suspicious comments, pulling Lana to one side to express that the ‘entire villa’ finds their friendship weird. What is the purpose of this? No one really understands, and Tanyel essentially told Olivia to respectfully stay out of her business in the most recent episode.
Of course, the drama itself has caused rife debate online, resurfacing a debacle as old as time: can men and women really be best friends? Olivia noted that she’s had issues with boys in the past and their ‘female best friends’, and it seems people are divided into two camps: those who’ve had their boyfriend cheat on them with the female best friend, and the female best friend.
Personally, I’m in neither. I’ve never had a male best friend, nor a man who’s cheated on me with one – which is perhaps why I feel I can be objective on this.
When I think about male to female friendships, there’s a divide between logic and emotion. Men and women have platonic relationships all the time, whether professional, familial or social. To deny that is frankly ludicrous, and ignores the fact that not all women are attracted to men, nor the other way round. To assume that all men and women are attracted to each other is ignorant, and it perpetuates harmful narratives about men’s ability to respect boundaries by implying they are naturally overcome with attraction.
As a woman who dates men and women, I’d be very concerned if my male partner wasn’t able to maintain platonic relationships with women. I certainly can, despite my attraction to them. You'd have to ask yourself, what does that mean for his ability to respect women he doesn’t find attractive? How does he then respond when women he does find attractive want platonic relationships with him? If you don’t believe men and women can be friends, you’re left in a situation where your male partner simply cannot be around other women without you assuming they’ll develop romantic feelings – and who wants to live like that?
Of course, I have sympathy for the countless women who have been cheated on by their partners with female friends. You only need scroll through TikTok to see the endless video examples of these scenarios. It seems to hurt more when it’s a woman you knew, a relationship you witnessed often, and especially if you felt insecure about the friendship and were gaslit into thinking otherwise.
Ultimately, those instances of people harming others by cheating are what drives this notion that men and women can’t be friends. Perhaps with that in mind it’s unfair to judge Olivia for being cautious of Ron and Tanyel, but equally unfair of her to assume malice on Tanyel or Ron’s part by implying that their friendship isn’t appropriate. Whether they were to come to date or not, that doesn’t mean they wouldn’t go about it in a respectful way before embarking on a relationship. More than that, viewers actually seem to want them together – noting Ron treats Tanyel with more respect than half of his potential romantic partners.
Whether or not we’ll see their friendship blossom into more remains to be seen, but until then – let’s not judge them too soon, nor let Tanyel become a villain simply for engaging in a friendship with men and women. We should love what they represent together, not tear them apart.