Nothing excites our nostalgic hearts more than a noughties MTV reality show making its way to Netflix. The most recent show to return to the small screen? Laguna Beach, the 2004 teen drama that followed eight teenagers from the small coastal town in Orange County – in particular, the love triangle between lead stars Lauren Conrad, Kristin Cavallari, and Stephen Coletti. It was of course inspired by fictional teen smash of the moment, The OC – but Laguna Beach had a cult following of its own.
If you’re Y2K-trauma-blocked brain needs a reminder, as narrator of the show Lauren Conrad (otherwise known as LC) was the queen of Laguna Beach and went on to star in The Hills, using her reality TV fame to launch a successful career in fashion and publishing. Nowadays, Lauren, 36, has her own clothing line, a non-profit online store called The Little Market and she’s published nine books.
As a fan of Laguna Beach and The Hills at the time, Lauren’s catapultian to success was unsurprising. She was one of the few reality stars from that era that managed to maintain a sweetheart reputation through years of filming (and crucially, MTV editing). People either wanted to be her, or be best friend. But watching the show back now? You’d be surprised to realise she’s actually the real 'villain' of the series.
You only need listen to Lauren’s introduction of the cast of characters for proof, particularly when it comes to Kristin and Stephen. ‘That, that would be Kristin, another junior,’ Lauren narrates as clips of Kristin in a bikini appear on screen. ‘Wherever Kristin went [this year], drama followed. She thinks she’s hot. Okay, I guess she is, but she can’t stand me.
‘Here’s the reason why… Stephen,’ Lauren continues. ‘I guess he’s kind of her boyfriend, but Stephen and I have been really close forever and we’re even going to college together in San Francisco. Kristin’s the wrong girl for him, I’m just waiting for him to figure it out. Oh, and me? I’m Lauren, my friends call me LC, I’ve always been the nice girl but this year I realised sometimes you just have to go after what you want.’
Honestly, from a reality TV drama perspective? Chef's kiss. Those producers really outdid themselves with that script about a bunch of feuding teenagers (Lauren has confirmed all of her narrations were scripted), but listening to it now? You’d be forgiven for cringing into your seat.
That little introduction sets the scene for the entire show, and the themes of misogyny and ‘pick me’ behaviour from Lauren do not subside. We’re apparently meant to be on her side, hoping she ends up with Stephen despite the fact he has a girlfriend – who, unsurprisingly, often acts out due to insecurities and cheating rumours – and makes sexist comparisons between LC and Kristin all the time.
In one episode, Stephen explains his predicament. ‘Kristin’s a really good girl to hook up with and have fun with, that’s why I’m so amped on her because we can have so much fun,’ he tells his friends. ‘But coming down to like the boyfriend and girlfriend stuff, Lauren would be a better girl.’
Throughout the show, Lauren and Kristin are pitted against each other, producers homing in on any bitching sessions or sexist insults. Of course, Kristin and LC are just teens in their first relationships doing what many of us did at that age, but it’s the way producers frame each girl that feels gross to watch back now. Lauren is the blonde-haired, blue-eyed darling that deserves Stephen because she daren’t misbehave or act promiscuously. Kristin, on the other hand? She’s the crazy, dramatic girlfriend that Stephen should leave because she dares to play him at his own game by flirting with other boys.
The show is, very obviously, edited to the nth degree – scenes are often cut haphazardly together and sly remarks dubbed over characters with much less sophistication than we see on today’s reality TV. But knowing I watched this as a tween, taking in every bit of drama as if it were real life? Lord only knows the slut-shaming and misogyny I internalised by believing Lauren was the hero Stephen deserved. In actual fact, Stephen deserves neither Lauren nor Kristin – perhaps he’s the real villain of all!
Although saying that, he too has since confirmed that the love triangle as we saw it on screen was mischaracterised, and there was never any actual crossover between Kristin and Lauren (in fact, both women agree that their schoolyard drama had pretty much ended by the time MTV cast them for the show, but producers heard of it from other teens and homed in on the storyline regardless).
Those little tidbits of info about the real drama behind the reality have all come from ‘Back To The Beach with Kristin and Stephen’, a podcast hosted by Laguna Beach co-stars Kristin Cavallari and Stephen Colletti where the pair watch back episodes of the show with a starring guest. In fact, Lauren only appeared on it back in November, and evidenced her intense evolution of character since being on the show by agreeing she was now Team Kristin too watching it back.
My biggest regret watching it is that I called Kristin a slut.
Lauren Conrad
‘I’m sorry to you,’ Lauren tells Kristin in the episode. ‘My biggest regret watching it, I called you a “slut”. I’m so sorry! I couldn’t believe I did that because where I’m at now I would never call another woman or girl that. For me it was the most embarrassing moment, I was like “Oh gross!”
‘Well thank you,’ Kristin replied. ’I called you a “slut” in a later episode and I was going to apologise to you too for the stuff that I said because I said some really dumb stuff. My thing is when I watch it now, I wasn’t confident at all I was actually so insecure and I took it out on you in a lot of ways, so I am sorry for that because I said some horrible things.
‘We weren’t great,’ the women agreed, laughing. ‘We really were not great.’
Oh women, how we grow and evolve even with the most hateful misogyny being thrown our way through life. Seeing Kristin and LC apologise after all these years, prove their teen flaws are long behind them and out MTV producers for the extensive editing of their lives? It’s the noughties nostalgia reward we all needed. They may not be the real villains of their story, but MTV certainly have a lot to answer for to when it comes to how they framed women (or rather, teens) throughout those reality TV glory years.