All your family and friends in one place. Wearing your finest and fairest and favourite creation. Committing to your beloved forever. What's not to love about a wedding?
Your first dance, that's what!
Whilst some couples throw themselves into it with gusto and enthusiasm – pulling off feats of coordination and rhythm – others find themselves shuffling awkwardly around the floor, bumping noses, treading on toes, and all the while wondering if three minutes has ever taken this effing long before...
It's little surprise, therefore, that a number of stories have emerged out of this socially awkward (though, strangely, accepted) wedding tradition.
From the groom that got the squitters, to the couple whose dance went dreadfully wrong – and the pair who opted for a first 'swim' instead – keep scrolling to read hilarious tales from the wedding dance floor...
The Groom Who Got The Squits
As told by the bride:
It's actually quite embarrassing. We told our band to do a tune – any tune, we didn't mind, I still have no idea what it was and we got married 4 years ago – and just before the dance, my husband disappeared.
When he came back, we started dancing and I asked him where he'd been. He confessed he'd been so nervous, he'd developed a dodgy tum and had just hotfooted it to the bathroom. We both started laughing hysterically – and that's the moment our favourite wedding photo was taken.
The Couple Whose Dance Routine Goes Very Wrong
As told by the groom:
I had always imagined I would do something crazy and choreographed for my first dance. But the only thing my wife-to-be and I didn't do well together is dance (I mean that in a non-conceited way – we are far from perfect). When we got engaged, I reached out to a friend of mine (conveniently, a winner of Strictly Come Dancing) and asked her to teach us some moves.
From her home in LA, she gave us some lessons over Skype. She sent us personally choreographed techniques she'd filmed with a dance partner, and even put us in touch with the UK's number one ballroom dancers in London, who gave us a three-hour lesson.
We rehearsed twice a-week, for the next four weeks, in our communal garden; a horrendous experience. My wife-to-be even took to the grass in her wedding shoes...
Then our big day arrived. I'm not going to lie I was more nervous about the dance than anything else. Our only problem was the 45-degree slope of the dance floor (it was in a marquee in a garden). Not to be put off, though, we steamrolled ahead anyway...
The crowd gathered, the cameras rolled and the music began. And then... on the first spin my wife slipped. Then she fell over. On the second spin, her heel got caught in her dress. For eight long seconds she hopped around trying to unhook it. Every move was choreographed to every second of the song, which meant that basically, from that moment on, we were screwed.
It wasn't till we (painfully) watched the video some time later that I got to hear the very real 'Oohs', 'Aaghs' and the 'OH NOs!' from the audience.
Moral of the story: don't over-complicate things. (And get a flat dance floor.)
The Couple Who Tried To Make It Better With Disney
As told by the bride:
My mum came up with a wholly unflattering description of my husband and I practising our wedding dance the night before, so our confidence wasn't at it highest. My sister – a singer/songwriter – even refused to sing the tune for us because she thought the very idea of us dancing was funny.
We ended up choosing the theme of Beauty and the Beast because we hoped others might like it and join in.
They didn't.
We did the whole thing on our own.
The Couple Who Went For A First Swim
As told by the bride...
Not only is my husband not a big dancer, but we've always thought of the first dance at weddings as being a bit awkward/cringy/cheesy. We did consider paying for someone to teach us a dance, but then we thought, actually it's our day, why should we pay for something we don't really want to do?!
So my husband suggested a 'wild swim' instead. I do a lot of wild swimming but my husband... not so much. It's a very clear sign of how much he didn't want to do a first dance...
We got married at my husband's parent's place, which has a river at the bottom of the field, next to where we put our marquee. It was a perfect swimming spot.
We didn't plan anything except that we were going to get in the river – because, well, we thought that was challenge enough at 10pm.
We had festoon lights and bunting strung between the trees across the river, and our guests lined the zigzag path that lead to it. I wore my fave Maaji bikini and my bridesmaids helped me clip up my hair (note: it was never the plan to get my hair or face wet). I had a different outfit to wear afterwards too, so I didn't have to bother with all the buttons on my wedding dress again.
We got in, paddled about, had a kiss and invited anyone to join us... not many takers!
It was pretty magical looking up at everyone from the water, but we didn't swim for long – after a while, it's a bit strange having all your guests watching you and your husband semi-naked in a river...
The Groom Who Got A Taylor Swift Dance Routine
As told by a bridesmaid:
My friend's husband was SO petrified at the idea of a first dance that he refused to do one at all.
Instead, the bride and her bridesmaids (of which, I was one) staged a surprise first dance. We organised a routine – to Taylor Swift's 'Shake It Off'. In the pictures, we looked rather wobbly... but surprisingly coordinated at the reception.
Piece of cake
The Bride Who Tried To Become A YouTube Sensation
As told by the bride:
I LOVE to dance and I am always the first on the dance floor (I was the Dance Captain at school). But when it came to my wedding, I suddenly felt a lot of pressure around the first dance – you know, I wanted it to be EPIC. Friends from school kept saying things like, ‘Ooh, I can’t wait to see your first dance!', and although I laughed it off, inside, I was freaking out. I just didn't want it to be a massive anticlimax.
So...
I came to the conclusion we should either go big or not at all. So we went big.
Remember the scene from 500 Days Of Summer with the Hall and Oates tune 'You Make My Dreams Come True'?
We copied it.
I roped in my siblings, best man and best friend to join us, convinced we were going to make it big on YouTube. I dreamed up the idea of my husband and I starting out being super awkward and then the others rushing in to participate in a 30-second routine.
Sounds all rather awkward now I am writing it down, but it was really fun. Sadly we never became a YouTube sensation – but that's probably because we never got round to posting it...
The Couple Who Left Their Song Up To Fate
As told by Grazia's News and Entertainment Editor, Joe Stone:
My friend got married last week and did a tombola to choose the first dance.
'Spice Up Your Life' won. I hashtagged it on Instagram #SpiceUpYourWife
The Couple Who Won't Do It At All
As revealed by the bride:
I'm not going to do it when I get married in September. Nothing, not even gooey, sparkly wedding love would make me (or my husband-to-be) consider it. Not ever. Never.
The Couples Who, In Spite Of Reading The Above, STILL Want To Do A Wedding Dance...
Well done you! You should go for it. But if you need a bit of help, check out our skinted and minted ways to impress below.
Skinted
Strictly Front Room is run by professional dance teacher Cathi Hessling. Cathi helps soon-to-be-weds compose dances to their favourite songs, from Rumba-ing to Michael Buble or grooving to Saturday Night Fever. Working with all dresses, dance floor sizes and, most importantly, dancers of all abilities (yes, tis true), Cathi can make your dream (dance) come true. All for £25 an hour. Bargain!
Minted
If you fancy splashing out... book a wedding at Claridges – one of London's most luxurious hotels. There you will be treated to an introductory dance session with award-winning professional ballroom and Latin dancer, Marius Caluser. Marius will guide you through a uniquely choreographed set, be it Foxtrot or Waltz, Tango or Rumba... any dance of your choosing. For a worry-free, stress-free first dance, it's a no brainer.
READ MORE: The stylish and most affordable high street bridesmaids dresses