As they prepare to become parents later this year, Too Hot to Handle stars Emily Miller and Cam Holmes have bravely opened up about their ‘rainbow baby’ and devastating ectopic pregnancy (which happened in June 2022) in an exclusive interview with The Juggle.
‘I’d never even heard of an ectopic pregnancy,’ Cam says. ‘I’ve learned so much about it because of Em.’
‘I hadn’t heard of it either,’ Emily says. ‘When [the doctors] were telling me, I was like, “Woah what is this?”’
Em, 29, required surgery for the ectopic pregnancy, leaving her with just one fallopian tube. ‘In terms of coping, we just took it day by day. Physically, it took a while to get over. It was very painful to do even some of the basic things - even going to the toilet was so painful for months. Mentally, I don’t know when the turning point was, there probably wasn’t one. We still talk about it now. It's not something that we just close the door on,’ she says.
For Cam, 27, blocking out the ‘what ifs’ is vital. ‘Thinking about what the baby might have been like is upsetting,’ he says. But he acknowledges that whilst it is a traumatising experience for women, men should not be afraid to open up about their feelings too.
He explains, ‘You were going to be a dad – you just lost a child. You should be allowed to speak about that and express how you're feeling. I stand very strong for men's mental health. There has to come a time when you ask the man, “How are you? How are you feeling about all this?”’ I would be there for Em as much as I could, but there were also times she would say, “How are you feeling?”’
Emily and Cam have been together for three years after meeting on the second season of Netflix’s dating show, Too Hot to Handle. Since then, their combined following on Instagram has soared to 3.4 million – and the internet was delighted come the new year when the couple announced they were going to be parents.
Em says, ‘This pregnancy came as a surprise which I just took as a sign - it's my rainbow baby. It was a miracle after having an ectopic pregnancy, as I never knew if I was going to get pregnant again. As soon as we got the all clear at the seven-week scan, we were able to be excited.’
She adds, ‘Before that, we were very on the edge, because [an ectopic pregnancy] could happen again. I was getting a few pains here and there, and it reminded me of the pains from before. It was a nerve-wracking time. But I’m just so happy that we are over that hurdle and I’m nearly halfway through my pregnancy now.’
After a tricky first trimester, Em - who is due in June - feels notably better now she’s in her second. ‘I have so much energy and I don’t feel sick anymore,’ she tells The Juggle. The couple are finding out the gender in a fortnight, but Em already has a sneaky suspicion, just based on some bodily changes.
She laughs, ‘I think I am leaning towards a boy. They obviously have testosterone - the hairs I'm getting on my chin and nipples, Oh my God! I’m like, “It must be a boy.”’
Meanwhile, Cam has been filling his brain with ‘dad pack’ content – funny videos of babies and dads – and learning the guitar before their arrival.
‘My Instagram algorithm is basically just babies, so I'm curating my own excitement. I'll show Em, “Look at this baby.” My excitement gets more and more as time goes on,’ he smiles.
A topic that often sparks debate: Will they share their new arrival on social media when the time comes? While they haven’t reached a final decision, they both have a stance.
‘I don’t think I have a problem with it,’ Em reveals. ‘People have watched our whole journey, and it would be a shame for them to not see our child.’
Cam considers, ‘I see some people that do it, and they get nothing but praise and approval, but I see other people that do it, and they get a lot of criticism and scrutiny. It’s going to be a field that we're going to have to navigate ourselves.’
Before they become parents to Baby Miller-Holmes in the summer, there are a few things Em and Cam would love to tick off – a safari for her 30th in April, a big push on his music and naturally, a baby shower.
But when quizzed on whether they could celebrate another milestone this year, in the form of a sparkler on Em’s fourth finger, she enlightens us about a push present – defined as ‘an item given to a new mum in recognition of the monumental job that is childbirth and to commemorate the entry into motherhood’.
‘We have been discussing push presents, so I’ve settled on an engagement ring for mine!’ Em teases (at which point Cam rushes to mention a premium box of chocolates instead).
Reflecting on their TV beginnings, he says, ‘I went on Too Hot to Handle not wanting to find a relationship. I was very happy being single. To think that I'm three years down the line with Em and we’re having a baby… that is actually wild. A lot of people have opinions on reality-based relationships, so it's kind of a “f*ck you”. We’re still together. And we're doing well.’
Emily's advice for dealing with an ectopic pregnancy
You need a good support network around you for sure, just to know that you’re not alone. Whilst it's not common it’s not completely rare either [in the UK, around 1 in every 90 pregnancies is ectopic]. Look at me, you can have a successful pregnancy afterwards. It’s such a horrific thing to happen to anyone, but we're human. We can get over things and learn from them. Everything’s always okay in the end, so I like to say. The worst thing to do is just bury it. We didn’t know how to deal with it, you figure it out as you go along. It’s one of those things you think is never going to happen to you.
Cam's advice for dealing with an ectopic pregnancy
Just be there for each other during the process. I made sure I was there as much as I could be for Em. You both essentially lost a child. Be there as much as much as you can for your partner and just help each other - talk and communicate. That's the main thing, because it's a devastating thing. You grow up thinking that when the right time to have a baby comes, ‘We'll just have a baby, everything will be okay.’ You shouldn't take pregnancy for granted. Not everyone is able to have a baby and some people are going to have complications. I think that's one of the things that was a real reality check. It's not as simple as you think is.
Millie Payne is a News and Entertainment Writer for Grazia. She has specialised in showbiz interviews, features, articles and roundups for over three years and loves combining her love for writing, talking and all things popular culture.