It seems most weddings don’t take place without at least a sprinkling of drama being thrown somewhere in the mix and another casualty of a family feud has logged onto Reddit to ask the internet if they’re the bad guy. In a new thread, a man told of how he’d opted not to attend his sister’s wedding after she told him his wife should stay home with their young children, so they didn’t steal the limelight from her on her big day. Yikes.
‘My wife and I have two sons, a two-year-old and a four-month-old,’ the OP (original poster) explained. ‘Next week, my sister is going to get married to her fiancé, and obviously everybody is very happy. Everything was going as planned until a few days ago, my sister called me and asked if my wife could stay home with our sons because our kids are the youngest in the family and would take the attention away from her.’
There are a few things to question here. While child-free weddings are a controversial (but perhaps understandable) concept themselves, it does seem somewhat unreasonable to tell your own brother he can’t bring his wife and children to your wedding just days before the event.
And even if having a baby crying while you’re walking down the aisle isn’t your vibe, why is it assumed that the brother’s wife will be the one to stay home with the children? Shouldn’t they have been given the option to arrange nearby childcare for the duration of the ceremony?
Additionally, while a four-month-old might attract some fawning when they first arrive, (babies are cute) when has anyone ever forgotten to watch a wedding because an infant was in the room? Guests have travelled specifically to share the bride’s big day with her—she shouldn’t be worried about anyone’s attention straying elsewhere.
‘I really didn't like the idea of leaving my wife behind with a toddler and a baby while I travel two days to the wedding venue and stay however long there,’ the original poster [OP] continued. ‘I love my sister very much but it just wasn't feasible and my wife and I decided that we would both just stay home.’
‘Unfortunately, my sister is now mad at me and won't take my calls,’ they said. ‘She thinks that I'm being selfish and that I am a massive jerk for not attending her one and only wedding. I really don't know what to think, I understand why she's upset but I don't think I'm the asshole.’
Reddit was firmly on the OP’s side: ‘You were invited to the wedding, it's not compulsory (except for the bride and groom!) and not wanting to leave your wife with 2 kids to look after seems perfectly reasonable to me,’ one commenter wrote and, frankly, we agree.
The bride asked that her brother’s children didn’t attend her wedding and specified his wife stay home, too. She is getting exactly what she wanted, but the consequence of this is that her brother can’t come either.
Banning your nieces and nephews from your wedding just because they’re little and might soak up a crumb of attention reserved for you on your wedding day is immature. Weddings are about couples publicly declaring their love to one another, not about having all eyes on you.