The relationship with your mother-in-law can be fraught at the best of times – but imagine if she hijacked your holiday with your husband. This may sound like a nightmare (or a storyline from The White Lotus), but it actually happened to one woman who has since taken to Reddit’s Am I The Asshole thread to check if it was a bad move to flee the trip as soon as she saw her uninvited guest.
‘I don’t have the best relationship with my husband’s mom,’ she explained. ‘Since day one she tried to make remarks and compare me to her. Then she tried to get on my good side and started overly praising everything I do and sometimes even copies me. One time, she literally dyed her hair purple like mine and when everyone pointed out how ridiculous she looked, she actually blamed me and accused me of making a joke out of her.’ This already sounds toxic.
Turning to the tale of how her holiday went so badly wrong, the original poster (OP) explained that she and her husband had both taken two weeks off for a large trip. ‘I was the one who saved up for and arranged the trip,’ she explained. ‘My husband’s mom wanted to come along and threw temper tantrums when I said no.
‘She called, texted me, sent people to talk me into letting her come,’ she continued. ‘[She] even threatened to call the police and make some complaint up to get us to stay if she couldn’t come. My husband said we should just take her but I told him he was wrong to tell her about the trip in the first place.
The OP’s husband then gave her an ultimatum: If his mother couldn’t come, he wasn’t going either. She said she’d gladly go without him (iconic) at which point he took back what he said and promised to tell his mom to stop harassing them into an invitation. But the saga didn’t end there.
‘Things got quieter, suspiciously quieter,’ the OP continued. ‘The day of the trip came and we got to the airport at 2pm. My husband was walking ahead of me and looking left to right like he was looking for someone. I asked him but he didn’t respond. He lead me to the waiting area and the first thing I saw was his mom standing there with her luggage.
‘I froze on the spot,’ she said. ‘I felt a cold wave washing over me and I was fuming inside. She and my husband were hugging [and] that’s when I quietly turned around and started walking towards the exit. My husband followed me while shouting at me to stop…but I told him off in the harshest way possible. He tried to tell me I was overreacting,’ she continued. ‘[He said] that his mom was there “anyway” and I should let it go [rather than] mess the trip up for us.
‘I told him he and his mom could still go and the I was going home…Turned out he booked her a ticket without me knowing. An hour later he came home yelling and raging about how pathetic and spiteful I was to walk out and go home and ruin the trip last minute…My family said that I shouldn’t have ruined it for myself and should’ve sucked it up and done my best to enjoy it.’
To be clear, this woman was lied to and manipulated by her husband. He ruined her trip by being deceptive and actively going against her wishes, which is just selfish. As one Reddit user put it: ‘I don’t wanna call the divorce card but... divorce. You told [him] your boundaries, you said no. She crossed it. Your husband told you he would tell her no, he lied. He tried to pin you in a corner by not saying anything and bringing her anyways and got upset you refused to be a part of his little trap?? And then to berate you?? He’s not a good man. He needs to go.’