Is It Ever Socially Acceptable To Announce Your Pregnancy At Someone’s Wedding?

‘It will be very noticeable that I am not drinking and refusing shots…’

aita wedding pregnant

by Lydia Spencer-Elliott |
Published on

We’ve said it before and we’ll say it again, weddings are an endless source of drama. And now one woman has taken to Reddit’s Am I The Arsehole (AITA) thread to try and ascertain whether she’s about to cause a gossip storm by announcing her pregnancy at her cousin’s wedding—the ultimate limelight-stealing faux pas.

‘My boyfriend and I (have been dating for 12 years and just decided to start trying for a baby,’ the 35-year-old explained. ‘We have a family wedding to attend this weekend, therefore I took a pregnancy test, just to double check, before a weekend of heavy drinking. Well, it was positive, and we are so excited. I do not want to announce that I am pregnant until we go to the doctor or after 12 weeks.

‘This happened so quickly I am not sure what to do,’ she added.  ‘The bride has been dreaming about her wedding day her whole life and all the attention should be on her. I do not want to take her spotlight. This will be the first grandchild in the family, and I assume that everyone will be so excited.

‘The problem is that I drink alcohol and get drunk at every family event,’ the woman continued. ‘My family loves to party and we take shots together, shotgun beer together, and randomly challenge each other to chugging contests. I am fully involved in the festivities and instigate a lot of the drinking. Basically, it will be very noticeable that I am not drinking and refusing shots.

‘I am planning on pretending to drink beers by replacing it with water,’ she strategized. ‘But I don't think this will actually fool my family. We are staying at the hotel where the reception is taking place, therefore I cannot just say I am the designated driver. My family will notice that I am not drinking this weekend and correctly conclude that I am pregnant.’

The woman went on to explain that her boyfriend had suggested calling everyone and announcing they were pregnant in advance, so it didn’t happen during the wedding, but that she wasn’t comfortable with that plan as she hasn’t been to the doctors yet: ‘I am more terrified of the possibility of having to announce a miscarriage to the whole family,’ she said. ‘Will I be the arsehole if I still attend the wedding?’

It seems to us like there are multiple other solutions than simply attend and spill the beans or stay home altogether. What about not drinking and saying you’re taking a course of antibiotics for an ear infection or UTI? What about ordering soft drinks and saying there’s vodka in them? What about saying you’re so drunk if you take one more sip you’ll be sick? Just put on your best GCSE drama performance and hope for the best. But, whatever you do, don’t let the cat out of the bag.

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