When it comes to modern living, it’s all about choice. It doesn’t matter whether women have corporate goals, manage their family homes or - in many cases - tackle both at once. And one woman has taken to Reddit’s Am I The Asshole [AITA] thread to find out if she’s in the wrong for going on housework strike after her husband moved his parents in to their home without her permission. Yikes.
‘My husband and I don’t have the best relationship, but it is also not the worst,' the woman wrote. 'He has a habit of doing things behind my back, and I’m supposed to accept it because I’m a housewife. I cook, clean, run errands. Anything to do with domestic things is my responsibility. And I’d be fine with that if my husband didn’t throw it in my face.
‘The issue is his parents lost their home due to terrible financial decisions,’ the original poster [OP] explained. ‘They asked to live with us, and I immediately said no. I knew I’d have to clear after his parents while he goes out…They could’ve gone to his three other siblings’ houses so it wasn’t like we were their only choice.
‘Despite me saying no to his parents staying with us, I come back from shopping with all their stuff moved in,’ she revealed. ‘I’m livid and argue with my husband and he says he pays the bills so I have to deal with it. Fine. But I told him I not doing anything in the house anymore and he can fend for himself. He got cocky and thought I was bluffing. I lived up to my promise and could see he was getting more and more angry with my new freedom.’
‘It all came [to a] head this weekend,’ the woman continued. ‘I went into the kitchen and made only enough dinner for myself. His parents asked if I [could] make another portion and I said no. His mum started berating me, then my husband got involved and yelled and called me a b[itch]. I simply put my AirPods in and drowned him out, walked away and ate my dinner in my bedroom.
‘After some time, he and his parents came to me and I could see he was speaking . My husband then lifted up my hair and saw I had my AirPods in and was not listening to a word he has been screaming,’ she said. ‘He asked if I had them in the whole time and I replied back “of course”. His dad laughed and was clearly finding this amusing.
‘Then all of a sudden, my husband burst out crying,’ the OP continued. ‘Like seriously bawling his eyes out, sobbing I’m emasculating him in front of people. Me and his parents were silent and in shock by this. To paint the scene, he was crying loudly sitting on the floor, then his mother cradled him while his father looked like he was about to laugh. I thought the whole thing was ridiculous [because] he brought this upon himself. I said I don’t why he’s acting like a victim, picked up my purse and left to go hang out with my friends.
‘The next day, my husband did not speak a word to anyone and slept all day, and looked depressed’ the woman added. His mother berated me again and said I’m “breaking her son”. If I’m being honest, I’m starting to think I handled the situation a bit too petty.’
We love a liberated woman and refusing to do the housework is a pretty great protest to reclaim you power after your partner has broken your trust and clear communication has failed.
But the most concerning thing here is that the OP starts her post off with ‘my husband and I don’t have the best relationship, but it is also not the worst (!).’ It sounds to us like these two aren’t compatible at all. And having a lukewarm at best, volatile at worst, arrangement is not a good enough reason to stay in a relationship. Plus, it sounds very much like the OP’s husband is financially manipulating her.
We appreciate that it’s not easy to leave when your partner when they’re in control of the money but what joy is coming from a marriage like this? As one Reddit user put it: ‘It's sad how much the idea of "better to be unhappy in a relationship than to be single" is ingrained in us… This story is a sad illustration of the usefulness of staying financially self-sustaining.’