For as long as capitalism has existed, people have done whatever they’ve needed to for money. And on this week’s Am I The Arsshole (AITA) drama one Reddit user has told of how his wife is now furious at him because he donated sperm for cash before they met.
‘So, I don’t come from a wealthy background,’ he explained. ‘I grew up poor and worked like hell to get where I am now. In my early 20s, I did whatever I could to make a buck. I donated plasma as often I could for money, and when I found out they would pay for sperm I did that.
‘Around this time, I met my wife,’ he continued. ‘She is essentially a trust fund baby. Her parents are rich and she has had access to their money her entire life and is the sole inheritor of her mom’s wealth. So, I never told her about this but I pretty much kept donating sperm as often as possible for around 90 bucks a pop until I proposed. I paid for herring with the money I made through this,’ he added.
‘We have been married five years,’ the original poster [OP] explained. ‘I’m working a good job that pays well and it doesn’t hurt to have her money going into the household. So, last night we were at a get-together and some of us start talking about the things we had to do to make money when we were at our lowest. I said that I sold blood and sperm.
‘Everyone thought this was amusing but her,’ he continued. ‘She got upset and started asking about it. I tried answering her questions, but she just kept escalating leading to an embarrassing public argument. She was upset that when we have kids, she’s not going to be the only woman I have had kids with.’
‘I tried to argue that the kids that were cooked up with my baby batter don’t even know I exist,’ he added poetically. ‘She still saw this as a betrayal of trust. We [had to] excuse ourselves to continue this in our car. She asked when I last donated was I told her sometime before I proposed. She was disgusted by this and kept using the phrase “got other women pregnant”.
‘I accused her of being jealous for no reason,’ he continued. ‘She told me that I had lied to her for years and now she’s barely talking to me. To clarify, I’m a closed donor meaning none of my information will ever be sent out to any of the people conceived using my sperm.’
Although the OP may have opted to be a closed donor, there’s no guarantee that one of his offspring won’t take a DNA test to find out who their father is. As such, we’d say his wife had a right to know what he’d done before they got married and definitely should have been told in private.
While there’s a clear difference between being a father and donating sperm, the OP shouldn’t have intentionally hidden this aspect of his life from his partner when it could affect her future, too.
As one Reddit user put it: ‘OP isn’t the arsehole for donating, he’s the arsehole for not sharing this with his wife. That is something you tell your spouse BEFORE you get married.’
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