We seem to have woken up in a world where people think Naomi Campbell owes them an explanation about anything at all - and really, you have to laugh.
Jokes aside about the notoriously private super model, the fact remains true for all people - and appears to need repeating today - no-one owes you the story of their journey to parenthood.
So it's galling to see that just one day after Naomi Campbell announced she had become a mother, pictures are doing the rounds of the supermodel three weeks ago in New York, walking around.
These amazing GOTCHA pics prove...? Absolutely nothing. Not a thing.
What do the pictures hope to prove? Well, maybe that Naomi must have adopted or used a surrogate for her first daughter? Maybe that she had really tight abs? Maybe that the baby must be more than six weeks old because she looks... well, she's wearing a tracksuit, but... anyway. And the picture is of the baby's feet so...
Aaaaand Naomi could've taken the picture of her daughter five weeks ago for all we know. Maybe the pictures, taken reportedly near her SECRET BOYFRIEND aim to prove who the father of Naomi Campbell's baby is? There'll be source quotes about whether that clear drink she was holding could've just been fizzy water any moment... Any woman not ready to chat about her fertility status LOVES that one.
They say every picture tells a story, but this one - I'm not sure it's the simple PROOF it's intended to be. But more to the point, it's insulting.
And actually, it makes Naomi's gorgeous Instagram picture a more powerful statement.
Whether Naomi Campbell or any person on the planet has used a surrogate, adopted, brought eggs, sperm, friends, other couples in the equation - whether they've done it alone, in a couple, in a COMMUNE, whether it took IVF, two days of trying or a decade... none of it is your business. Add it to the list of whether people want to have kids, whether they're trying to have kids or feel like they've 'missed their chance' to have kids.
Of course, brilliant, lots of people are being very open these days about their difficult paths to parenthood and that's undoubtedly helped so many people in their various struggles and decisions around everything from egg donation to surrogacy.
But let's not mistake some people's generosity, activism and personal preference for sharing with a need or standard.
The other gross element to the 'baby speculation' around Naomi Campbell, is that her age is also being touted around as if 'proof' of one thing or another. At 50, a pregnancy is not an impossibility, especially with resource. So the only thing people who are saying 'Well she's 50 now, so the baby must be...' are proving is their own ageism. Oh, and sexism too - Mick Jagger becomes Dad at... well, WHENEVER, and let's not consider a world where there are two page spreads on the state of his sperm. Yes, ageist speculation around birth can go in the same bin as the phrase 'geriatric pregnancy' for anyone over about the age of 27 having a kid.
Actually, before you head binwards, I'd pay good money to stream someone saying the words 'geriatric pregnancy' in front of Naomi Campbell's face. Good luck.
So as ever, if you'd feel weird asking someone something in person, don't keep chatting about it online like it's your business. It's a good rule of thumb.
The annoying thing of course is - Naomi Campbell aside - that's not really a protection, because in real life, society does have a weird obsession with believing women's bodies become public property the day they start to hold a baby. Or, the day they decide they don't want to, of course. People will ask those questions to your face. Ask anyone who's walked the supermarket aisles with twins how many times they've been asked 'Was it IVF then?' Ask any woman, single, coupled, trebled up that has attended a family event after the age of 21 how many times they've been asked about kids. How are your internal organs by the way Uncle Gary? Bowels holding up? Been having much sex lately with Aunty Karen?
Anyway, that's probably why Google Trends is showing 'Naomi Campbell pregnancy photo', 'Did Naomi Campbell use a surrogate' 'Naomi Campbell partner' 'Naomi Campbell baby father' is all trending. Yes, because I'll allow for SOME natural curiosity without judgement, but also because of our obsession with WOMBS. Oh, apart from when it's about the health of women's wombs, funding into women's wombs and providing proper post natal care for women's wombs.
So, if you're sick of all of it too, don't add to the pile on today, like the picture and move on with your life, safe in the knowledge that I can guarantee you that Naomi Campbell has not spent one iota of a second thinking about you today. Or your womb.