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Ignore The Haters Chelsy, We Salute You For Going To Your Ex's Wedding

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In defence of Chelsy Davy attending Prince Harry’s wedding to Meghan Markle

Ever since footage first emerged of Prince Harry’s famous ex Chelsy Davy at the royal wedding on Saturday, the Internet has been having a field day casting her as the jealous, bitter ex.

First, there were those nicknaming her, ‘Her Royal Saltiness’, with screen grabs of her looking a little unimpressed by the proceedings. Next, came those mocking her decision to bring her brother as a plus one, implying she was hoping that no one noticed it wasn’t a boyfriend or husband, or her choice of dark navy wedding outfit, saying she was at a funeral. Finally, came reports that she and her former beau had shared a tearful ‘last ever phone call’ the night before the wedding.

All of which implies that Davy isn’t over Harry. But that’s wrong. Because really, isn’t the fact that she was invited to St George’s Chapel testimony to the fact that she isn’t a bitter ex?

Sure, everyone has a stance on whether or not you should or shouldn’t remain friends with an ex. There have even been studies on it, with a particularly inflammatory one conducted by Oakland University claiming that being friends with your exes implies that you have psychopathic qualities. Yet often it is more complicated than that. Many choose to remain friends due to the close bond they once shared, or because the relationship ended for non-calamitous reasons. After all, if it was a mutual fizzling out, then what’s the harm in remaining in civil contact?

Amy, 30* attended her exes wedding with her current boyfriend last summer, and for her, it was a joyful occasion, that reminded her about how far she had come in her own life, too. ‘I never really thought about the fact that he was my ex,’ she said. ‘To me, it was just about seeing one of my oldest friends and someone I cared about a lot taking the next step in their life. The idea that I might be a bitter or meddling ex, wishing it was me, has literally never occurred to me. It just made me so excited for my own future wedding – like all weddings do to be honest.’

And it’s often the same if you’re single, too. Sam, 29, was at his ex-girlfriend’s wedding earlier this year, and despite riding solo, didn’t have any misgivings about attending. ‘I was just happy for her,’ he explained. ‘What’s in the past is in the past. I wouldn’t have been invited if things weren’t cool… and weddings are fun!’ I too am attending the wedding of an ex this summer, and at time of going to press, am totally fine with it – I’m good friends with him and his wife-to-be, and have never waivered in that.

In this way, Harry is far from alone in being friends with his exes (Cressida Bonas, a brief romance from 2015, was also there on Saturday). Indeed, the royal family has form when it comes to this: Prince Andrew lives with his ex, Sarah Ferguson, and Prince William invited several of his to his wedding to Kate Middleton in 2011.

Davy’s presence at Harry’s wedding on Saturday goes to show that there is no bad blood over the ending of their seven-year on-again off-again relationship, which ended eight years ago, in 2010. At the time, it was widely reported that the duo were splitting due to the unbearable media attention on Davy, who felt ill-equipped to deal with the pressure at such a young age. The following year, she was asked to Prince William’s wedding, and the pair has been in touch throughout the intervening years. Since then, they’ve both moved on and grown up, enjoying new relationships, so why shouldn’t they be friends again now?

As people are marrying later and later and dating more and more within their own friendship circles, it is inevitable that you’ll pick up a few exes that you’ll see a fair amount afterwards, whether it’s because you share a social circle or you just get on better as mates. Harry’s decision to invite Chelsy (and Cressy) to his wedding on Saturday would only have been a positive thing for Meghan, who could surely see how strong it meant their own relationship is.