Millennials Stand Firm – We Cannot Allow The Two Bits Of Hair To Come Back

When bucket hats became acceptable for celebs like Kylie Jenner (and not just for toddlers or as a Happy Mondays joke tribute), we remained calm. When TikTok tried to bring blue eyeshadow back, well, enough of us weren't on TikTok yet to do anything, probably. When people like Kim Kardashian started showing off bejazzled thongs above their trousers, we lolled because, no, come on Kim. And when Juicy tracksuits were declared to be 'back', too... actually, they were quite cosy - we didn't mind too much. (Although when shops started producing more tops that flash your belly than don't, we should've rioted - especially if they had spaghetti straps.)

But when Billie Piper became the latest celebrity (behind the likes of Dua Lipa) to walk down a red carpet last night with those two bits of hair pulled out of a tight up do, the latest 90s trend to stage a comeback? Surely we all (or at least the'geriatric millennials'among us) screamed at the TV: 'Enough is enough!'

Is this, do you think, how people who were teens in the 70s felt, when everyone started wearing Fleetwood Mac t-shirts? Or those who partied through the 80s roll their eyes when mullets occasionally try and happen?

The return of 'the bits' , that inescapable 90s hair trend, started getting some chat when Dua Lipa appeared to think they were a good idea a few months ago... but when Billie Piper attended the BAFTAs last night wearing a scrunchie and two bits of VERY sleek hair, Twitter stepped in.

In recent hair times, two trends similar to 'the tendrils' have arisen. And if you've gone there, I don't want you to get panicky.

There are the things that Geri Halliwell had that I have now found out are actually called 'money pieces'. Blonde bits - subtle or not - at the front of their hair is one thing.

There are also that lovely soft kind of outgrown fringe that people like Kaley Cuoco manage to pull off, known as curtain bangs. Lovely!

What we're dealing with here is the very specific two bits. The two bits that pop out, totally OUT OF CONTEXT. The two bits that one colleague today told me, she used to thin out and secure into place with spit. But hair gel was also an option. You can also plait them, or hair mascara them. You know the two bits I mean.

The thing is, while lots of people talk about their eyebrows never making a comeback from the 90s, I think lots of women's hair still breaks and suffers from the two bits.

Does no one else recollect straightening the poor strands out with a steam-powered BaByliss tong that always leaked water? Or worse, THE IRON. So the top bit was a bit frizzy and the rest so sharp you could do damage?

And the thing is, like all of these 90s trends, girls on the catwalk, red carpet and TikTok can make them look good! But we, no, we know the truth that awaits anyone who tried the bits... they look AWFUL.

They somehow do the opposite of every hair trend since and distort the shape of your face. They look greasy at best - slightly wavy and wonky at worst. And we've all go the Snappy Snaps disposable camera photo proof that 10 minutes of dancing and they're stuck to your forehead.

So, join with me today and say sure - have your 90s revival. Make us feel old. Please at least consider bringing back some of the music and Cool Britannia back with it - we could do with that. But no, don't tell us the two bits/tendrils/stragglers are coming back. Don't tell us they've been remodelled. Don't insult us and make out they can be flattering. We lived through the truth.

Oh, and men... join our campaign. Because they can come for you too...

READ MORE: The Most Nostalgic '90s Fashion Trends That Are Probably In Your Wardrobe Right Now

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