Are People Really Having Extramarital Affairs In Lockdown?

This week it was revealed that Professor Neil Ferguson, the scientist advising the government on how to prevent the spread of Covid-19 through social distancing, broke lockdown rules on two occasions to meet ‘his married lover’.

Breaking the news yesterday, The Telegraph, reported that he allowed the woman – who lives with her husband and children in another house – to visit him at home during the lockdown. He had previously led the research from Imperial College London that claimed 500,000 Britons would die if the UK didn’t implement a national lockdown.

‘I accept I made an error of judgment and took the wrong course of action,’ Ferguson told the publication. ‘I have therefore stepped back from my involvement in Sage [the government's Scientific Advisory Group for Emergencies]. I acted in the belief that I was immune, having tested positive for coronavirus, and completely isolated myself for almost two weeks after developing symptoms.

‘I deeply regret any undermining of the clear messages around the continued need for social distancing to control this devastating epidemic,’ he continued. ‘The Government guidance is unequivocal, and is there to protect all of us.’

Naturally, the news has caused outrage given his many public appearances praising ‘very intensive social distancing’ measures all while his lover, Antonia Staats, 38, travelled across London to spend time in his home.

It’s not just started a debate around the hypocrisy of public figures like him – cabinet minister Robert Jenrick travelled 40 miles to see his parents during lockdown, for example – but also the nature of Ferguson’s particular rule-breaking: the fact he was choosing to maintain sexual contact with a woman sharing a house with other people. After all, he had tested positive for coronavirus two weeks prior to meeting up with a woman who shared a home with her husband and two children.

There have been a number of reports of people maintaining affairs in lockdown – be it virtually or in person. In fact, one dating service for married people, Ashley Madison, told Grazia they are averaging 16,685 new members per day – a 1,000 daily increase in new adulterers compared to this time last year. The same goes for similar dating site Illicit Encounters, which has seen an 18% rise in activity from male members and 12% rise from women in the last few weeks.

From there, the statistics only get more bleak. Ashley Madison reported that one of their major findings when talking to members was that married couples are having less sex and becoming less attracted to each other. In fact, 41% of their members said they have become less attracted to their spouse during lockdown. Plus, 60% of members say they would be happier isolating with their affair partner.

It’s worth noting that Staats is understood to be in an open marriage – according to The Sun – but of course that doesn’t excuse choosing to see your second partner at a time when staying at home is a global priority. Either way, she is one of many apparently pursuing relationships outside their marriage during lockdown – although many do seem to be sticking to virtual affairs.

‘Online and virtual infidelity is a distraction for those who are home and feeling bored and restless,’ sex and relationship expert Dr. Tammy Nelson says. ‘For others, whose marriage or partnership is under a real strain, releasing some of the stress at home means having someone online to flirt with.

‘Many who are still home in lockdown are entering a phase of chronic stress, moving out of the acute shock of the initial pandemic,’ she continues. ‘This new normal can feel hopeless and exhausting. For people cheating online and meeting a new partner, things can suddenly feel fresh and new, bringing hope to an otherwise bleak lifestyle.’

So what does she suggest for couples unhappy right now that could stray into actually straying? Set aside time without distractions to talk through your issues in a productive way.

‘Of those relatively unhappy couples, 28% of Ashley Madison members were annoyed with their partner for being glued to their computer or phone,’ Dr Nelson says. ‘And almost 60% said they have tried to talk about their issues but it hasn’t helped. So, it might help if you put down your devices and went back to talking to your at-home partner.’

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