Sarina Wiegman: ‘I Heard “That’s Not For Women” Many Times Growing Up’

Sarina Wiegman is pulling back the sleeve of her pale blue shirt to show me her tattoo. It’s not what you might expect from a woman famed for her no-nonsense M&S clothing (today’s suit is no exception). But the infinity symbol, which stretches across her right wrist and features a tiny rose, is a touching tribute to her older sister, Diana, who died in June 2022 from ovarian cancer, a year after being diagnosed.

‘It means endless love,’ says the 54-year-old. ‘One of my daughters got it, too, and my two nephews - her sons. I’m not a tattoo woman and at first I thought, “Wow, this is big.” But now I like it.’

That painful loss happened just three weeks before the start of the Euros last summer, which the Lionesses went on to win - bringing the first major football trophy home for England since 1966 and turning the team, from Beth Mead to Mary Earps, into household names. And when they reached the World Cup final this summer, losing to Spain, Wiegman’s place was also cemented in the nation’s hearts.

A petite Dutchwoman with grey-blue eyes, Wiegman is an understated trailblazer. She’s the first coach of any gender to win consecutive Euros and reach the World Cup final with two different teams (Holland and England) and was voted Best Fifa Coach a record three times.

It was illegal for girls to play football when she was growing up in The Hague, so six-year-old Wiegman cut her hair and joined her twin brother’s team. She won 104 caps for her country but, as women couldn’t be professional footballers, also worked as a PE teacher. At 33, she turned coach, becoming the first woman to manage a Dutch professional team. Naturally.

Today, we’re meeting in London to discuss her book, What It Takes, a guide to leadership with the odd personal tidbit. Wiegman is famously private and rarely gives interviews. So why turn the spotlight on herself?

‘I’ve been coaching for over 20 years and with that visibility I feel more responsibility to share things. I have to accept that and embrace it, though it’s out of my comfort zone. But it was sort of therapeutic at the same time. I started processing things.’

Key to maintaining that privacy has been her decision to commute to England from the Netherlands home she shares with her husband, Marten Glotzbach, an economics professor and football coach to whom she met in high school and has been married to for 23 years, and their daughters, Sacha, 21, and Lauren, 19 - both of whom, of course, play football.

‘I’m very protective of my family, especially my daughters,’ says Wiegman. ‘They say, “Mum, don’t worry about us, we’ll be all right and we know what to say to the media if they reach out.” But I do worry.’

In her book, Wiegman credits her husband with keeping domestic life on track and giving up his school management role so she could follow her dream.

‘In a relationship you have to support each other,’ she says. ‘When I got the opportunity to be a full-time coach, he just said, “Go do it, because this is what you love the most. I'll go back to just teaching, so I can be home more. We'll figure it out.” And we got some help from my parents and my parents-in-law.’ Needless to say, not everyone has been so supportive.

‘Growing up, I heard so many times, “That's not for women.” And I think when you hear that over and over, you believe it. You have to be very strong to stick to what you love, but that's what I did,’ she says. ‘Of course, I’ve had lonely moments, particularly being the only woman coach, you felt different. But I've never tried to act like a man. Why should I? I’ll always be myself.’

Nowhere was that more true than the Euros. As the final whistle blew on the Lionesses’ victory, Wiegman was photographed kissing a bracelet that had belonged to her sister. The two were close and when, during the tournament build-up, it became clear that Diana didn’t have long to live, Wiegman stepped back from football for a month so that they could spend time together. Before she died, Diana told her sister to ‘go and win’.

It’s a moving part of the book and offers a glimpse of the softer side Wiegman is credited with showing the Lionesses behind the scenes, in contrast to her blunt on-pitch approach.

‘It was so fresh that I didn't even have time to [process it]. I lit a candle in my room for her every day, but other than that I was able to park it and focus on the moment, because I’d promised her that I would,’ she says. ‘It was only the day before the final that it sank in, then I got some [therapy] and let some of the emotion out so I could continue. Then, of course, you go home and you get hit by it.

‘At the moment, I’m realising that she’s not coming back,’ she adds. ‘My mum also passed away and of course that was really sad, but that's the way it should go – parents die first. It's painful, but I do take the time to mourn because pushing it away doesn't help. You have to give yourself the time to be really sad. I have never been so sad.’

Has it put losing the odd football match into perspective, I wonder, especially given that the Lionesses may not qualify for the 2024 Olympics?

‘No, I really want to win,’ Wiegman says. And, just like that, she’s back in manager mode.

Throughout our conversation, she insists that ‘things are going in the right direction’ in terms of equality, but in her book she writes 'as long as these selection committees are biased towards white men of a certain age, we won’t achieve diversity in the footballing world'.

Some would argue that those outdated attitudes led to the two rows that clouded this summer’s World Cup: Nike failing to produce a replica Mary Earps goalkeeper shirt because they hadn’t thought it commercially viable and Jenni Hermoso being kissed on the lips by Spanish FA president Luis Rubiales, leading to a global scandal that saw him accuse her of lying, before he eventually resigned.

In August, Wiegman dedicated her UEFA Coach of the Year award to the Spanish team in solidarity. ‘I was really sad as a coach, as a mum, as a partner, a human being that we didn't celebrate Spain because they became world champions and no one talked about that,’ she says now.

‘I really felt very strongly that we have to support these women. We need to support each other. This generation of women who are now at the highest level of football also have another purpose that comes with their visibility: to try and make the world a better place for the next generation.’

She is clearly hugely protective of Golden Glove winner Earps, who writes a touching passage in the book crediting Wiegman for stopping her quitting football. ‘Because she performed so well at the World Cup, it put her in a situation where she had to do something,’ she says, of the row over her shirt. ‘I think she addressed that very well, Nike listened and she made a change. Things are being solved and are in a better place. And that's what you want.’

Yet, other issues remain unresolved. One is a lack of diversity, of which Wiegman seems very aware. ‘I pick the players who I think are the best to represent the country. For me, it doesn't matter at all where you come from, what your background is. Everyone's welcome,’ she says. ‘But I think it doesn't [currently] represent society. I hope that will change and players with different backgrounds will climb up at the highest level. But it won’t happen overnight.’

Another is money - England’s men enjoy higher financial rewards than the Lionesses, about which the women have been vocal. Meanwhile, Wiegman, who is contracted until 2025, reportedly earns £400,000 to Gareth Southgate’s rumoured £4m. Then there’s the question of whether she’ll stay with the Lionesses after her current contract expires in 2025.

But, she says, ‘It's not all about money. I think the most valuable thing we have accomplished is that little girls now have role models… My heart is in the women's game and my thoughts are on the women's game,’ she adds. ‘I had to cut my hair to play, so for me it's so important that little girls can play football if they want to. That's what I really want to fight for.’

What It Takes: My Playbook On Life And Leadership by Sarina Wiegman (£22, HarperCollins) is out now

Hero image by Kate Peters Photography