The second half of Harry and Meghan’s documentary dropped this week and with it, a whole bunch of scandalous bombshells about the reality of royal life. The couple hit back at various rumours that circulated about them in the tabloid press in recent years, picking apart the racism and sexism that underpins much of the coverage. One of the most notable? The idea the Harry is ‘Meghan’s puppet.’
It's a narrative that began as soon as the word ‘diva’ was uttered in reference to Meghan, tabloid rumours swirling even as far back as the royal wedding when her supposed ‘demands’ for the big day were salaciously exaggerated. Remember all of those stories about times Meghan ‘broke royal etiquette’? The same thing. The headlines might’ve been about Meghan, but the larger implication was always that Harry had married a woman he couldn’t ‘control’, that this larger than life American had bolstered her way into the royal family and through manipulation – something her acting credentials were always used to slyly implicate her further – had made a puppet of a naïve Harry.
'I've seen little cartoons of me on all fours with her holding a dog lead and me wearing a dog collar,' Harry explains. 'How predictable that the woman is to be blamed for the decision of a couple. In fact, it was my decision, she never asked to leave. I was the one that had to see it for myself, but it's misogyny at its best.'
Harry hit the nail on the head because it’s not just the idea that Meghan controlled Harry’s decisions that’s sexist, it’s also the idea that she somehow isn’t entitled to equal power in their relationship. Even if Meghan had wanted certain things at her wedding, or felt uncomfortable with a certain royal rule, is she not entitled to an equal partnership where her feelings and values are just as respected as he or his family’s?
It might be hard to imagine her predicament when royal life is so far from our own, but the puppet narrative in general is relatable for all women. ‘In any relationship, often times, when a guy falls in love with a girl his buddies will be like “Oh my God, he changed. I don’t see him anymore, he’s always with her!” and you blame the girl,’ Meghan explains. ‘They’re angry with her because she’s the thing that took him away, and that’s whether you’re in a small town or big city or in the royal family.’
Men once high-fived for scoring you, are suddenly infantalised by their friends as though you decide their every move.
Haven’t we all been there? One second, you’re being introduced to his friends as a prized trophy they can’t believe he ‘won’, the next second they're scolding you in the group chat because he dares to spend his Saturdays with you. Suddenly, the man that was one impressive just for courting you is being infantilised, incapable of making any decisions about how he spends his time, just by virtue of being with you. Oh, and dare your influence have any kind of change on their character – you know, maybe you convince him to talk about his feelings more, or change his mind about a sexist joke he used to make - well then you’re done, you might as well have imprisoned him in husband jail because his friends will grieve the loss of their once ‘banterous’ friend as though they’ve died.
Harry received this treatment on a global scale, in the public eye no less, and thus the implication that Meghan is some kind-of master manipulator was unduly intense. In normal life, you might be able to dampen the narrative with a sly joke over dinner about how much your partner secretly loves staying home to watch Love Island, his friends might even pick up on themselves – but when that friendship group is the entire world, being fed stories daily by a monster machine whose profit margins rest on creating scandal and outrage by any sexist means necessary? Meghan never stood a chance.
So perhaps next time someone drops a Harry’s puppet line or references Meghan’s supposed manipulation, it’s worth returning the opinion with some schooling on sexism – when one woman falls foul to discourse like this, we all lose out.