It's too hot.
We all know that it's too hot. It's unbearably, horribly, not okay for English people who burn in 12 degree heat, hot. So it's understandable that you'd do absolutely anything to cool down.
But there are limits. And the limit we'd like to really hammer home here is that no matter how hot you get, please do not put an ice lolly in your vagina.
'But no-one would EVER DO THAT?' I hear you say. Not so, my sweet friend. Not so. According to Metro.co.uk, people have actually put ice lollies where the sun does not shine.
It goes without saying that putting frozen things in your genitals isn't a good idea. Ever got your tongue stuck to a frozen pole? Now imagine it wasn't your tongue that was stuck and you've good idea of the major risk of any vagina ice action.
Ice during foreplay on the outside of your body? Totally fine (though you'll be sleeping in a damp bed later).
Ice inside the delicate skin of your vulva or vagina? No.
Plus, any flavoured ice lollies which contain sugars, colourings and all the other things that make them so delicious, make them a one way ticket to yeast infection city. The only things that go in your vagina should be specifically designed for that purpose and fully safety tested first.
In conclusion, ice lollies should go in your mouth and nowhere else.
If you're really suffering in the heat might we suggest that you consider buying a room fan, or a chic cooling accessory? Or maybe a nice facial mist?