It’s happened to many young celebrities in recent years. Billie Eillish will post a music video being sexually suggestive with her female friends. Tyler Posey will make a joke about sexual fluidity on IG Live. Harry Styles will refuse to label his sexuality when asked in interviews. Immediately, they’re accused of ‘queerbaiting’ – that is, appropriating queer culture in order to benefit from the apparent social and marketing value of certain elements of queerness – and labelled as ‘problematic’, all before anyone thinks to ask whether they might just be queer themselves.
Today, it happened to 18-year-old Heartstopper actor Kit Connor, who was forced to come out on Twitter after accusations of ‘queerbaiting’ stormed social media. ‘I’m bi,’ he tweeted this morning. ‘Congrats for forcing an 18-year-old to out himself. I think some of you missed the point of the show. Bye,’
Now, the young actor is trending on Google, with ‘Kit Connor Heartstopper’ and ‘Kit Connor girlfriend’ becoming breakout search terms. In Netflix’s Heartstopper, Connor plays a young man navigating bisexuality after falling in love with main character Charlie (played by Joe Locke). The show sees Connor’s character Nick coming to terms with his sexuality as he falls for Charlie, terrified to come out to his friends and family before eventually sharing that he’s bisexual with his mother. The tale is charming and profound, relatable for many queer people’s experiences of bisexuality as a teenager.
But with Connor’s portrayal of Nick came questions and assumptions about the actor’s own sexuality. After the actor was spotted holding hands with Argentine American actor Maia Reficco, fans on TikTok accused him of ‘queerbaiting’ for dating a woman when they, in fact, assumed he only dated men. The idea that he could be bisexual was seemingly erased from any conversations.
Queerbaiting accusations often lack nuance and ignore sexuality fluidity.
That’s the problem with ‘queerbaiting’ accusations – they often presumes queerness is binary. They ignores the fact that you can, at one point in your life identify as straight, only to realise or accept your queerness later on. A personal instance of queerbaiting when you're 18 for example, say kissing your female friends ‘for a laugh’, could retrospectively be considered an exercise of queerness when you're 25 and realise, ‘Oh no, I’m actually just queer.’
They ignore the fact that sexuality is fluid, that a person can be dating another sex for a portion of their life and despite being queer never feel the need to publicly label themselves. More than that, they assume an entitlement to know a person’s sexuality at all, as if it’s a right that others should be so invested in your romantic life. It's also quite ironic that the definition of queerbaiting implies there’s a certain level of privilege that comes with being outwardly queer, which homophobic hate crimes would prove otherwise.
Queerbaiting has always been a complex concept. Because yes, certain instances of it absolutely can perpetuate harmful stereotypes about queer people or reduce same sex relationships to fetishes – but the term is thrown around without nuance far too often. Kit Connor’s experience is proof of that, and the worst has happened – a young man has been forced to come out before they’re ready to, undermining his queer experience and potentially causing untold trauma now that he will be forced to deal with the wave of homophobia bound to come his way. No one should ever feel forced to label themselves, his story is proof that we should all think twice before accusing anyone of ‘queerbaiting’ at all.