Sorry, But I Hate The Jennifer Lopez And Ben Affleck Reunion

Today, it seems like all the world can talk about is the Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck reunion. After being pictured on holiday together in Montana, everyone on social media is lavishing in the noughties nostalgia of Bennifer potentially reuniting. Except, and I say this with caution… me.

Okay, so I’m not the only one, there are quite a few of us side-eyeing this reunion – but among a sea of people gagging for the former Hollywood power couple to get back together, we’re few and far between.

Now, I have to confess, I was only nine when Bennifer broke-up, so maybe I’m entirely unqualified to understand the sheer velocity of this occasion. But, as someone who has most definitely kept up with the power couples of the noughties and analysed celebrity culture within an inch of its life, the idea of J. Lo going back to Ben Affleck just doesn’t sit right with me.

This is where my relative ignorance of their tabloid fame comes in handy: I’ve only known J. Lo as the incredible, multi-talented woman she is today. The two-time Grammy and Golden Globe nominated performer with a business empire that has made her one of America’s wealthiest self-made women (her net worth is $150million, if you were wondering). To me, she’s the type of woman that moves through her life with a confidence and power that means all her exes are lining up to rekindle that flame, should they ever be so lucky to get the chance.

On the flip side, I’ve also only known Ben Affleck as the man it was reported had cheated on Jennifer Garner with the nanny, put her through hell and back and then essentially re-enacted his entire life as that infuriating husband in Gone Girl (minus the murder mystery, of course). Oh, and we can’t forget the two women that alleged he assaulted them during the #MeToo movement, including actor Hillarie Burton whom he apologised to, plus the allegations that he was well aware of Harvey Weinstein’s sexual misconduct for years. Then there's this disgusting 2006 interview...

To me, Ben Affleck is that guy that consistently causes harm to the women close to him, they stick by him because much of his personal struggles he can’t help, and he later gushes about them in the press – often talking about how much he regrets causing them harm – until everyone forgets how awful he truly was.

Of course, he’s talented and accomplished in acting, there’s no denying that – but even without all of the dodgy behaviour, comparing his talent and date-worthiness to THE J. Lo? I just don’t think we’re playing in the same league here.

So, you can see where we have trouble.

Personally, J. Lo going back to Ben Affleck feels like when you return to that toxic first love because you’ve never quite felt a spark like it since. You forget, for a time, that you only felt that way because it was the first time experiencing actual love, that rush of Oxytocin that makes you forget anyone else exists and forgive every red flag. Going back to that ex, the sex is surely great, and they’re perfect for a rebound – something J. Lo would likely lavish in right now after so much A. Rod drama - but if we’re talking about returning to the glory days of 6.1 carat pink diamonds and promises of love forever, it’s absolutely not ideal.

17 years on, it would be easy to look back on a love like Bennifer’s with rose-tinted glasses – especially since you would hope Ben had, you know, emotionally evolved since then. In fact, J. Lo has implied before, 12 years after the breakup, that she thought Ben was very much her ‘right person, wrong time’ relationship.

‘We didn’t try to have a public relationship,’ she told People in March 2016. ‘We just happened to be together at the birth of the tabloids, and it was like, “Oh my God.” It was just a lot of pressure. I think different time, different thing, who knows what could’ve happened? But there was a genuine love there.’

But at the same time, she’s referred to the relationship as ‘self-destructive’ and detailed losing her sense of self throughout the relationship. In her memoir True Love, she recalled how Ben ‘crushed her soul’ when he pulled out of the 2003 wedding she’d taken so much time to plan – and how she hit ‘rock bottom’ when she found out he was dating Garner a few months later.

So, is it really right person wrong time then, or was their relationship just suitably toxic? Near 20 years on, we can trust J. Lo is well-versed enough in dating to know herself, of course, but it’s also knowing how much both she and Ben hated the tabloid fame around their relationship that makes this obsession with them getting back together feel uneasy.

Put simply, I hope J. Lo is having a whale of a time. I hope they’re having incredible throwback ex sex and reliving all their wildest memories together. But I also hope that it’s not that serious, that she doesn’t become yet another woman that hopes to save Ben from his own demons, because not only is that NOT her job, but it’s also not something any woman can do – not even THE J.Lo.

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