The Church Of England Has Issued Some Advice For Football Fans

gareth soutgate

by Georgia Aspinall |
Published on

Imagine this: you’re stood at the altar in the most beautiful dress you’ve ever worn, your soon-to-be husband is staring into your eyes, vowing ‘I solemnly swear to love and to cherish, to have and to…’ until suddenly, ‘ARGH REF WHAT ARE YOU PLAYING AT?!’ comes screaming from the third pew. It’s your uncle Joe, and he’s just ruined the most romantic moment of your life.

This is the nightmare every engaged woman in England, and most likely Sweden, has been having since Eric Dier brought football home and scored the winning penalty during the England vs Colombia match on Tuesday night. Because, for those fateful couples getting married on Saturday afternoon, they’re wedding now clashes with the World Cup quarter finals where England play Sweden, aka our biggest football game in 28 years.

In fact, it’s such a big deal that the Church of England has had to weigh in and has issued a warning against wedding guests to turn their phone off so as to avoid temptation for checking the score mid-ceremony. That’s right, the Church of England really does not trust your uncle Joe not to instinctively scream out mid-vows when catching a glimpse of the latest score.

‘For those attending a wedding service at 3pm,’, said Revd. Sandra Millar, head of life events at the Church of England, ‘I’d strongly encourage you to make sure you are fully on-side with the happy couple and switch off your mobile phone in advance.’

Full of football references, the Revd. went on to say that sneaking a look at the score while in church should warrant a red card, but don’t you worry football fans, if you do it at the reception, one of Gods very own mouthpieces has confirmed, you ‘may be forgiven’.

Honestly, we’re more on side with the football fans than we are the marrying couple here. If we’ve already been forced to spend hundreds celebrating someone else’s decision to become liable for each others debt, ahem I mean love, then we believe we’re expecting a projector screening of the match somewhere during the reception...

Click though to find out all of the best places to watch the World Cup this weekend...

Gallery

Where to watch the world cup 2018 - slider

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CREDIT: The Arch London

World Cup in-room dining at The Arch - London

If braving the crowds at an open air screening, or fighting your way to the bar in Bierkeller is your idea of hell, then enjoying the Beautiful Game from the comfort of a luxury boutique hotel room could be your winning formula. The Arch London are offering the ultimate half-time refreshments, too. Choose from a steak burger & two beers for £27.00, or a margherita pizza & two beers for £18.50 when you dine in-room from 14th June to 15th July. Sounds like a winning deal to us.

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CREDIT: Flat Iron Square

Flat Iron Square - London

From 14th June to 14th July, London Bridge's hipster hangout is turning into a football fanzone. As well as the MASSIVE outdoor screen, there'll also be a 100 inch HD TV inside the venue's Après Lodge, ready for when you'll need to take cover from the English weather.

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CREDIT: DesignMyNight

Zlatan's World Cup 2018 Pop-up - London

(In)famous Clapham nightclub Inferno's (yep, the one Margot Robbie apparently frequents) is bringing back it's much-loved Zlatan's Pop-up this summer. Catch all the action on Zlatan's HD screen with cinematic sound, guaranteed seating and a terrace making the atmosphere in the legendary Clapham club World-Cup worthy.

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CREDIT: Last Days of Shoreditch

Last Days of Shoreditch - London

An Enchanted Forrest in the heart of London's Shoredtich, Last Days of Shoreditch have installed one of the city's biggest outdoor screens for the World Cup season. Tickets from £5.

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CREDIT: Skylight at Tobacco Dock

Skylight - London

Take a break from the stress of the footie with a half-time game of pétanque or croquet at one of London's favourite rooftops. Skylight at Tobacco Dock will be screening selected matches from 14th June to 15th July.

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CREDIT: Tropicana Beach Club, Covent Garden

Tropicana Beach Club - London

If you're being forced to the football but would rather be spending your summer relaxing on a tropical island, why not meet in the middle and Covent Garden's Tropicana Beach Club. Enjoy cocktails, happy hours, free entry and giveaways while the England games are on.

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CREDIT: The Water Poet

The Water Poet - London

Sometimes you can't been a good ol' pub when it comes to watching the footie. And The Water Poet in Shoreditch is one of the best London has to offer. This summer there'll be nine huge screens across the pub and beer garden as well as a cinema scree in the pub's cellar bar. Make sure you secure a prime position and book a table of private area before it's too late.

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CREDIT: DesignMyNight

The World Cup at Peckham Levels - London

South London's coolest venue Peckham Levels will be live screening every match of the 2018 World Cup. With free entry, three bars, eight delicious food vendors and two huge screens there's something for everyone. Oh, and it's kid and dog friendly too, so the whole family can join in the fun.

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CREDIT: The Luna Cinema

The Luna Beach Cinema -

Team watching the match on a gigantic cinema screen with fish and chips on the beach in Brighton for a quintessentially British World Cup experience. We recommend wrapping up warm though!

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CREDIT: Cafe Football

Cafe Football - Manchester

OK, so this is probably one for the more football mad amongst us... Cafe Football is one of Manchester's go-to destinations for football fixtures, and situated a stone's through from Old Trafford, the atmosphere during the World Cup will be second to none - particularly for Manchester United fans. Oh, and if the If promise of hearty mid-match food and a match-day atmosphere isn't enough to sway you, the cafes (there are more locations across the UK) will also be running a game of Cafe Football bingo during the non-England fixtures.

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CREDIT: DeisignMyNight

The Bavarian Bierkeller - Liverpool

If you like your beers how you like your screens (BIG), then you need to head to Liverpool's Bavarian Bierkeller for all the World Cup action. We're holding out for an England v Germany final to make the most of this vibey venue.

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CREDIT: Instagram/SlimsPorkChop

Slim’s Pork Chop - Liverpool

Teaming up with other independent restaurants and bars around Liverpool, Slim's Pork Chop will be offering a special food a drink menu for certain matches eg the Mexico vs Germany game on 17th June - both sides will be catered for with steins, brines and tacos. They have two plasma screens in their basement and there will be 2-4-1 cocktails on offer for specific games.

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CREDIT: The Three Sisters

The Three Sisters - Edinburgh

The Three Sisters are showing the World Cup fixtures in their outdoor terrace and they have a variety of street food stalls at hand if you get hungry, from wood fired pizza to beastly burgers.

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CREDIT: Studio 88

Game On at Studio 88 - London

This joint has a non-stop live band who will play your song requests after the match (you have to write them on napkins). They have a cocktail hour during each match, alongside drink and food packages eg corn dog with fries and a bottle of Budweiser for £10.

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