Have you been tagged yet? I’ve not – yet… or, as a friend put it this morning, ‘No one’s dared tag me yet.’
With the arrival of 'Challenge Accepted' the chain letter is back again. But, of course, because 2020, on Instagram. What shall we call them? Tag Challenges? Insta Chains? Chain Stories?
You know what they are… It’s where someone does a challenge and then tags more people asking them to also do the challenge. In some cases, the challenge is about raising money for different charities, for that 5k one, it was in aid of the NHS. For the more recent Challenge Acceptedone, the idea is female empowerment and lifting other women up...
So can I please state here for the record that OF COURSE, I am fully behind any efforts that raise funds for much-needed charities at the moment. Raising up women is good too. And, that – to their credit – most of the challenges never promise a plague on your houses if you don’t come through with the goods. Not like back in the 90s when you’d never get to kiss a boy if you didn’t write painfully crafted and colourfully adorned letters to the three girls you met in a holiday park two years ago.
I mean, what would they threaten you with I guess. As another friend (who was asked to down a pint, run a 5k and name her favourite albums) said, ‘What can they do? I’m already in hell, aren’t I?’
But, can we also, maybe quietly, say that sometimes they might not make everyone feel amazing… and that sometimes you might not want to do them? And that that’s OK?
Sure, maybe that’s being oversensitive… but between posting all these challenges aren’t we also all talking a lot on social media about how there’s never been more of a time to feel, justifiably, a bit oversensitive about whatever we want? We’ve also been talking about the right to remain decidedly unproductive… for some people, having the nagging feeling that you have to do something like this could just add to the admin they’re already struggling with – like balancing family, children, work, Zoom calls, checking in on friends and having your own little daily existential panics.
And the problem, of course - as with those Zoom calls - is that there's never been a worse time to pretend that you're too busy to do something. Because everyone knows where you are most evenings - and thinks they also know you've got time to do whatever you've been asked to. The fact, as many of us know, is that plenty of us are juggling at lot at the moment – and many of us are juggling not very much at all, and finding that equally tough.
One person told me: ‘I got tagged in one about buying people meals. I did it because I felt pressured and bad, but I chose not to nominate anyone else and pass that feeling on. It’s all well and good sharing nice initiatives but don’t name and future shame people.’
So, while for some of us these insta posts may be great entertainment, motivation and a perfect excuse to donate to charity; for others, they may not be so fun. As always with social media, not everything is black and white.
We asked psychologist Sue Firth for some advice on what to do if you find yourself in a tricky position.
‘It can be so tricky,’ she said. ‘If you don't want to do it, try and be light hearted and say so, like, "That's not my thing but thanks for including me. I'll maybe join in next time." If you'd prefer to make an online donation to a charity then tell them you've done that instead. That way there's no pressure about how much to give.
‘Or you can join in with the sentiment but not the donation and say "Oh that's great, I really care about what they do and I'll support them another way thanks".
If it's really stressing you out, 'come off that form of media for a few days and use another'. And remember, says Sue, 'These trends often pass quite quickly.’
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