Let's acknowledge the obvious: no-one feels like dating right now. It's a treacherous business of dodging fetishists on Tinderand commitment-phobes on Bumble and if you're not doing that, it means you've probably discovered the latest app through which you can self-flagellate with attractive and unavailable individuals: Hinge. The general consensus seems to be that through January it's safer to stay on the sofa and gradually become one with your duvet.
But that was before The Guardian Blind Dates gave us Morgan and Joanne, and they've changed the game. They're exactly what we need during this confusing nether-period of the year when everyone is either chewing celery or binge watching Netflix while their running shoes fester at the back of the wardrobe.
If you haven't been following Twitter's love-affair with them, here's the basic breakdown: In last weeks edition of The Guardian Blind Dates, which generally speaking isn't always the most exciting column: the Social Worker and Barista (both 24 years old) started their date in Emilia’s crafted pasta in east London. They then chased dinner with four negronis and a bottle of wine which ultimately got them so wasted that they crashed a house party and somewhere in the midst of it all, Morgan walked into a glass wall. Joanne's knickers are also now at an unidentified house somewhere in London.
Since then BBC radio has interviewed the two and we learned that they both turned up nervous and mutually decided to make the most of the Guardian's blind dates budget and get pissed.
Already Twitter is calling for a dedicated column for the pair, which we are 100% behind. We are invested in this relationship and feel like we went on the date too. Why do we love them so much? Let's break down the reasons:
They Are Definitely Not Doing Dry Jan
Which in itself is a joy. Morgan and Joanne have reminded us that it's totally acceptable to swig negroni and wine until the early hours of the morning and there isn't a keto-friendly low-carb vodka soda in sight. I'm not advocating a date in which you get so drunk that you walk into a glass wall, but we are all on board with Joanna/Morgan when it comes to this. 10 points for being so relatable to our Chardonnay-quaffing selves.
They Were Super Sweet About Each Other
Joanne praised Morgan's 'energy, intelligence and sense of humour' while Joanne said Morgan was 'obscenely fun'. And that's super sweet. Especially because most of us would rather gauge our eyes out than seem like the more interested party on a date. We can all take example from Joanna and Morgan going into 2019.
They Crashed A House Party And They're Not Even Sorry They Did
Breaking and entering on someone else's 30th birthday might seem like a dodgy plan for the evening, but we all need entertaining stories right now to bolster public morale and break up Brexit news and weather chat in the office. On behalf of everyone, thank you Joanne and Morgan for providing this.
....Which Joanne Left Her Knickers At
And the only downside of this is that we now feel cheated for not knowing the rest of the story behind this. Are Joanne's knickers floating around a London garden somewhere? At what point did she notice she was no longer in possession of her underwear? Actually, most of the internet are now calling for a column to be dedicated to Joanna and Morgan so we hope this information is forthcoming because honestly we have unanswered questions.
Morgan Remembered Details About Joanne's Cat
Who according to her was 'fairly ugly but sadly estranged' - points to Joanne for describing in depth the aesthetic and emotional state of your cat. Does this validate us producing 10,000 pictures of our dog at a date? Because we have always wanted to do that.
The Guardian have since published a follow up piecewith further details about our favorite date of 2019.