Let’s Not Pretend Having A 7-Step Beauty Routine For Your Vulva Is ‘Empowering’

Having a seven-step skincare routine is hard. Not only is it time, and money, consuming, but every evening you have to face the bleak reality that capitalism has brainwashed you into endlessly seeking the social advantages of conventional beauty - as you continue to rub your fourth serum into your face for no apparent reason other than you’ve been told to.

At this point, we’re all well aware of how ridiculous it feels to have so many steps to our beauty routine, but we won’t stop. When we will stop however, is when brands try to take that same marketing tactic and apply it to an area that we absolutely don’t – and will likely never – need more than one step. That is, the seven-step vulva beauty routine that some brands are peddling as ‘empowering’.

‘The Perfect V’ is a feminine hygiene collection sold on popular websites such as Beauty Bay and Cult Beauty. The full range - which is only sold in its entirety on Beauty Bay - includes a cleanser, intensive lotion, beauty sheets, an exfoliator, beauty mist, serum and luminizer – yes, that is highlighter for your vulva (or 'v', since the brand can't actually seem to use the biological terms for our body parts while exploiting our insecurities of them.)

Brought to our attention by one Twitter user who asked ‘what the f*ck?’ when posting a screenshot of the product series, the range not only promises to sooth and smoothen your vulva, but - on Beauty Bay - also claims to be ‘beauty editor approved’.

We’ve been told, time and time again, that our vulvas need nothing more than warm water and plain, unperfumed soap to remain clean and healthy- while our vaginas clean themselves naturally using vaginal discharge. Yet, as beauty brands seek out new ways to profit off of our our deepest insecurities, we continue to be sold the idea that our vulvas aren’t good enough unless their exfoliated, misted and HIGHLIGHTED.

It’s not just the feminine hygiene products that are concerning though, after all they have been around for years. It’s the marketing tools that are being used to sell them. Looking at the Perfect V range, there’s a focus on them being ‘beauty editor approved’ with an option to read more. Read more we certainly did, and what we found was so ironically paradoxical we couldn’t help but laugh.

‘The idea of being prescribed a seven-product routine for my bikini area went against all my beliefs and values,’ the beauty editor wrote, ‘I wrote my 10,000-word Master’s thesis about beauty industry misogyny! But then I realised that nothing about these products is prescribed,

‘The Perfect V is an option, and options are empowering – if you want to use it, it’s your choice,’ the article continued, ‘And you know what, I’m glad I live in a time where the beauty industry is acknowledging that there’s more to feminine hygiene than what we’ve been conditioned to believe.’

Let’s get one thing straight, you can’t take a bunch of lingo used to describe the way which we’re all taught things from an early age that perpetuate patriarchal norms and apply it to feminine hygiene under the guise of female empowerment. Increasing choices for women, in general, is empowering – but it cannot be used to justify selling us an expanded range of feminine hygiene products that we literally do not need, purely to exploit the fact that so many women are embarrassed by their vulvas.

At a time when children as young as nine are seeking labiaplasty, when 73% of women are enduring uncomfortable sex because they’re too embarrassed to use lube, when women are bleaching their vulva to make them look ‘younger, lighter and smoother’, framing the exploitation of vulva insecurities as ‘empowering’ is pretty questionable.

But the disconnect between brands pushing their feminist credentials while also selling feminist hygiene products continues. Cult Beauty, who started their mission to end vulva stigma this month with a campaign called #jointhevulvation also sell the range - as part of their new ‘sexual pleasure and wellbeing’ section. Meanwhile, the campaign promised to raise awareness of gynaecological cancers, attempting to close the orgasm gap and hoping to end common taboos around vagina’s and vulvas - something we could all get behind.

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Yet, the site is also selling five products from The Perfect V range (a cleanser, beauty cream, exfoliator, mist, and intensive beauty cream) with product descriptions such as ‘this pH-balanced, dermatologist and gynaecologist tested and paraben-free line will enhance your Perfect V with its rejuvenating properties.’

‘Medical advice would be not to use any of these products,’ says Pradnya Pisal, consultant gynaecologist at London Gynaecology, ‘They can cause side-effects including allergic reaction or a change of pH, leading to infection and discharge.

‘The vaginal mucosa is self-cleaning,’ she continued, ‘There is a risk of upsetting the delicate balance of pH and vaginal bacterial flora by using these products. Vulval skin too is very delicate and sensitive and any products used on that area should be used with caution. It's personal opinion whether you want to use products in that area – but it is important to note that anything used could be a potential irritant.’

Holly Barber of the British Association of Dermatologists agrees, stating, ‘the skin of the vulva is very sensitive, as such it is can be prone to irritation and can become sensitised to certain chemicals - in other words develop allergies. Because of this it's important to keep hygiene in this area simple. Soap substitutes, designed for sensitive skin, are best.’

So, unsurprisingly, according to the experts, we absolutely don’t need – and should avoid – exfoliants, beauty sheets and highlighters for our vulva. We may be told be should use them, we may be told it’s ‘empowering’ for us to have them, but if there’s one area of our bodies that we can absolutely all agree we don’t need a seven-step beauty routine, it’s our vulvas.