Yes, I know what you're thinking - being friends with your ex should be a no-go. However, it looks like there is actually a healthy way to do it. Exhibit A: Taylor Swiftand Taylor Lautner.
The internet was buzzing after the singer revealed her friendship with ex-boyfriend Lautner and his wife, Taylor Lautner (formerly Taylor Dome - yes she is called Taylor too) who is a self-proclaimed longtime Swiftie.
Lautner, whom Taylor Swift briefly dated when they were teenagers in 2009 (and he is widely assumed to be the inspiration behind Swift's song 'Back to December') reunited this weekend. More than a decade later, during her Eras Tourconcert in Kansas City, Swift invited Lautner onstage for a surprise appearance.
As she introduced him onstage, Swift revealed that Lautner has been a 'very positive force' in her life. 'He and his wife have become some of my close friends,' she said. 'And it’s really convenient because we all have the same first name.' Lautner also expressed his admiration for Swift while thanking her for including him in the music video project.
Swift's 'I Can See You' video which starred Lautner alongside Joey King and Presley Cash was released on Saturday. The collaboration between them all sent fans reeling over the Taylor-Verse’s converging as the trio of Taylor's shared their own recreation of an iconic Spider-Man meme.
The singer shared her thought's to Twitter, 'Taytay is INCREDIBLE in this (didn’t have a stunt double!) and shout out to Tay Lautner for being so awesome to hang with on set.' Adding, 'The Tale of 3 Taylor's'
I'll be honest, there aren't many exes I have that I can proudly say have been a positive force in my life - but clearly 'The Taylors' are a lot more mature than I'll ever be.
This whole saga just goes to prove there are healthy ways to be friends with your ex. It's clear that enough healing and time has passed between the pair, and they are both willing to move forward.
Taylor has been standing up for her ex-partners a lot recently. Recently Swift asked her fans to stand down when it comes to her ex-boyfriend John Mayor.During her Era's concert last month she asked fans to act with ‘kindness and gentleness’ and to not ‘feel the need to defend’ her against people she’s potentially written songs about.
It is possible that sometimes, your ex-partner was once your best friend and someone whose influence on you is undeniable. After years of growing together, it can feel impossible to let that friendship go even if your romantic relationship wasn’t working.
If you're thinking following in their footsteps - do so with caution. When it comes to an ex, unresolved feelings like hurt, resentment or jealousy are an indication that it might not be the best moment to actually try for a friendship.
If you squirm at the thought of your ex talking to you about another woman he’s been seeing or your blood begins to boil when you remember an argument you had five years ago - you’re probably better off taking some space to focus on yourself for now. After all, watching someone else move on when you aren’t quite there yet (be it because you’re seething with rage or full of longing) is just difficult and certainly not conducive to a healthy friendship.
On the other hand, a positive indication that friendship is in the cards would be if you have completely moved on - like Lautner, with his wife Taylor - or are otherwise feeling totally content with the single life and at peace with the past. As long as you respect each other's wishes and don't fall back into old habits - it's possible.
It's a hard one, but if Swift and Lautner can do it - maybe we should all be more open!