Ah, what to buy the man who has everything. A pair of socks? Some golf gloves? A nice bottle of whisky? A fun tie? What really screams: ‘thanks for being my dad’? Well, according to Gwyneth Paltrow, sex toys do.
Yup. The Goop founder reckons the perfect Father’s Day gift is nothing other than her own range of male sex toys: two vibrating penis rings ($100) and a penile masturbation device ($200) to be exact. She’s calling them ‘guy pleasers’- we’re calling it horrendously awkward.
Just take a second to imagine the scene: you’ve sat down for a wholesome family dinner and slide a gift coyly across the table to your dad. ‘Thank you for your love and support over the last year,’ you say... as your father pulls open the present’s ribbon to discover a vibrating penis ring. Your sister throws up into the ice bucket. Oedipus complex is rapidly searched on Google by your mother.
‘Dads, brothers, uncles, boyfriends, and husbands have not seen much in the way of innovation,’ the Goop website claims of the uncomfortably spicy gift ideas. ‘But rather than reinvent the wheel, we decided it would be more fun to Goop the sh*t out of it.’
Gwyneth’s gift guide then handily breaks down her Father’s Day offering into three different sections of x-rated and more traditional gifts: ‘Chef’s Kiss’, ‘In Pursuit Of A Different Kind Of Dad Bod’, and ‘The Sharpest Tool In The Shed’.
And, needless to say, the internet is horrified. ‘Yeah. I’ll get right on to buying sexual devices for my FATHER!’ joked one user. ‘She’s insane,’ another added bluntly, while a third specified: ‘I don’t even want to think about my father’s sex life much less buy him a sex toy.’
From vagina-scented candles to jade eggs for Kegel type exercises, Gwyneth genuinely never fails to surprise us with her latest intimate invention. But this marketing move may have been a step too far.
Happily, we've some other suggestions below.
Father’s Day Gift Guide 2022
1 of 30Personalised Concrete Desk Planter, £21, Not Another Bill
Elevate his desk space with this dual-purpose concrete planter. It will not only add a pop of colour, but also has space for (only his chicest) pens and pencils.
2 of 30Strawberry Smash Gin, £29, Sipsmith
Treat your dad to a taste of summer with this sublime gin, which is distilled with the juiciest strawberries direct from Wimbledon. Expect Brownie points for life, once he has a sip of this.
3 of 30Master Hot Sauce Collection, Amazon
If the dad in your life is anything like ours, then he doesn't let a thing pass his lips without a large drizzle of hot sauce covering it. So indulge his taste buds with this pack of 30 uniquely flavoured hot sauces – we have it on good authority that the Jalapeno Lime is rather moreish (to say the least).
4 of 30Personalised Card Holder, £35, Not Another Bill
Give your dad the official thumbs up with this chic Italian leather card holder that feels much more expensive than it actually is. Be sure to check out the wide range of personalisation options available.
5 of 30Carolina Herrera Bad Boy Cobalt, from £59.50, The Perfume Shop
Aside from the instant gratification your dad will get from unboxing this statement bottle, clean notes of oakwood, vetiver and cedar will ensure repeat buys in the future.
6 of 30You Got This and Be You Art Prints, from £18, Fy
Show your appreciation for your very important dad with these cool graphic prints from Fy.
7 of 30Men’s Nightwear Gift Set, £100, The White Company
Elevate his loungewear with this soft, stylish set of basics from The White Company.
8 of 30Camille Walala: Taking Joy Seriously, Amazon
Inspire design junkie dads with this new book from Camille Walala which is filled with her graphic, colourful art, alongside sketches and descriptions of design processes.
9 of 30Nikka Coffey Grain Whisky, £57.95, The Whisky Exchange
Spoil your dad with this sweet Japanese sipping whisky from iconic brand, Nikka. With notes of toffee and vanilla, this smooth tipple is reminiscent of a rum and is best enjoyed straight or on the rocks.
10 of 30Personalised Giant Photo Booth Print, from £65, Not On The High Street
For something unique this Father's Day, surprise your dad with this cool, super-sized photo booth-style print from The Drifting Bear. We love.
11 of 30LOOKFANTASTIC x MANKIND Father’s Day Box, £50, Look Fantastic
Get thrifty while overhauling his grooming regime with this hamper full of luxe men's products. From Elemis bodywash to Medik8 cleansing gel to This Works Sleep Plus pillow spray, he is going to look like a new man. Containing 12 grooming products, this box is worth over £130 in total.
12 of 30Personalised Ferm Living Kitchen Towel in Light Blue and Burgundy, £26, Not Another Bill
Entice your dad into the kitchen with this ridiculously stylish, personalised tea towel.
13 of 30Portugal The Cookbook, Phaidon via Amazon
Transport your dad to Portugal with this brilliant cookbook from Phaidon. Think fresh fish, meaty stews and those sweet, crumbly natas. All ridiculously moreish.
14 of 30Hybrid Pillow, £109, Simba
If your long-suffering dad is in dire need of a quality sleep, then look no further than this smart pillow from Simba. It'll regulate his head temp and he can adjust the height and firmness simply by removing or adding the interior foam blocks or 'nanocubes'.
15 of 30Fortuna Multi Use Clips, £12.31, Octaevo
Whether he uses these 2x3cm metal clips as a cute accessory to brighten up his outfit, a paperclip or a chic bookmark, he will be one very lucky dad.
16 of 30Churchill Whisky Glass, £14, Not Another Bill
Spoil your whisky-loving dad with his own, (incredibly chic) reeded glass tumbler.
17 of 30Franz Ferdinand – Hits To The Head Vinyl, Amazon
Indie dads can't fail to love this newly-released double LP from Franz Ferdinand. In addition to 18 of the band's classic anthems, (oh, hello Michael and Take Me Out) the album features two brand new songs.
18 of 30The Savoury Selection Hamper, £130, Fortnum & Mason
Make your dad's Father's Day that bit more special with this impressive hamper from Fortnum & Mason. Filled with a fine selection of cheeses, chutneys, crackers, pate, olives and more – everything he needs for a very decadent (well deserved) picnic lunch.
19 of 30Aveda Phomollient Styling Foam, £20, Look Fantastic
Tame his wayward barnet with this beauty ed. favourite. Simply smooth over dry or towel-dried tresses and hair is instantly smoother and sleeker. Flyaways begone!
20 of 30Clover Stripes Poplin Pyjamas, £245, Tekla
For the crème-de-la-crème of sleepwear, look no further than Tekla. These luxe pyjamas are crafted from the softest organic cotton and are designed to be worn oversized and slouchy.
21 of 30This Might Be Worth Something Print, £60, Mr Bingo
Invest in this cool A4 sized print from Mr Bingo and even if it's not worth millions in 10 years, he will have a cool limited-edition screen-print on his wall.
22 of 30Beer, from £3.05 each, Pressure Drop Brewing
There is nothing our dads enjoy more than a fine craft beer. And when they look and taste quite this good, you are onto a sure-fire winner.
23 of 30Idles T-shirt, £24.99, Merch For Good
Treat your dad to a band tee from Merch For Good, not least because 100% of profits go direct to Trekstock, to help support adults in their 20s and 30s living with cancer. From Alt J to Metronomy to Warpaint, all artwork is designed by the bands themselves and makes a cool alternative to a tour t-shirt.
24 of 30Il Letterato Lavander Candle, €230, Ginori 1735
For the dad who has everything… may we present this beyond-stylish porcelain candlestick from chic Italian brand, Ginori 1735. It not only smells divine (think green and zesty), but also makes for a striking table centrepiece.
25 of 30Roberts Revival Petite Portable DAB Radio, £99.99, Roberts Radio
Hurrah! Roberts Radio have created a portable, petite version of their iconic DAB radio. He can even Bluetooth across his own playlist and use the device as a standalone travel speaker. Versatile.
26 of 30Mason Digital Photo Frame, £189, Aura Frames
Keep your dad updated with all those photos off your phone with this brilliant smart-frame from Aura. Simply download the app and start sending pics to it. It even plays videos through an inbuilt speaker.
27 of 30Smeg Pizza Stone, £149, AO.com
If your dad loves his Italian food and is forever lusting after pizza ovens, then may we present the perfect gift… This 60cm pizza stone heats up as your oven pre-heats and mimics a traditional pizza oven, crisping up the base and puffing up your dough for a restaurant quality pizza.
28 of 30Bookmark Nazar, £12.31, Octaevo
Protect your dad from evil spirits with this stylish lightweight bookmark from design company, Octaevo.
29 of 30Darkness Whisky Tasting Set, £17.95, Master of Malt
There is something rather special about a tasting set as it forces the sampler to be mindful and really think about what they are trying. And this sherried whisky is a fine example. Very reasonably priced, it'll make a thoughtful gift for the whisky connoisseur without breaking the bank.
30 of 30Coconut Milk Bath, £85, Aman
Give your dad the night off with this indulgent coconut milk bath from Aman. It will not only make him smell heavenly, but will also soften his skin and help relax that busy mind.