Why Can’t We Stop Testing Our Relationships On TikTok?

The latest viral theory to take off on TikTok uses ketchup to 'test' your partner.

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by Alice Hall |
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Another day, another viral TikTok relationship test. Traditionally, relationship ‘tests’ involved things like your first major fight, moving house and planning a wedding, but in the TikTok era there’s a whole new set of jargon, from birds to forests and ketchup, which will (supposedly) help you to determine whether your partner is The One.

The latest viral theory to take off on TikTok uses ketchup (yes, you heard that right) to 'test' your relationship. Dubbed the ‘Ketchup Challenge’, TikTokers simply pour ketchup onto their kitchen counters and ask their partners to clean it up – and most of them are terrible at it. The text in a now viral TikTok by user @brooklynandbailey, which currently has 1.4 million views, reads ‘asking my husband to clean up ketchup off the counter.’ When she tells her confused husband to clean it up the ketchup she squeezed on the kitchen counter, he proceeds to do so with his hand.

In other viral reactions in the videos, men can be seen smearing the ketchup in circles with a paper towel (a clear fail), arguing about who made the mess and even making a fuss about wasted ketchup. Successful tests are few and far between (probably because failed ones are way more entertaining to watch) but in one video, user @jadeswildparty shows her partner passing, wiping off the counter thoroughly using paper towels, then spraying the counter with cleaning solution. 'I think this is the first guy I’ve seen actually use spray and wipe after wiping the sauce up,' user commented.

This is just one of an influx of trends that encourage TikTok users to test their partner for values such as fidelity and commitment to the relationship. One popular example is the 'bird test' - where you point out something seemingly insignificant but that is interesting to you, like a bird out the window. If your partner responds with genuine interest, then that is sign they are a keeper. Meanwhile, the 'orange peel theory' shows TikTokers asking their partners to peel an orange for them and if they do, they're (apparently) interested in you.

Then there's the Forest Test, The Moon Phase Test, The Strawberry Test, The Name A Woman Test - the list goes on and on. And who can forget that cultural moment when people were dumping their boyfriends because they didn't 'get' the Barbie film, which became known as the 'Barbie test.'

All of this has got us thinking: why are addicted to testing our boyfriends on TikTok? Of course like most things on the app, these trends are pretty entertaining - and it's pretty unlikely that everyone doing them is actually going to dump their boyfriend because they didn't peel them an orange. But there is something to be said about the popularity of these tests - the hashtag #orangepeeltheory has over 30 million views on the app, while #birdtest has 8.7 million - and also why we love watching them. Because if you're anything like us, it feels near impossible to scroll past a video of a confused boyfriend struggling to clean up ketchup.

These tests could be symptomatic of our wider dating culture. Whereas before we just had to contend with good old fashioned infidelity, we now have to navigate a world fuelled by ghosting, breadcrumbing, cookie-jarring, orbiting and cuffing - to name a few. More of us, for better or worse, are meeting partners on dating apps than ever before, but it's no secret that these are designed to be addictive. In a dating culture where choice is endless and new matches are just a click away, how can we ever be truly sure we're with the right person? Perhaps these relationship tests are a way of filling that existential void, while going a bit viral at the same time.

Relationship Psychologist Dr Limor Gottlieb explains that, although these trends seem innocent, we need to be aware of the 'underlying psychological motives' for relationship tests, which can have a positive or negative outcome depending on your expectations and your partner's reaction.

'Insecure people (those with an anxious or avoidant attachment style) are characterised by a profound fear of rejection, and are therefore on the constant lookout for early signs of rejection and they resort to manipulative strategies to test their partner’s love and care,' she says. 'This could not only set their partner up for failure if they can’t meet the expectations, but moreover it can result in disappointment and ultimately feeling rejected. We need to be aware that tests are usually manipulations and can therefore foster more insecurity rather than creating connection.'

In a sign we have reached peak relationship tests, there has even been a rise in 'stop testing your partner videos' on TikTok. User @alyssiacruztherapy says in a video 'Stop testing your partner with this orange peel method. It is giving high school drama, it is giving gossip advice column, it’s very gamey. We don’t want to be playing games in our relationships, and if you set up a scenario to ‘test’ your partner, you’re doing it wrong.’

If you feel the urge to test your partner, Dr Gottlieb recommends taking a moment to understand why. 'Instead, try open and honest communication by admitting to your partner that you may have to be reassured at times,' she said. 'Vulnerability creates deeper bonding. You’re trying to find more security in your relationship and there’s nothing wrong with that if you go about it in a healthy way.'

However, like other TikTok trends, it's important to keep in mind that, for most people, these tests are just a bit of fun. Dating expert James Preeceexplains that the outcome 'should have no real effect' on the relationship being tested. 'Many of these challenges are just made up and you can't really judge a partner based on the way they clean ketchup or peel an orange. Some of them do have a loose basis on real tests, but most are just cod psychology,' he said. 'To work out if a partner is right for you, you must look at the bigger picture and how they are treating you over time.'

So while it might be nice little luxury when your partner peels an orange for you, don't read too much into it. You never know who is hiding beneath the layers, after all.

Alice Hall is the Staff Writer at Grazia UK. She was previously a Junior Features Writer for The Daily Telegraph.

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