It’s hard to think of a worse song to have sex to than Hudson Mohwake’s Cbat.
The jerky 2011 hit – imagine an airhorn being dropped down a staircase and you’re in the right musical postcode – is riding high in the iTunes charts thanks to a viral music-themed sex confession. Let us explain …
Why is Hudson Mohawke’s Cbat in the charts?
A 25-year-old Reddit user, going by the name of u/TylerLife, posted a story on the TIFU (Today I Fucked Up) subreddit about the song he listened to while having sex with his 20-year-old girfriend.
‘A little back story,’ he began, ‘when I first started having sex I researched into ways to be better as I was a little
stiff and pretty much had no idea what I was doing. I read online that you can play music and match the rhythm in order to put on a better performance.’
So far, so normal. A survey of Spotify playlists a few years ago by lingerie brand Pour Moi gave us a little window into what the UK likes to get jiggy to — The Weeknd, Jeremih and Ginuwine were all up there.
What’s wrong with Hudson Mohawke’s Cbat?
No shade to the craft of Glasweigian producer Hudson Mohawke, which slaps in its own right, but Cbat sounds like an airhorn being thrown down a flight of stairs, with the deliberate rhythmic consistency of a learner driver executing a three-point turn. It’s not exactly a rhythm you’d like to jump up and down on.
‘I pretty much played this tune every single time so the amount of times she must have not been enjoying it, when I thought the complete opposite is annoying but also embarrassing in ways,’ continued u/TylerLife.
After learning she hated it, he stopped. But 'it's fucked up the relationship tbh because sex feels awkward now. The other day we were having sex with no music but I was still thrusting to the tune playing in my head. She recognised this and asked me to stop.'
He concluded: ‘I thought this song was perfect and I always thrust along with the tune and I feel it gives me the perfect rhythm for doing the deed to. I usually bust to this song and find it devastating she hates the song.’
It’s safe to say that the internet was largely on the side of ‘my (20F) girlfriend’ for this one. TikTok users posted hilarious videos of themselves trying to jerk around to Cbat. And, such has been it’s exposure, it’s rocketed up the iTunes charts.