Now, if you’ve been watching Married at First Sight UK, you will be familiar with this phrase ‘slow burner.’ These two little words have led to the breakdown of many MAFS relationships. Previously Ant told all the boys, ‘I see Alexis like a friend.’ However, when she confronted him on his lack of affection towards her, he looked in her eyes and said, ‘I’m a slow burner.’ When questioned by Amy about his lack of urgency within their relationship, Josh also used these phrase. But when does it come to the point where the relationship is not just a ‘slow burner’, but rather a smokescreen for other issues within the relationship?
Within a relationship it’s important that both parties can properly communicate their feelings. If a 'slow burn', aka not feeling strongly enough about your partner as they had hoped you would, becomes an excuse to get away from someone or drag out the process of commitment, then it’s probably best to be honest that it’s not working. No one is saying you must move fast in a relationship. There is a beautiful thing about falling in love slowly and deeply. However, in Married at First Sight something tells me it’s not about falling in love slowly, but to keep the other person there just in case (and, if you look at it cynically, ensuring screen time).
Using the ‘slow burner’ excuse is simply a cop out. It can be used as a way to divert from showing emotion, and to avoid opening up. It can also be emotionally manipulative as it leaves the other person wondering when it will all click – if it ever will.
Sexual chemistry can’t be ignored here too. If there is no physical attraction – how long can the relationship really go on for? We are seeing this take place in Morag and Luke’s relationship. Luke has been very vocal about how much he loves Morag in public and in private on many occasions. Morag said in her confessional, ‘It’s going to be hard for Luke’s mum to hear that I don’t love him the way that he loves me. We are not on the same chapter at the minute.’ When Luke voiced his concern about how uncomfortable it was going to be to tell his parents they were not at the same stage, Morag’s reply was, ‘Well I can’t help that.’
Many viewers believe Morag needs to put him out of his misery - their relationship is beyond the point of ‘burning’ and has certainly fizzled out - for Morag, at least. She continuously says that he is ‘not manly enough’ for her. Luke keeps referencing that he is the man Morag ‘needs’ but what about his needs? He doesn’t deserve to be wading in no-man’s land wondering when the penny will drop, and she will finally reciprocate those feelings.
So, if you ever get caught in this weird limbo because your partner is a ‘slow burner’ – really read the signs. No one wants their time wasted, and that is exactly what they are doing using this excuse.