The final week of Married at First Sight is under way – and were not quite ready for it to be over yet. It seemed like just yesterday that Nikita was kicking off at the dinner party and Megan and Jordon had an affair...
Luckily for us we still have a few more episodes and yesterday’s episode revealed a key theme – compromise. Compromise is a word that comes up a lot in relationships. To many people it is understood as a way to ‘meet in the middle’.
However, compromise isn’t always an easy thing to achieve. It can also create tension within a relationship, and we are definitely seeing that with Maraliyse and Franky. Maraliyse has two teenage children and Franky has no desire to have any kids. On last night’s episode his candid comments about kids riled both Maraliyse and viewers up. Franky said: ‘Everybody in life says ideally this and ideally that. I also said ideally maybe she doesn’t have kids.’ Marilyse was taken aback by Franky’s remarks, and privately told the camera during her confessionals, ‘To be honest with you, I was offended because I have got children and I don’t want that to be a problem. I don’t like to waste time. Maybe we’re not meant to be. Maybe this isn’t right for me,’ she added.
We must unpick the language here because Marilyse is allowing herself to believe that this is a problem she has created. This is Frankie projecting his feelings on to her – she already has kids so either he understands and accepts that or moves on. Either way it’s not right for Marilyse to be second guessing herself. ‘Maybe we’re not meant to be’ is an understatement. If a man is making this much fuss about you having kids, he certainly is not the one.
Sometimes, we can also put on a front and act like we’re ‘compromising’, but actually we are caving. This involves giving into a decision because it’s easier – which can also build resentment later in life. This situation is bubbling between Luke and Morag. It is clear that Luke is besotted with Morag. He would do anything for her, even if that means compromising himself until all glimmers of his true self are gone – this is not healthy either.
It started with changing how he dresses and trying to become more assertive so Morag could have the ‘man’ she has always wanted. Yesterday Morag and Luke discussed about not wanting kids. Luke said, I'm okay with it it's not that I defiantly want kids or I definitely don't want kids. For me, I've accepted that I'm happy with not having kids.'
Last week it was a revelation that sent shockwaves for viewers and Luke’s family as he was previously adamant he wanted kids before meeting Morag. Luke’s parents even voiced that he was only doing it to please Morag. Luke’s mum voiced, ‘I don’t want to see you hurt, I don’t want to see you turn your life upside down just to make someone else happy.’ She continued, ‘There is definitely something there between you. But whether that’s long term, I can’t see it because you’re still going to come back to being the family man who wants kids.’ Morag said after Luke’s revelation, ‘ I do feel worried you’re just changing your mind for me.’
It is very clear that Morag was just searching for a way to escape the situation. She was dying for Luke to say that kids were a deal breaker so she could walk away from the relationship and not be deemed as the bad guy.
Both Luke and Marilyse need to realise their worth and not compromise themselves too much for people who are clearly NOT trying to meet them halfway. While compromise is essential if it goes too far, and resentment builds – there is no hope of return.