Love Island’s Sharon Gaffka: ‘I Expected Some Trolling But I Didn’t Expect Death Threats’

The former Islander tells Grazia about the dark side of appearing on the UK’s biggest dating show.

Sharon Gaffka

by Sharon Gaffka as told to Bonnie McLaren |
Updated on

Before I walked into the Love Island villa earlier this year, I knew I wouldn’t be everyone’s cup of tea. I wasn’t naive; I expected some trolling. But I didn’t expect death threats, or violent and racist messages. I didn’t expect VoiceNotes from people saying they would stab me in the street if they saw me, or telling me to end my own life.

In the weeks since I left, I’ve had messages saying that my face contains more plastic than the ocean. That I’m ugly; I’m fat. That my boobs are hideous and I’m disgusting inside and out. I was even called a desperate whore for saying that I was happy to pay for dates, when Aaron’s repeated digs about my career as a civil servant went pretty much unquestioned.

I’ve also been sent unsolicited pictures by men. But sadly, that’s nothing new. I was 14 the first time I received an unwanted dick pic. I can’t understand why sending unsolicited photos is legal, when it would be illegal if a grown man flashed anyone – let alone a child – in the street. It’s why I’m happy to back Grazia’s campaign to make cyberflashing a criminal offence, something which you can sign the petition for here.

For the most part, I think the trolls don’t realise that celebrities or reality stars will see these messages. But we do. Because just like them, we’re real people, just trying to go about our lives. Trolling hasn’t just impacted me, either. It’s something my family has been directly subjected to, with my 23-year-old brother (who had 30 followers before the show, but now has 1,700) also receiving abuse in his DMs.

The first time I cried after leaving the show was when I learned one of my friends was receiving horrific abuse.

Unfortunately, I am not the only Islander to have to go through this. The first time I cried after leaving the show was on learning that one of my friends in the villa,Chloe, was receiving horrific abuse; I just wouldn’t want anyone to experience that toll on their mental health, because I know what it’s like.

It’s obviously not just specific to Love Island, either – after the Euros finals, the Black penalty-taking England players faced a barrage of racist abuse. And it isn’t only people in the public eye. One in five women have suffered online abuse or harassment. And 41% of all Millennial women have been sent an unsolicited nude photo from a man.

The public is constantly reminded to #BeKind. But I think things are getting more hostile, particularly as the people sending hate are now so young. At 13, I was out playing football, but now teens have access to Instagram – and some think it’s OK to send threats. There needs to be some sort of education to teach young people that this kind of abuse has a real, tangible impact.

Thankfully, the only saving grace is that I feel like I’m well-equipped to deal with the hate. I worry that not all Islanders are, but ITV has been incredible in terms of mental health care. I have someone I can call at all times and, as I was leaving the villa, I was shown advice from former Islanders about how to deal with the negative side of social media. But just because I think I can cope with the horrific hate, it doesn’t mean I should have to.

TO SUPPORT OUR CAMPAIGN TO MAKE CYBERFLASHING ILLEGAL, YOU CAN SIGN OUR PETITION HERE

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