It’s the same narrative every year. The Love Island lads are chosen by their ability to attract women with looks, banter and of course… a whole load of red flags. One though, stands out in the crowd: the resident ‘Nice Guy’.
This year, that’s Hugo Hammond, a 24-year-old private school P.E. teacher from Hampshire who apparently applied to the show after one too many pints. In his introduction to the show, he confessed to inventing the ‘half-night stand’, where he either ‘does a runner’ or ‘boots out’ women that he brings home after sex.
Viewers seem to have forgotten that little titbit though – we certainly did – because he very quickly fell into the ‘nice guy’ box upon arrival into the villa. So nice, in fact, that he’s yet to couple up with anyone he truly likes.
It’s the age-old trope that always crops up on Love Island, ‘nice guys’ are always ‘too nice’ to actually get the girl they want. They’re commended for their ‘strong morals’ and ‘marriage material’, but season after season they struggle to meet someone they like. We saw it with Dr. Alex George in 2018, Curtis Pritchard in 2019, and now again with Hugo.
The onus for that then, is put on the women. ‘GOD, women are SO shallow,’ people will scream. ‘Why can’t they just give him a chance? He’s sooooo nice!’
Now, we can’t definitively say this about Hugo in particular because he could have an incredible personality that producers haven’t allowed us to see, but when it comes to the nice guy trope in general, we just have to say it: being ‘too nice’ actually means that’s all you have to offer.
Women don’t reject ‘nice guys’ because they’re so incredibly kind that it repulses them, they reject them because that’s all they are. ‘Too nice’ then, is just code for no charisma. Surely, if that’s the only way you’re being described by others, it means there’s nothing else to say?
So often, women are bringing a whole lot to the table when it comes to relationships. Fun, confidence, charm, intellect, beauty, emotional intelligence, generosity, financial independence, sex appeal – the list goes on - all while already being kind. That can certainly be said for many of the women on Love Island, so of course they want a man who can match that too.
Why are men praised for being nice, when it's the bare-minimum women bring to relationships?
In Britain in particular, being funny – or having banter as the Love Island ladies would say – takes a cheekiness, a sarcasm, an ability to laugh at and with your partner. Almost all of the women in the villa have reiterated this, that they want someone who can take the piss out of them and vice versa.
It’s really not much to ask, but it’s a lot more than most ‘nice guys’ will offer if their entire personality is making everyone cups of tea (no offence, Curtis). The bad guys though, who are put in that category simply by virtue of not being ‘too nice’, often can – they just also come with a whole lot of gaslighting alongside it. Must we settle for either or then? Can we not find a man in the middle, an emotionally-mature-nice-but-also-sarcastic-and-confident guy?
The thing is we probably can, take Liam Reardon or Teddy Soares for example, but they don’t get anywhere near the public validation the so-called ‘nice guy’ of the season does. And the most ironic thing is, said nice guy never actually turns out to be that… nice.
We saw it first with Dr. Alex. He was the treasure of the villa for weeks, women scolded for never giving him a chance. Until bombshell Alexandra Cane walked in, with all of her incredible beauty, and did just that. What did Alex do? He led her on, re-coupling with her when he wasn’t really interested, and then dumped her when she confronted him over his lack of effort – telling her she needed too much ‘affection’ from him.
It's important to note that he appears to have grown a lot since the show, now a mental health champion so many have benefited from - but as the original 'Nice Guy' of Love Island, it would be remiss to ignore the narrative that birthed nice guys to come...
Then came Curtis Pritchard, responsible for one of the most savage break-ups we’ve seen on Love Island, who led Amy Hart on for almost an entire season before kissing Jourdan Riane in Casa Amor and re-coupling with Amy anyway when Jourdan wasn’t interested. He ended up with bombshell Maura Higgins, but split up after six months together with Maura eluding to him cheating online.
Now we have Hugo, who has had both Sharon Gaffka and AJ Bunker - two incredible women - interested in him, one of which he friend-zoned, the other he continues to lead on while telling the public there’s ‘something not right’ and that she’s ‘too forward’.
Let’s be clear, it’s okay if Hugo isn’t interested in AJ - just because she’s stunning doesn’t mean he has to like her. But the thing is, he can’t possibly call himself a ‘nice guy’ (as he did in last night’s episode) when he’s continuing to give her mixed signals. One minute he’s avoiding her to play football with the lads, the next minute he’s bringing her coffee – a Love Island ‘grafting’ staple – and referring to himself as a ‘simp’ (someone who is obsessed with another person) and ‘nervous’ around her.
While she lays all her cards out on the table, he’s refusing to communicate his own – that he’s actually not sure about her at all – meanwhile she looks a fool to the general public who are all very well aware he doesn’t like her.
This is a staple of every Love Island ‘nice guy’, they are so afraid of confrontation with women, they simply refuse to do it and end up hurting them more in the long run. In reality, a simple conversation with any of the women above – Alexandra, Amy or AJ – would have allowed them to better set their expectations, pull back effort where it wasn’t reciprocated and potentially find love elsewhere. They need not be screaming rows, and none of these women were at all aggressive in nature, so why be scared to confront them?
Ultimately, what all of this teaches us is to stop idolising the ‘nice guy’ when they’re not in fact that ‘nice’. Kindness is the bare-minimum any woman deserves, and having the confidence to communicate, understand what a woman needs from a relationship and actually giving it to her, that’s what being truly kind is.
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