Listen, there’s no need to feel embarrassed, we’re all in the same boat here. Michael Griffiths and Curtis Pritchard waltzed into Love Island, with their irresistible smiles and emotional maturity and stole all our hearts. Literally, we have not stopped singing their praises since they entered the villa.
And yet, in last night’s Love Island, they not only ruined our faith in love but also proved a longstanding theory: ‘nice guys’ are actually the fucking worst. Let’s recap, Michael entered the villa and was coupled up with Yewande Biala, and omnipotent oracle that she is, Yewande actually predicted his downfall from the very start. ‘You seem like you’d be a heartbreaker’, she told him. ‘NO Yewande!’, we screamed, ‘Michael is loving and mature and loyal and MISUNDERSTOOD.’ Well, look who’s laughing now (probably not her to be honest, he’s about to screw over her best mate).
We spent weeks watching Michael’s blossoming romance with Amber Gill, quickly becoming our favourite couple for their seeming genuine interest and potential. He doted on her, she made him laugh, they never strayed no matter who walked it: we were in love with their love.
At the same time, Curtis and Amy Hart were becoming the token villa sure-thing. The Jon and Hannah, the Nathan and Cara, the Kem and Amber, the Jack and Dani – you know, that one couple that gets together first and actually stays together the whole time, always going on to win no matter how likeable other – less established – couples become.
Let’s be honest, Curtis and Amy were a shoe-in to win this series a couple of weeks ago. Amy might’ve hit some road bumps with her weird attitude towards Lucie, but her redemption narrative was due any day and ultimately, they were most likely to take the cake purely for being committed the longest. Little did we know her redemption narrative was imminent, but it would come at the hands of Curtis breaking her heart.
Because, while both boys professed to really care about the girls they were with, so much so Michael was even dubbed ‘King of the Wet Mop Club’ for how much he doted over Amber, they have since chosen to pursue other women as Casa Amor returns to ruin lives and break hearts. And the fact it’s shocked so many people is a testament to just how smitten, and loyal, the boys had seemed.
But actually, for their minds to change so quickly about the women they’re with says two things. They’re the ‘grass is greener’, easily distracted types who jump ship as soon as the women they’ve spent weeks professing their feelings for are out of sight. Or, and this is even scarier, they never had genuine feelings for the girls and simply settled for what was available at the time, buying into their own lies and in turn selling a dream they never believed in.
Because, the only differences between the new girls and every other bombshell that’s entered the villa is that there is a wealth of choice and no one to immediately answer to. It goes to show that actually, when they can’t be held accountable for their actions, they’ll explore new relationships (and, actually, maybe that's a better representation of what happens in real life when you've been dating for someone for a few weeks, and wouldn't necessarily have a clue if you’re chatting up other girls on a Friday night.
Michael and Joanna shared a bed in last night's episode...
1 of 1Michael and Joanna shared a bed in last night's episode...
According to behavioural psychologist Jo Hemmings, the fact the boys have so quickly decided to pursue other women shows a lack of emotional maturity from Curtis and Michael, despite being dubbed the most mature men in the villa since their wise words of advice spread over the weeks.
‘They are emotionally mature in the situation that they're in but the minute that situation is fractured in any way they're not,’ she said, ‘then the truth is out and actually they're much less self-assured than we thought they were.
‘I don't think it makes them bad guys,’ she continued, ‘I think it just makes them less stable emotionally than perhaps we gave them credit for.’
Of course, the real victims here are the girls they’ve spent weeks with, whom are continuing to stay loyal to their partner and sleeping outside (WITH THE GNATS) while their boys cuddle up with and get to know new girls.
For Amy, who saw Curtis as her first potential boyfriend (currently they’re still half-boyfriend, half-girlfriend…so Curtis is only half-cheating we guess?), she has clearly become very invested their relationship. She's even been talking about how her niece and nephews will always know them as Auntie Amy and Uncle Curtis. And Michael too has spent weeks breaking down Amber’s barriers to allow her to be vulnerable with him. Yet now, both boys look set to destroy their partners faith in them by straying whether they ultimately choose new partners or not – with tonight’s teaser showing Michael seemingly kissing Joana and Curtis admitting he would prefer to be with Jourdan.
Yes, the boys have every right to be unsure about their couplings, and they do have every right get to know new people. But, to not address the issues they clearly have with their partners – which let’s be honest, didn’t just appear instantly at the sight of another beautiful woman – it’s unfair on the partner you’re supposed to care about.
If being a ‘nice guy’ means ignoring issues in your relationship, slowly coming to resent your partner and then sharing those resentments with other women you’re interested in, spoiler, you’re not actually a nice guy at all.
Read more: all of the absolutely wild Love Island rules...
Love Island rules 2019 stacked
1 of 17You can’t masturbate
With rumours swirling that Sherif was booted from the villa for masturbating in the shower, The Sun reported that he would 'spend hours' in there - however, he wasn't necessarily masturbating himself. 'When producers told Islanders they have to get ready to film a challenge, Sherif was deliberately spending ages in the shower. He said he couldn't be bothered,' the source said. Avoiding challenges or participating in some healthy self-care? All we know is 2 months without masturbating is a long time to go...
2 of 17You have to shower at certain times
When writing for Grazia Daily, Zara McDermott revealed that she was most shocked to see Islanders showering in the morning. 'We could only use the shower each evening,' she said of last season. Spending all day in the sun without a morning shower? No wonder Amber was worried about smelling when she Michael went to kiss her last night.
3 of 17You can’t talk about your relationship on Saturday's
In a shock revelation on This Morning, 2017 Love Island winner Kem Cetinay revealed the real reason the show doesn't air on Saturday's. 'They give you one day off. You get one day off per week,' he said, 'What happens is, it gives them a day to clean the villa, and you take your mics off, and normally we go to the beach.'But that wasn't the only startling revelation, he also admitted that producers watch Islanders like a hawk because they're not actually allowed to discuss their relationships. Essentially, anything they have to talk about their home lives outside the villa, lest they be scolded for breaking the all important rules.
4 of 17You can only have two glasses of wine or beer on a ‘big night’
They get dressed up, put on a full-face of makeup, film awkward dance sequences, and all for two little glasses of wine or beer. According to 2016 Islander Liana Isadora Van-Riel, 'you're allowed one or two drinks a night, either wine or beer, no spirits.'And while contestants will opt for two drinks on a 'big night', most nights they just have a cup of tea. Wild.
5 of 17You can’t be naked ever, even in the bathroom
Since the villa is technically a public space, there can be no nudity whatsoever as it would be considered public indecency. That means even in the bathroom, islanders can never be completely naked in front of each other.
6 of 17You can’t read a book or magazine
We knew about the no phone rule, which makes sense given they don't want Islanders reading about themselves online or hearing updates from the outside world, but no books or magazines?! No wonder half of them end up stir crazy, with 2017 contestant Montana admitting the villa is really boring day to day.
7 of 17You have to eat at certain times
According to Montana, contestants can make their own breakfast but lunch and dinner is always catered. In fact, food is brought through a secret door. 'In the larder there's another door that goes out the back that they lock,' she said, 'That's how they deliver food.'It's long been a question why we never see the Islanders eating, but Montana stated that's when producers come in and charge the contestants microphones, insisting 'everyone wants that good because it's so yum.'
8 of 17You can’t take your mic off ever
One of the most serious rules in the villa, contestants aren't allowed to take their mic's off apart from on Saturday's, their off day. If you're caught doing it more than once, you'll be axed from the villa immediately, according to The Mirror.
9 of 17You're not allowed to know the time
You essentially have to become a full Girl Guide in the villa if you want to know the time, telling it through the sun. Because, Islanders aren't allowed to know themselves and all of their phones are set to different times. 'You never know what the time is,' 2017 contestant Montana told The Independent, 'They'll wake you up by putting the lights on or a voiceover will say "Islanders, it's time to get up".'
10 of 17You can’t smoke in the villa, even in the garden
Last year, Love Island stopped showing scenes where contestants were smoking after complaints they were all partaking in the habit too much. Now, Islanders aren't allowed to smoke on the premises at all, even in the garden.
11 of 17You can't have unprotected sex
With rumours Kem and Amber got in trouble last year for having unprotected sex, this rule seems to be even more integral this year. Discussions around sex on Love Island have snowballed massively as the seasons become more and more popular each year. While early seasons saw Islanders getting busy almost every night, in the same room with scenes often aired every episode, sex has become much more taboo - when it comes to airing it at least. Last year, producers decided to stop airing sex scenes, as well as the Islanders smoking. Given the slut-shaming many female contestants receive upon doing the completely natural act it's unsurprising.
12 of 17You have to go for scheduled chats
And they must be juicy. According to Montana, when she and fellow 2017 contestant Camilla were talking about hymms they like, producers intercepted and told them to spice it up ('that's not interesting', they said). In fact, producers will also intervene to ensure certain people talk, but the conversation itself is not necessarily staged. 'They might be like, "Camilla, pull Montana aside and ask how she's feeling about Alex"', Montana admitted.
13 of 17You’re not allowed to get waxes
It's long been wondered how the contestants keep up with their beauty routines in the villa, with not a bumpy bikini line or stubbly chest in sight. Do contestants have waxers brought in to the villa? Absolutely not, according to Montana. While the women in her season requested wax strips to do it themselves, they 'all had bruising' and so resorted to shaving, with Montana insists 'most people' do.
14 of 17You absolutely cannot have drunken sex
A huge villa no-no, drunken sex is completely off the cards for Love Island contestants. Given that they're allowed two wines or beers on big nights and most of them sip on tea all night, we're not sure that's a huge risk, to be honest.
15 of 17No inappropriate language or behaviour
One of the actually non-weird rules, contestants are completely prohibited from 'innapropriate language or behaviour'. While it's quite a broad, and subjective, phrase, the rulebook applies it to racial slurs, homophobia and aggressive language. Plus, sexual harassment and physical violence is included in this rule.One of the biggest swirling rules about Sherif's ban is that he and Anton got into a heated argument. Given that the only other villa removal we've seen because of rule-breaking was when Malia Arkian punched Kady McDermott back in season two, it's high on the list of likely reasons Sherif was banned.
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16 of 17No discriminating against staff
Another non-weird rule, contestants aren't allowed to be rude or discriminatory to staff or else they will be booted off.
17 of 17They need to keep the complete rule book at all times
All of these rules must not only be obeyed at all times, but contestants must also keep the rule book in their possession too - just in case they forget about the whole no masturbating thing.