It took a month, but last night we finally got to see Faye Winter in her element: flirting with a man who, as she would say, can ‘tear me a new arsehole’. By that, she of course means someone who is just as mean to her as she is to them, because what is flirting with straight men if not an excuse to rip them apart?
I say this as someone who has, on occasion – and by that I mean all the time – adopted Faye’s ‘aggressive’ flirting style. Aggressive is in quotes because that’s what everyone was dubbing her technique on Twitter last night, while watching her ‘graft’ new boy Sam Jackson.
Blunt, witty and straight to the point, Faye piled the pressure on Sam with an assertiveness that he was quick to throw back to her, resulting in us finally hearing her properly laugh with a man for the first time this series.
And honestly? It was refreshing. So often on Love Island, the flirting we see involves women dumbing themselves down, putting on baby voices or cackling far too loudly at very shit jokes. Flirting is asking ‘Where’s your head at then?’ or engaging in a back and forth of sexual innuendos that only appears to breed lust until someone’s head is turned. This time though, we actually got to see chemistry develop that felt authentic to each person involved – and I loved it.
I loved it partially because, it’s exactly how I would flirt in that situation. Faye might come across aggressive in her style, but it’s usually the best way to flirt with men that so often see themselves as dominant in that encounter. Aggressive flirting allows you to redress the power balance, particularly when you’re talking to someone VERY attractive, and create a real sense of honesty between you both.
So often, flirting is about selling the best version of yourself, with subtle deception thrown in as many put their best foot forward and elaborate parts of their personality and life their partner is clearly turned on by. But actually, this brutal honesty thing Faye has going on – asking direct questions, calling out any hint of hesitancy or ambiguity – sets the tone early on for straight-talking from both parties.
Aggressive flirting means you can subtly test the bounds of any straight man’s toxic masculinity.
More than that, when you consider yourself a dominant woman, or alpha female as Faye clearly is, flirting the way she does means you can subtly test the bounds of any straight man’s toxic masculinity. Will they be offended by your obvious dominance? Will they crumble under the pressure of a blunt joke? However they react, it will be extremely telling of their ego, sense of humour and attitude towards women more generally – thus the perfect early compatibility test.
Ultimately though, aggressive flirting is just extremely fun. In a world where women are so often forced to make themselves smaller around men, being blunt or bitchy in the name of flirting means you can tear them apart without fear of an aggressive reaction. If you’ve ever felt uncomfortable by a man’s flirting – or rather, sexually harassing – before, there is honestly no greater satisfaction than watching one squirm when you take control of a conversation and call out their bullshit, all with a smile and laugh then makes them ‘behave’ because in their mind, they might have a chance with you.
Of course, it only attracts a certain type of man. Usually, it’s the ones turned on by dominance – which are likely few and far between, especially on a show like Love Island. So really, your flirting style depends on what type of man you hope to be with. Whether it’s someone who simps over you or someone who can match your energy and give it right back – as Sam does with Faye – aggressive flirting really is the most fun honey-trap to set.
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