AJLT: Should We Still Define Our Sexuality So Rigidly When Gender Is A Fluid Construct?

And Just Like That is a gift that keeps on giving. Love or hate the show, it’s delivered some memorable, albeit cringeworthy, scenes (we’re all thinking about that Miranda and Che moment). But while it’s ultimately been a mixed bag, never quite able to grab the glory of its former self, it’s opened up a lot of conversations about gender and sexuality. Specifically, how society connects the two.

In the latest episode, Miranda revealed to a shocked Charlotte that she’d had sex with Che. Before the admission came, we all buckled up for Charlotte to launch into a holier than thou reaction truly ironic for a woman unable to properly use one of her children’s pronouns correctly.

As awkward as that interaction was to watch, there were bigger questions being asked - specifically of society’s understanding of sexuality and gender. When Miranda was asked about her sexuality, she answered with uncertainty, trying to explain both to herself and the others that it wasn’t easy to define. It wasn’t that she couldn’t comprehend not being heterosexual, but rather she didn’t know how to describe her sexuality because Che is non-binary.

In that moment, we not only got a brilliant snapshot into Miranda’s mindset, but also that of cis gendered society in general. For those of us who are gender non-conforming in some way, the concept that sexuality is as fluid as gender is a simple one, yet for everyone else, the rigidity of old labels impose a restriction society refuses to allow us respite from.

This is why there’s always the question of when you came out, as if you’re not continuously doing it throughout your entire life. Society deems sexuality as being such an open and shut case, but sexuality is such a broad spectrum, one we’re always discovering new details about as we better understand ourselves. And so, like Miranda, we have to ask: Do we need to use such stagnated labels?

'I think the key thing here, for me, is a label is not an absolute. It’s just what you’re feeling/identifying in that moment in time, and it’s perfectly normal and acceptable for that to change, just like our emotions can,' explains Emma Gunn, CEO of Re-Balance. 'Because our emotions change doesn’t make them any less valid, same as our gender expression and sexuality.'

As a society, we’re so open to the notion of change… until it relates to something we deem set in stone. Arguably, this is why Charlotte was so shocked at an admission that nearly every viewer saw coming after that first Miranda and Che meeting. Charlotte’s so certain of how she sees her friend’s life and identity, she never thinks to explore the possibility that Miranda might be in a state of change.

Since coming out as genderfluid myself, how I label my sexuality is as fluid as my gender expression. I’m queer, that’s an absolute. But what I attach to the deeper meaning of that queerness is open to my interpretation and mine alone. If I, or a character like Miranda, chooses to refer to themselves as bisexual, it’s not for someone else to say we can’t own that term because we’ve dated outside binary gender. Gatekeeping doesn’t belong in the definitions we use because, as is the way with language, it’s use is as fluid as our expression.

Of course, knowing this doesn’t change the question of how such an exploration will play out in And Just Like That, if it’ll even play out at all? Even though the show is trying to diversify itself, a lot of what we see is filtered through a predominately cishet lens. Yes, gender is being discussed, but it’s done from the angle of characters who are cis and so the language used often helps maintain the rigidity that needs to be disregarded.

No matter how Miranda’s storyline expands, the series needs to respectfully learn how to engage with topics it doesn’t necessarily fully understand. If not in this season, then definitely in any future ones.

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