Adam’s Behaviour On Love Island Is Textbook Gaslighting

adam love island

by Jazmin Kopotsha |

It's high time the Love Island contestants stop referring Adam Collard a 'god'. It's not funny, it's not helpful and after yet another episode of Adam's heart shattering party trick, it's really not doing him or any of the show's women any good either.

We're pretty familiar with the Adam Pattern by now. We saw it emerge when he dumped Kendall for new girl of the moment, Rosie. He told Kendall that it was her fault (she was too insecure, apparently) and moved on. Then Meghan entered the villa. Adam displayed an interest in her, told Rosie that it was her fault that he had wondering eyes (she was being too possessive, apparently) and set himself up to crack on with Meghan.

Rosie wasn't having it, bravely confronted him and told him that his behaviour wasn't on and they eventually reconciled. Enter Zara, another new contestant, and another opportunity for Adam to prove our theory right. True to form he circled his new prey, laid the foundation for a bed swap (he likes to vaguely verbally distance himself from whoever he's coupled up with whenever he executes the preliminary chatting-up, you see) and prepared to sack off Rosie and pounce on Zara. Classic Adam.

When he boasts to the boys about his interest in new girls, it's a laugh. In last night's episode he was jokingly referred to as a 'god' a couple times too many. In one instance the comment was made by resident good guy, Jack. 'Adam just can't help himself, can he?', he said. 'I don't know how he gets away with it. He's like a god in his own right'. Adam acts like he thinks the same way with is habit of dismissing women when something better comes along, and then blaming his movements and the respective women's emotions on them (because it's never his fault, in his mind) we've been given a peek inside the Gaslighting 101 playbook.

Rosie is upset, he doesn't understand that and swiftly frames her as the architect of her own sorrow. When Rosie sat down to talk to him about the Zara situation, Adam smirked as she explained how he had upset her and expressed concern about pushing Zara, a new and relatively isolated contestant, away. 'You've not pushed Zara away, you've pushed me away', Adam said. Incorrect, unfair and typical.

On a separate occassion, Zara asked Adam if things between him and Rosie were officially over. He said yes. 'Not totally because of me?', she asked. 'It is quite because of you', he replied. 'I'm human as well, it's not my fault if I fancy you'. And so the Adam Pattern gets a head start this time, because now his ditching Rosie, dismissing her feelings and any sense of responsibility for his actions are Zara's fault instead.

It's subtle and a little unnerving to see played out in the context of reality television when quite often these sorts of things, unless they've happened to you, feel distant and reserved to internet stories and distressing film subplots. And while there's no doubt that it's horrible, we're not entirely sure that Adam really knows what he's doing.

I'm not sure any one would go so far as to say that Adam 'entitled bronzed demi-god' Collard believes that he is intentionally manipulating the women around him. I'd say it's pretty unlikely that before jumping on an EasyJet flight to Majorca he Googled 'how to make girls like you and then convince them that they're crazy when you get bored of them'. But the game he's been playing over the last few weeks doesn't seem new to him. It seems that this is merely how he believes moving from girl to girl on a faux quest for love works. Newsflash: it's not. And deep down I think the rest of the men on Love Island are very aware of it too.

They'll laugh it off, call it bants and put it down to Adam being Adam, but that's about as helpful as the phrase 'boys will be boys' in a conversation about how toxically some men consider themselves entitled to treat women.

His family certainly aren't here for it either. Tweeting from Adam's account last night, they said: 'Even us at home really don't agree with what Adam's been doing [in] the house. Actually feel sorry for Rosie. No remorse. Families not happy with his actions'.

'Hands up once more if Adam's an absolute fool for letting Rosie', his mum added. She clarified that, contrary to some responding stories, she has not 'disowned' Adam, 'just disagree when smiling when Rosie was crying her eyes out, he's in the wrong. Let's not get that twisted. My son will always be my son.'

She added: 'Many people saying it was okay for Rosie to do it to Kendall calling it "Double standards". Adam's got little sisters and he'd hate for them to be treated like that, no double standards about it. Simple'.

The rest of Twitter was also in uproar, of course, with many women expressing just how depressingly relatable the whole situation is, and how horrible it is to watch. We can't say how it's going to play out, nor what it'll take for Adam to get the reality check he so desperately needs, but for the time being we're just glad that Rosie recognised it was time to separate herself from Adam and took the steps she needed to start the process of getting closure. Safe to say we'll be watching Adam's treatment of Zara very closely.

MORE: Tiring Of Love Island? The Real Action Is On Twitter Anyway. Here Are The Best Memes So Far

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