Everyone is obsessed with how much sex everyone else is having. But if we’re really honest, most of us will go to our graves never telling the truth, or knowing the truth about others... except maybe our closest friends.
Often, it can be scary even commenting ‘As if they HAVE that much sex!’ when talking about a book or a film, just in case actually everyone else IS having that much sex and YOU’RE actually the odd one out. There’s no conversation quite like one about the frequency of one’s sex life that can make you feel more like you’re at senior school, about to reveal your deepest secret in front of the mean girls. It's different tothe 'number' question, it's one that most of us keep closely guarded. Well, as long as we're not in a new relationship and bragging...
But, when it comes to the latest ‘Sex Diary’ on The Cutthat’s gone viral today, we feel comfortable, confident even, in saying that (despite the absolutely INCREDIBLE details the story contains) mostly, we walked away like, ‘Jeez, is it us, or are they having a LOT of sex?’
And that’s saying something when it comes to this piece.
Don’t worry, here at Grazia, we all had a chat in our morning conference and we all felt the same. Well, everyone said they did… guys? Guys?
But anyway, tothe story. If you’ve not seen it, the story is about a women whose husband is sleeping with her best friend. And it's kind of unsaid, but (in the sense that they pop off to 'get dessert' together and no-one bats an eyelid) not reeeeally unsaid.
‘7 a.m. We have slow morning sex on the countertop while the bacon is cooking — a risky move considering our kitchen has massive floor-to-ceiling windows,’ starts the piece from the perspective of The Wife (whose name we don't know). A risky move considering it’s 7am and a normal work day, surely. Making bacon, we mean. Don’t they just run into the office after 12 minutes getting ready time and chomp whatever they grabbed from Pret?
By the end of the day, the wife is almost cancelling nice dinner plans to get home for a session – so I think we can say her food to sex importance ratio is a little different from ours anyway.
All seems well until she reveals Adam (husband) has organised a game night with Lana (bff) and Mason (bff’s boyfriend). Then the bombshell: ‘Adam doesn’t know that I know that he’s been having an affair with Lana for three out of the five years we’ve been married… He doesn’t realize that I know they’ve been closer since the pandemic, that not being able to see each other for so long made them even hornier, and that, since Lana got laid off a few weeks ago, they’ve been able to see each other more.’
I. KNOW.
After more sex and then hangover sex (NO), the couple are at Lana’s. The wife explains the cheating her and husband do is an ‘unspoken truth’ adding ‘of course I would’ve preferred if Adam ‘had chosen to hook up with anyone other than her’.
Lana and Adam head out ‘for dessert’ (yup) before TWIST, the wife starts having anal sex with Mason while they’re out. Just, yknow, because. Next day everyone is hungover, but Adam stays out that night (cough, Lana, cough) so the wife heads over to Mason’s for more sex. The next day, the couple make up, so it’s time for, you guessed it, more sex. The next day is Adam’s birthday, so there’s a birthday blow job. And the next day… well, you know what happens now.
To be clear, we’re not doubting the veracity of the piece or, of course, aiming for any slut-shaming if you’re reading this right now thinking that quite frankly, The Wife and Adam are slacking and you bang them out of the window.
But either way, it’s a great piece to enjoy and marvel over while sat in your WFH jogging bottoms and share with your friends today.
Hmmmm... Maybe we SHOULD all be more open about how much sex we’re having… naaaaah, forget it... JK.