Buying a house is an enormous undertaking, with most of us overwhelmed just by thought of saving for a deposit, applying for a mortgage and actually hunting for the bloody thing. However, if that’s all you thought you had to stress about, prepare to be shocked (and need a lie down contemplating your inevitably endless future of renting). Schooling us on everything we really should know but weren’t taught at school, one twitter user started a thread last week detailing all of the things you should consider and prepare for before buying a house.
After being astounded by the number of things he wasn’t aware of, Leonard Ihenacho took it upon himself to explain everything in a way we can actually understand. Starting off with the expenses of it all, apparently there’s much more to consider than just your deposit.
The first thing being stamp duty, which you’re probably already aware of but may not realise the actual percentages involved:
Then comes the surveys involved to ensure the house your buying actually ‘exists, that its worth what you are going to pay for it, and that its structurally sound.’ According to Leonard, these surveys can cost up to £2000, and are completed on all new builds, even those that do not exist yet. And the cost of the survey isn’t the only concern, the valuation survey could end up costing you a tonne more…
Onto your next unexpected expense, solicitor fees. Solicitor’s charge a fee to exchange contracts with the seller’s solicitor which can reach £1500, however they are a necessity even if you’re buying in cash. All of these expenses mean your deposit fund probably needs another £5000 in it.
For all of you out there looking to buy a new build, this is where you need to sit up and listen, because Leonard’s explanation of this process is probably the most comprehensive and easy to understand that you’ll ever get.
Since we’re all already fucked as first-time buyers, Leonard advises telling the builder you have all of the deposit ready at this meeting, even if you don’t, to ensure they take you seriously. While you’re buying a house that doesn’t yet exist, he also states the importance of viewing another house that will be the same as yours, just in a different location, if you’re buying from a prominent house builder like Permission, Barratt homes or Crest Nicholson.
This isn’t the only way you can be stitched up, he continues to list all of the questions you should ask at your appointment with the house builder:
He continues that 'once you have asked all your questions, the house buyer MUST show you DETAILED drawings of your plot, discuss wall and fence height with you, discuss who is responsible for maintaining walls and fences should they get damaged etc.'
Onto the most awkward, but most imperative part of the house buying journey, if you want to save some money that is. This is where Leonard’s advice will literally save you thousands…
According to Leonard, the house builder will expect you to make these demands, and while they may not agree to them all it’s definitely worth the awkwardness of it all. So, after you’ve played hard ball, what’s next? The reservation process, where you might think you can relax, but no, of course you can’t, because buying a house is fucking ridiculously stressful.
It’s now time to part with all that money you’ve saved for the last million years of your life for your deposit…
While using a mortgage broker can cost £350, Leonard claims they’re worth it, making the process much smoother (and God knows you need it).
WAIT, IT’S STILL NOT OVER. IT NEVER FUCKING ENDS. NOW YOU HAVE TO ACTUALLY GET YOUR MORTGAGE…
When applying for a mortgage, the bank considers your salary, any bonuses you might get, your student loans, credit card debt and car finance or other finance you may have. This is both for you and whoever you may be buying the house with. There’s even a handy excel sheet to check out to see how this is all calculated.
Onto the strangest part of the house buying process, the new community you’ll be living in. According to Leonard, new builds are usually build in a community with other new builds, creating some insane rules called ‘Covenants’. You’ll receive all of them in a ‘thick wad of paper’, which you must go through to ensure there’s none you want to challenge.
Now there’s the insurance to consider, which Leonard advises you get life insurance, building insurance (usually a necessity for mortgage lenders to actually lend to you) and contents insurance. He also recommends writing a will to decide how you want your share in the house to be distributed if you unexpectedly die. Going on to explain the different ways you can buy a house, he shows there are two options:
Once all of this bullshit is over, you ‘transfer your deposit (minus your reservation fee) to your solicitor ready for exchange. You’re then legally obliged to buy the house and the seller is legally obliged to sell it to you. Think it’s all over? Think again.
And if you’re mortgage falls through, shit can hit the fan…
So now you’re onto all the other fun expenses, like spending £8,000 on flooring...
FINALLY. IT’S OVER. Apart from all the money you're going to spend decorating of course...
Honestly, I’ve learnt more from that one Twitter thread than my entire degree.
Check out the full thread here for more information, including Leonard answering the biggest mortgage questions.
Now thinking about how to spruce up your tiny rented room? Check out these cute houseplants...
Grow Your Own Houseplants
1 of 71. Cast Iron Plant
If you couldn't guess from the name, these guys are tough as hell. Forget to water it? NBD. Zero light in your flat? That's fine. It takes a while to grow but they get pretty big (about 90cms) and doesn't need any special soil or anything. Grow from an existing leaf if you want to speed the process up a bit though.
2 of 72. Citrus Plant
Don't wait for life to give you lemons, mate. Grow your own! The main thing to be aware of is the fact that these plants need a lot of good light so pop 'em in a nice and bright room for good results. Lemons are the best place to start in the UK, and you'll want to start these guys outside in the summer and bring them in for winter. If you're nervous about the pressure of growing something edible from scratch for the first time, locate a nursery and buy a one or two year old dwarf tree to grow lemons at home.
3 of 73. Peace Lily
Peace Lilies aren't just pretty plants, they also help get rid of some of the airs toxins and pollutants. If you fancy growing your own, you'll want to sow a seed in a good soil mix that you can get from any and every garden center, and water little and often. We're talking about a year or so wait to see something of substantial flower and size, but if they don't seem to be producing any flowers at all they're probably not getting enough light. Keep a close eye on them too, because they'll probably outgrow their containers pretty quickly so you'll need to repot them.
4 of 74. Chinese Evergreen
The key with these nice and resilient plants is to make sure you put it in some well draining soil. It deals really well with rubbish light, dry air and little water, so maintenance wise you're golden. You might be hard pressed to find seeds if you want to start this plant's journey from the very beginning but if you get a small one that you want to occupy some major space, just make sure you keep them away from pesky drafts because it'll make the leaves sad.
5 of 75. Spider Plant
Spider plants grow pretty quickly so if you buy one and find yourself with loads of little plantlets, you can just pot those up to grow yourself a little spider plant family. Just make sure the baby spider plants have got roots and pop them in a soil-based potting mix and water just regularly enough to keep the soil moist.
6 of 76. African Violets
As beautiful as African Violets are, before you task yourself with growing your own you'll want to make sure you've picked up the appropriate soil before hand. You'll be able to find special pre-made mixes around, and then it's just a matter of making sure you fertilise them (not while they're in bloom though) to help them grow and avoid getting the leaves wet when you water it.
7 of 77. Succulents
Yep, it's our buddies the succulents again. Growing them yourself means popping them in a potted container with drainage holes before confining them to a fancy glass terrarium, okay? Their seeds are teeny tiny so you need to make sure they're well covered with soil so that they aren't moved by over watering or drafts around the house. They grow best in humid environments of course, so you might want to try covering them with something like a shower cap (on The Greedy Vegan's recommendation) until they start sprouting.
This article originally appeared on The Debrief.