You Have To Follow This Tories Of Bumble Instagram Account

A terrifying insight into how future cabinet members are getting on in the dating world?

You Have To Follow This Tories Of Bumble Instagram Account

by Georgia Aspinall |
Published on

Meme accounts are the saving grace of Instagram. For just one millisecond of our filtered, overexposed lives, we get to pretend Instagram models don’t exist and have a little chuckle.

From betches to deliciously stella (we miss you), accounts that poke fun at the world around us really do provide that much-needed reality check on an app filled with false identities and inauthentic content. And what better to laugh at that the painfully sad world of online dating?

Whether it’s dickhead profiles or cringe-worthy opening lines, there’s a meme out there. And now, a new account with a twist has everyone crying laughing: Tories of Bumble. Combining our two favourite things to laugh at, dickheads and dating, the account posts the profiles of ‘future Cabinet ministers’ with hilarious captions to match.

The most common profile being a ‘city boy with a country heart’, you can imagine just how many guns are considered a great profile picture for the tory elite.

And what goes hand in hand with killing pheasants and hunting foxes? The free market of course…

Wait, it gets even more cringe.

Prepare yourself, for some absolutely unequivocally tory banter…

Then there’s the worst of all Tories, the ones that think they’re cool because they hang out in Brixton every weekend before going back to their parent’s country estate for oysters and champagne…

If we can take anything from this account, it’s that we have been blessed by the dating Godshaving never had to view a profile of this horrendous nature before (maybe they refine your options by how much tweed your wearing?). That being said, if you need a good laugh but refuse to expand your location setting to the countryside to see these nitwits, follow @tories_of_bumble here.

Click through to see hilarious Bumble opening lines you should be using...


17 Bumble Opening Lines To Help You Get Your Flirt On - Grazia

bumble opening lines1 of 17
CREDIT: bumble

1. Everyone loves emojis, right?

Just avoid the aubergine at all costs. ALL COSTS.

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CREDIT: bumble

2. Being obviously cheesy can work

As long as you're in on the joke, parmesan.

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CREDIT: bumble

3. We’re SO here for Disney Channel and Vine puns

If Cody doesn't get it, try Zack.

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CREDIT: bumble

4. Even better: dinosaur jokes

Only dinosnores won't like these.

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CREDIT: bumble

5. If you find a Belieber, never let go

Like baby, baby, baby OH.

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CREDIT: bumble

6. Might as well find out if they have a strong vocabulary

Currently ruminating over our own word of the day.

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CREDIT: bumble

7. It’s always nice to acknowledge people

Recruiters, take note.

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CREDIT: bumble

8. Who says toilet humour can’t be sexy?

If you're in this for the long game, it's always good to know how someone rolls.

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CREDIT: bumble

9. Name puns never get old

Top marks if he replied 'cos'.

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CREDIT: bumble

10. See…

Dammmmmn, Daniel.

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CREDIT: bumble

11. This probably won’t garner a response…

…but it will feel sooooo satisfying.

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CREDIT: bumble

12. For when you’re more interested in their pet than them

Everyone needs a furry friend, right?

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CREDIT: bumble

13. Nostalgia rules

Slow clap for Eleisha, please.

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CREDIT: bumble

14. Sometimes you just know you’re not their lobster

But, if you still haven't met your match, you might as well help them find theirs.

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15. A Good Pun Goes A Long Way

Putting a good pun to use can work wonders.

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16. Be creative with emoji's

The art of modern dating is all in the clever use of the emoji..

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17. Were they really on a break?

It's the question that'll never be answered, but you can learn a lot from whether potential bae is Team Ross or Team Rachel.

This article originally appeared on The Debrief.

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