26 Things You’ll Know If You’re The Only Single Girl In Your Squad

taylor swift squad karlie kloss

by Katie Rosseinsky |
Published on

As Taylor Swift well knows, there's nothing better than being part of a supportive girl squad of pals. But what happens when all your friends start getting coupled up, leaving you as the last (single) woman standing?

It's a struggle that Selena Gomez understands all too well. The singer recently told Capital FM 'Taylor is not single, Gigi is not single, neither is Kendall. I am the only single one!' We feel your pain, Selena, and if you've ever been in the same position, we're guessing you'll understand these struggles...

1. You are the ultimate third wheel…

No, scrap that. Fifth wheel, seventh wheel, maybe even eleventh wheel – you’ve been them all.

2. And you’ve accidentally-on-purpose ruined cute couples photos by being a shining beacon of singledom

Just think of yourself as the anti-PDA patrol. You’re the Karlie Kloss in this scenario, complete with cheery grin.

3. You’ve been hypothetically set up with every other lone male in your extended circle…

For the simple reason that you’re both single, so you’ll totally get on, right?

4. You feel like Bridget Jones when you end up at yet another couples’ dinner party…

But with far lower likelihood of meeting 2016’s answer to Mark Darcy.

5. And while it’s OK for you to make the Bridget comparisons, it is totally not cool for others to join in.

We’re ever so ready for another single girl pop culture reference guys, it’s been a very long time.

6. In fact, when it comes to your love life, you're now the group's queen of self-deprecation.

Is it time to throw that Chandler Bing 'hopeless and awkward' meme into the Whatsapp chat, yet?

7. Your friends think dating apps are some kind of hilarious joke.

‘Give me your phone, I want to swipe right on that creepy guy holding a MASSIVE FISH in his pic’

8. And think that being single means going on hundreds of thousands of dates…

Have they seen how slim the pickings are on Tinder? And that’s before you’ve been sent a creepy (and incorrectly punctuated) pick-up line…

9. So they’re very keen for you to regale them with hilarious dating stories…

There’s nothing better than the feeling that your friends are living vicariously through you, right? Right?

10. Even when there is literally NOTHING to share.

Nada. Zilch.

11. You’ve sat awkwardly through your friends’ arguments with their boyfriends...

Must. Not. Get. Involved. Must. Pretend. To. Be. Absorbed. In. Phone

12. And listened to endless rants, and deciphered countless texts…

Basically, you deserve some sort of entry level counselling qualification (even if it’s one you’ve printed off from the Internet)

13. Sometimes it’s enough to make you thank the Lord you’re single.

To quote the gospel of Mary J. Blige, ‘No more drama.’

14. You'd never admit it, but you definitely have 'favourite' couples in your friendship group...

They tend to be the ones who don't make you feel uncomfortable with too many in-jokes and too much PDA.

15. And they're the ones who make you believe that LOVE IS REAL!

Even when you're so single that you've just accepted a LinkedIn connection from a total loser you went out with at school.

16. There’s always that one friend who only wants to meet up when their other half is out of town.

'Let's have a proper GIRLS night!'

17. You've survived a handful of so-called 'girls' nights' that turn into full-blown relationship summits...

Commitment! Engagement rings! The possibility of children!

18. Which obviously you can't really join in with.

And if you do start discussing your theoretical wedding, everyone looks worried and wonders whether you're delusional.

19. When it comes to actual weddings, you've waved goodbye to all possibility of getting a plus one.

Which handily brings us back to points 1 and 2 on this very list...

20. Your coupled-up friends’ Netflix habits are ‘adorable’, whereas yours are ‘borderline problematic.’

Their weekends watching Making A Murderer with their boyfriends count as #CoupleGoals, while your 48-hour Pretty Little Liars solo mission counts as something else entirely...

21. You've lost count of the amount of times you've been asked why you're single...

Because I'm just too damn beautiful? Because I'm in a fictional relationship with a random celebrity? The possibilities are endless.

22. And the number of times you've been told that 'You'll find someone soon'

With the implication being 'and then you'll be as radiantly happy and fulfilled as * insert name here * and I.'

23. You've developed a full on aversion to the pronoun 'we'

When you're all 'me, myself and I'

24. And you'd quite happily invoke an embargo on ALL social media posts alluding to 'the boy...'

Who has invariably 'done well' on his latest gift / perfectly crafted breakfast in bed / choice of spontaneous holiday destination.

25. The same goes for all references to 'my man' or even worse, 'this one'

Because you love your friends, but there's no way they'd EVER talk like that offline.

26. But at the end of the day, your pals are your biggest cheerleaders...

And whether they're loved up or not, they've always got your back.

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